


Alea Iacta Est

by DaenerysTargaryen



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, Drama & Romance, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-03-30 03:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 56,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19034065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaenerysTargaryen/pseuds/DaenerysTargaryen
Summary: "The die have been cast."There was no turning back when Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and there was no turning back when Josie met Penelope.As the daughter of the leader of the great Roman Empire, Josie had a role to play. It had been clear her entire life and she had never fought it. However, after meeting one of the captives in the war between Rome and Germania, she begins to realize that some things are more important than duty.ORPosie AU that takes place in Ancient Rome around the 1st century BCE where Josie is essentially a princess and Penelope is forced to play handmaiden after her people lose a battle against Rome.TW: Mentions slavery, rape, war, violence, and death in the context of Ancient Roman society.





	1. astra inclinant, sed non obligant - the stars incline us, they do not bind us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I have been meaning to write a story that takes place in Ancient Rome. The posie fandom needs more fanfics so I decided to put my money where my mouth is and contribute.
> 
> While I have to take some creative freedom when it comes to writing in this setting (for example, their non-Roman names), I am trying to keep the society around them as accurate as possible.
> 
> TW: In the ancient world, the Romans were conquerors and colonizers. Their economy relied on war, slavery, and a strong social hierarchy. It won't be fair or just and there will be instances where violence and abuse (including sexual violence) will be mentioned. While I do not intend to ever be explicit, there may be moments that are heavier than others.
> 
> Also, please see end for the glossary.

Women weren’t meant to be in the legion camps but her father was a man known for breaking convention. Josie watched as he stood at the centre of the table, his generals surrounding him. They were preparing for their assault on Germania—one her father had every intention of winning. It had been years since his last great triumph and he was getting restless. The people needed to see their _princeps_ _civitatis_ conquering lands and bringing glory to Rome. Quiet civil reforms, no matter how much they improved the system, were easily look past and nothing pleased the crowds as much as a _triumph_. He was first and foremost a great military commander and needed to remind the Senate and people of that.

Josie stayed quiet as the men discussed their plans, her eyes occasionally straying towards her husband. Rafael was by no means a bad man and her father could have arranged much worse, but there was little love between them. In everyone’s mind, they were a great match. She was the _Augustus_ ’ daughter and he was a young patrician from a long line of great men. He had been adopted by her father as his son and heir and Josie was to be at his side as his Augusta when he ruled. It was the best she could hope for. She was able to pass on her father’s name and the dignity that came with it.

Regardless, she didn’t want the position and had no interest in the power that would be afforded to her as an empress. It had been a choice between her and her twin sister. Josie was not only born a few minutes earlier but she also fit into the proper Roman woman mold better than her sister. She was the perfect role model and duty compelled her to stay that way. No matter how much she wished to surrender the title to her sister, her father’s heir wanted her as his wife and naturally, she had no say in the matter.

“ _Pater_ really shouldn’t have brought you out here,” Rafael commented. The meeting had ended and the tent had been abandoned, leaving the couple alone. “This is no place for you. Things can get really messy really fast.” War was bloody and brutal and no amount of confidence guaranteed a win. All it took was a strategic misstep and a legion of soldiers could be easily wiped out and slaughtered. Even if they did win, the piles and piles of bodies was a sight most citizens should be spared from, let alone his wife.  

“He didn’t want us away from each other for an entire year.” She hadn’t carried out her most important duty and it was impossible to provide a back-up heir if they were separated for an extended period of time. Lizzie hadn’t yet had a child so her father was in a rush to secure the empire. The government was too new, too fresh to not have a strong leader. A lifetime of power struggles, civil wars, and chaos was ahead of them if her father and Rafael died without someone trained to take their place.

It was all for the well-being of Rome.

* * *

 Loud cheers sounded throughout the camp as the legionaries flooded in. Bloodied but successful, the men had every intention of enjoying the night. Not only had they won the battle, but they had also plundered the city of its riches and people. Many had died but the ones who survived were one step closer to a comfortable retirement.

It took a while for the thousands of men to enter the camp and it took even longer for those carrying the plunder. Wagons full of valuables and supplies carted into the camp followed by an unfortunate line of people. They were now captives of war—slaves to be claimed and sold the moment they returned to the great city. At the front was no doubt the Chief of the tribe. His life would be spared simply to be paraded down the streets during her father’s triumph. After that humiliation, if her father didn’t order the execution, it was likely the Chief would take his own life.

It took a while to reach the end of the line. Thousands had now lost their freedom and no matter how much respect she commanded, she held no real power to change a thing. This has always been the Roman way. Their win over this battle proved their favour with the gods and they were justly granted dominion over these people.

Josie turned to her father, “What are you going to do with them?” She knew that they still had months of campaigning and there was no way the legions were going to waste their supplies on keeping all of them fed.

“My men will be awarded their pick. Afterwards, they will be sent to a nearby slave trader. He buys them in bulk which is much more convenient for us,” Alaric explained, finding it entertaining to teach his daughter the ins and outs of war. As much as he loved his daughters, there wasn’t much room for him in their lives. Everything they needed to learn was taught to them by their mother and the best he could do was properly secure their futures.

Their attention was drawn away at the sounds of screaming from the back of the line. Some of the women were struggling against their captors, not willing to be separated from the rest of the group. Alaric got up and began to head towards the line but not without instructing Rafael to take Josie back to their camp. His daughter did not need to see what was going to happen.

When Rafael reached out to do as he was ordered, Josie rebuked his attempt. “No.” She walked right past him and followed her father. She didn’t think she could save them but perhaps she could pressure the men into behaving more appropriately.

The soldiers straightened up when their general arrived at the scene and immediately began explaining what was going on. Apparently, the women were not as docile as they were expecting and one managed to give one of the legionaries a bruised jaw. Josie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips, immediately wanting a glance at the daring woman.

What she saw did not disappoint. The woman was poised for a battle she knew she couldn’t win but Josie had a feeling she would die trying. Josie had spent her entire life surrounded by leaders and she knew one when she saw one.

Noticing his daughter’s smile widen, Alaric’s interest was piqued. “What is it, Josie?”

“Nothing, _pater_ ,” Josie lied, knowing that the truth would offend the men in front of her. “I just think she’s pretty.” That part wasn’t a lie of course. Even battle worn, there was no doubt the woman was pretty. “Too pretty to waste away on a farm or in the mines,” she added, hoping she made her point without being too forward.

The aforementioned woman looked up at the two, her eyes narrowed at the casual but highly offensive conversation they were having regarding her fate. The moment the gates had been slammed open, Penelope knew her fate and had to wonder if this ‘ _Josie’_ person was only going to make her life harder. Too pretty for the mines or farms? As far as she knew, being a pretty slave was no blessing at all.

“Then what do you suggest, daughter?” Alaric asked, too curious by Josie’s sudden interest and involvement in the process. Letting her voice her opinion regarding their prisoners was of little consequence to him. In fact, from the looks on the faces of his men, they were also equally as entertained by her sudden appearance—so entertained that the struggle before had been easily forgotten.

Josie shrugged. “Can I have her? Mariana could use some help over the next few months.” Her handmaiden, who had been silent the entire time, looked up in shock. She didn’t realize Josie was dissatisfied with her, nor did she expect Josie to air it so publicly. Josie noticed Mariana’s reaction and shook her head. “You’re doing great, Mariana. I just think you deserve a break every so often. It must be exhausting tending to the only woman in camp. I have different needs. It’s not like I can ask these men to help me.” She gave the legionaries a sweet smile, causing them to awkwardly smile in return. It wasn’t every day their general’s daughter addressed them directly.

After what she had just witnessed, Penelope could not fathom what made the general’s daughter decide to pick her but she did not know if it was a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, being a handmaiden to a rich family would not be as difficult of a life as she had imagined, but to have to serve the daughter of the man who would soon kill her father was a paradox she didn’t know if she could stomach. Regardless, it wasn’t like the general would be stupid enough to let her get close to his daughter.

Much to Penelope’s surprise, the general didn’t object but smiled and nodded. “She’s yours,” he declared. There had been no objections from his men and he supposed his daughter deserved spoil of war for her participation. Life on a campaign was harsh and he was willing to do just about anything to keep his daughter comfortable. He walked over to the woman and smirked. “If you do anything to harm my daughter, I swear by the gods that I will kill every single one of your people.” The darkness behind the man’s eyes told Penelope that it was no idle threat. The lives of her people were in his hands and she knew enough about Romans to know the endless potential of their cruelty; she walked across it after the devastation of their army.

Jose grinned and leaned up to kiss her father’s cheek, “Thank you, _pater_ ,” before gesturing to Mariana to collect her new gift. Penelope was hesitant to follow but seeing little choice in the matter, especially with all her people's eyes on her, she complied.

Penelope read the environment the best she could as they walked along the camp, her eye only averting when faced with the suffering of her people. They had lost and Penelope couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that was crushing her. If only her father had surrendered, perhaps all of this wouldn’t be happening. They would be under Roman control but they wouldn’t be separated and enslaved. While the risk seemed worth it before, Penelope was no longer sure that was the case.

It didn’t take long for them to reach Josie’s camp and the moment they were out of view, Josie turned around and addressed her new companion. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?” she asked, her eyes scanning over the woman’s body to see if any damage had been done. She hoped she arrived early enough but there was no telling what horrors could have occurred as they were marched to camp.

Penelope narrowed her eyes, not sure whether she could trust the girl before her. Romans liked playing their games and Penelope had heard stories of the cruelty they were capable of. Even the women were too caught up in their superiority to show any foreigner the respect they afforded to their fellow citizens. How was she supposed to expect this rich girl would be any different? She was the daughter of the _Augustus_. To the Romans, if any woman deserved an ego, it was her.

“I’m fine,” was all she offered in response. She felt no inherent need to flatter the girl or submit to her.

Josie paid no mind to the woman’s rude tone. Of course, that was something they needed to fix for the sake of the woman’s safety, but now was neither the time nor place for it. “Mariana, can you bring her a fresh set of clothes and some food and water?” Josie ordered. Her handmaiden nodded and disappeared, leaving the two of them alone. “What’s your name?” Josie asked, keeping a respectful distance. Seeing the woman ponder it, Josie continued, “you don’t have to tell me but I wanted to give you the dignity of calling you by your own name. I don’t wish to take who you are from you.”

Penelope couldn’t help but scoff at the princess’ reasoning. “If you cared about that, you would free me this instant.”

Josie frowned but she couldn’t fight with Penelope’s reason. There was no greater stripping of a person’s identity than turning them into property. “I can’t. My _pater_ would be angry if I granted such a mercy.”

Penelope was skeptical. What was one captive in the grand scheme of things? If the girl was truly as good as she was trying to seem, she wouldn’t tolerate what was going on. “So the princess of the great Roman Empire can’t free a captive?”

“Don’t call me that,” Josie hushed.

“What? ‘Princess’?” Penelope mocked. Who was she kidding? This girl was a princess and modesty didn’t suit her.

“I’m not a princess. If you keep calling me that, you’ll get me into trouble,” Josie explained, needing to hammer that point down. “We are a Republic, the people would never accept a _rex_ and if the people around me address me as a princess, they will talk.”

For all intents and purposes, Josie’s father was a king and Penelope wasn’t wrong. He held absolute power but no sane Roman politician would touch the title of “king” with a ten-foot pole. The Republic did not have a king and it would remain that way.

Penelope rolled her eyes. The idea was ridiculous to her. What leader lied to their people like that? At the end of the day, people were ambitious and no amount of justifying it in fancy political language changed the fact that they were selfish and only in it for themselves. “I’m just telling it as it is.”

Josie sighed. She didn’t expect this stranger to understand or to sympathize with her. She was understandably angry. Her entire world had just been torn down and now she was with this entitled stranger who was asking for her to consider their needs. “It doesn’t matter if you are right or not, I can’t free you so you can either play along and choose to stay with me or I can send you back.”

As much as Penelope hated to admit it, she could see that her chances of not dying a horribly painful death were higher with this girl. Swallowing her pride would keep her alive long enough to possibly leave this situation. She wanted to fight but that same prideful mentality was what put her people in this situation in the first place. She was no good to anyone dead and Penelope was too smart to let her ego get in the way of her survival.

“Penelope.”

Josie couldn’t help but smile. “I’m Josie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GLOSSARY
> 
> princeps civitatis - "First Citizen" of Rome (essentially another title for the leader of Rome)  
> triumph - a large parade that was gifted to men who achieved a military success  
> Augustus - "majestic" (a title that was used to avoid the term 'king' but it eventually was a title tackled on to Roman Emperors)  
> patrician - top of the Roman class hierarchy, a noble  
> Augusta - the equivalent of Empress  
> pater - "father"  
> rex - THE ACTUAL TERM FOR KING
> 
> Special thanks to the poor soul that had to deal with my typos and excitement.
> 
> If you have any further questions, would like to point out any mistakes, or provide criticism, please don't hesitate to do so!


	2. sic vita est — thus is life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the positive feedback from last chapter! I'm so excited to share this story with all of you. I have many things planned for our lovely protagonists and hope I don't disappoint!
> 
> See end for clarifications.

******TWO YEARS AGO**

“ _Pater_ , you called for us?” Lizzie greeted, too excited to be in his office. Her father was a busy man and it wasn’t often that he had time for them. Both Josie and Lizzie understood it though. He wasn’t just their father, he was the _pater_ _patriae,_ the father of Rome. His duty was first and foremost to the citizens who trusted him and that duty was too important. While it wasn’t always this way, they couldn’t remember a time when he was just their father.

Alaric turned away from his balcony, a loving smile on his face as he took in his two daughters. “My beautiful girls,” he walked over to them and gave them each a kiss on the head. “Hope,” he greeted, also giving her head a kiss.

“ _Pater_ ,” Hope greeted in response. Ever since the death of her parents, Alaric had adopted her as his own and she was just as part of this family as anyone else. Alaric may have never gotten along with his brother-in-law, but the girls grew up together and he had always had a soft spot for her.

“Your _mater_ should be here shortly. But why don’t you three tell me what you’ve been up to in the meanwhile?” he suggested, taking a seat and inviting the girls to join him.

As usual, Lizzie didn’t hesitate to jump in to the conversation, telling him all about the new development in her life. Josie and Hope were content to let Lizzie talk, not having much to say themselves. Life in the palace wasn’t always the most entertaining and when they weren’t practicing their skills, they were reading or entertaining other patrician women. It could get repetitive and they didn’t need to bother their father with the boring details.

Half way through Lizzie’s story, Caroline showed up and it seemed Alaric was a bit too relieved by the break her presence had presented (he should have known better than to ask Lizzie to recount their lives). The entire table got up to greet Caroline and she easily strolled over to join them. “I hope you haven’t told them the news without me, Alaric,” she playfully scolded.

“I wouldn’t dare.” Alaric really wouldn’t. He was beyond grateful for her and while they weren’t in love in the same way he was with his first wife, the twin’s birth mom, there was no one he held more affection towards aside from his daughters. After Jo’s death, he knew he had to remarry so that the twins would have a mother to raise them and he couldn’t have picked a better choice. Caroline treated them as her own and to the twins, Caroline was their mother and no one could tell them otherwise.

“Tell us what?” Josie asked, suddenly curious. It must have been big for both of her parents to get involved. For most of their lives, her father and mother were in charge of different domains. There weren’t many decisions her mother made that her father objected to or even felt the need to consent to.

Caroline looked pointedly at Alaric. This was his decision so he was going to be the one to tell them. Of course, Alaric knew that look too well. Any backlash would be on him and him alone, even if he did have her support.

“Both you and your sister are sixteen now,” he started. As if on cue, both twins groaned. Already, they could tell where this conversation was going. They had already had it. “It’s about time you both started your own family.” And there it was.

Josie and Lizzie had been fighting this for years and their combined effort was able to thus far ward off their father’s insistence that they should get married. It didn’t matter that they had been of age for years.* They weren’t ready and they didn’t want to be separated from one another or their mother. Marriage meant the end of their freedom and their family, and those were too important to give up.

Nevertheless, before either of them could speak a word, Alaric’s hand was up, interrupting them. “I will hear no objections. I have spoiled you two long enough.” His tone was firm. He was trying to look out for them while he still could. His position was tenuous, at best, and there was no telling what would happen in the future. His life was filled with danger and he had just as many enemies and people who envied his power as he had allies and those who supported it. If he had died without arranging proper marriages for his daughters, that power would go to someone else and he dreaded to think what would happen to them if it did. They needed husbands who could and would protect them—women in Rome were too powerless not to.

“Your lives will be no different, you will just have a husband that you have to attend to.” He couldn’t see why it weighed so heavily on the girls. They weren’t going to marry just anyone. They would marry successful and rich men who would give them all the luxuries Alaric had provided thus far. Perhaps their husbands would even give them more time and care than he himself did. They weren’t children anymore and the longer he sheltered them, the more dangerous it became.

“But-“

“I have already picked your husbands and they have already agreed. There’s no going back now,” he interrupted, his tone leaving no room for disagreement.

“Why isn’t Hope being forced to marry someone?” Lizzie whined, hating the unfairness of this all.

“Hey! Don’t drag me into this!” Hope protested, shooting a glare at Lizzie.

“Hope will have her own match soon. I have her previous paternal family to deal with.” And boy were they hard to deal with. The Gods had blessed her grandfather with an endless amount of children who each had painfully strong personalities. Alaric had negotiated with kings, generals, chiefs, and politicians, but none of them were as hard to negotiate with than that family. Alaric had half a mind to throw his weight around and just force them to settle.

“Girls,” Caroline finally spoke up, feeling sorry for Alaric. “I helped your father pick them. They are both lovely gentlemen and have promised to treat you well.” Caroline hated that the girls were being forced into this position but they knew the day would come. They were groomed for it and there was no other fate that could befall them.

“Who are they?” Josie quietly asked, resigning herself to the truth. It was always going to play out this way and while Lizzie dreamed of romance and love, Josie just hoped that she could delay having to be forced into the painfully sculpted mold of a wife and mother.

“Rafael and Milton. Both of them are promising young men and well on their way to a successful political career. I intend to support them myself.” Both of them were from well-known and respected families and showed much promise for their age. They had been serving in his legions for only two years and he could see that they were honourable and kind. He specifically had his eye on Rafael however, deeming him a possible heir to the throne. While Milton had a brilliant strategical mind and would make an amazing politician, he didn’t have the personality that was required to rule the empire. It required a ruthlessness and ambition that he could see in Rafael. Now that he had agreed to marry Josie, Alaric would officially adopt him as his son and bestow him the title of _Caesar_.**

“You will both be meeting them tomorrow.”

* * *

  **PRESENT**

There were many awkward things in this world. Up until now, Penelope didn’t believe that two women creepily staring at her as she ate was one of them. Josie was at the other side of the table, Mariana at her side. With nothing else to engage their interest, Penelope figured she was now Josie’s newest toy. “It’s rude to stare,” she pointed out, not knowing it was possible to have performance anxiety while eating.

Josie blushed and awkwardly looked away. “Sorry… aside from Mariana, you’re the first woman I’ve been close to in a while.” Back in Rome, she couldn’t get away from the endless social parties of patrician women, but after a few months on the road, she would have been happy to talk to anyone that didn’t carry a sword. As much as she loved getting to experience the inner workings of the legions first-hand, it was awfully boring when she couldn’t engage in any of their activities. A proper Roman woman would never be caught working and training with the men.

“This doesn’t seem like a place you should be. How are you even here?” Penelope asked, wondering what would compel the Roman general to bring his daughter along on an admittedly dangerous trip. Frankly, she was more interested in his motivations than her’s. She already had a sense of why Josie wanted to be here. It must have been exciting to escape her guarded city and see the world. This was probably all a game to her.

“My _pater_ wanted it so no one could say otherwise.”

Penelope was about to dig deeper when they were suddenly interrupted by a man entering the tent. Josie immediately got up, “Raf,” she greeted.

Rafael wasn’t expecting someone new in their tent so he looked mildly confused by the woman who was sitting at the table. After a few seconds, he was able to recall the event his men had mentioned earlier about the things Josie had done after he had left the scene. When Josie pushed by him, he figured it was better to let father handle the situation and fled. Raf could confront armed men in battle but his own wife’s motivations confused him.

“Is this her?” he asked, approaching the table so he could get a better look at her. He wasn’t expecting his wife to take someone in but he couldn’t complain about her taking more initiative in the household. He knew that their home didn’t feel like home to her so if she wanted to change things around and introduce more staff, he had no objections.

“Yes, this is Penelope. She’s going to be my handmaiden,” she replied, taking a seat again.

Rafael’s eyes went towards Mariana who seem equally confused by the change in staff. Josie had always been rather low maintenance. When he had first married her, he asked her if she needed anything and she seemed content with just one servant helping her. He felt slightly guilty at the thought that she had wanted more and didn’t want to tell him.

Noticing Raf’s guilt, she immediately got up and took his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I was just thinking that Lucia shouldn’t be working so hard at her age. Perhaps we can get her to train Mariana to take over? I think the poor old lady has earned her freedom.” Penelope’s interest was piqued at the mention of freedom and she was curious to see what Josie meant by that.

“We could give her a nice home in the city and enough money to live a nice retirement?” Josie suggested. Lucia had served Raf’s family ever since he was born and had been keeping the household together on her own. She loved her job and Josie knew it, but she also believed that hard work should be rewarded.

Raf seemed satisfied with that answer. He leaned over and kissed her temple. “It’s your home now, Josie, you are free to do whatever you want.” He walked over to the chest and began to pull off his armour, glad to get out of it. With their immediate enemies vanquished, he was allowed a break.

Josie went over to help him and Penelope simply watched as the two interacted. She wasn’t expecting Josie to be married but she supposed it made sense. She was a powerful tool in her father’s arsenal and it would have been silly not to use it. Not only was she the daughter of the most powerful man in the known world, she was also quite beautiful and seemingly the perfect wife. Men must have fought tooth and nail to marry her.

“Will you be staying for dinner?” Josie asked, once the heavy amour was off.

“I was thinking of having it with my men, if that doesn’t bother you?” he replied.

“Definitely not! You should celebrate your victory.”

The thought of the men outside celebrating made Penelope feel sick. They were celebrating over the bodies of her people and the destruction of her home—all because Roman ego demanded conquest. They were the most hated nation that she knew and looking around her, seeing all the comforts Josie had, Penelope could see exactly why. Her one tent was more fancy than the homes of many people who worked much harder than she. The Romans were monsters.

“Why don’t you go out and celebrate as well, Mariana? I’m feeling a bit tired but I’m sure I can handle undressing myself later,” she teased.

Mariana was suspicious of her _domina’s_ intentions but she trusted her and honestly would love to have a night to enjoy herself. “Yes, _domina_.”

When Rafael and Mariana disappeared, Josie returned to her spot at the table, her attention back on Penelope as if nothing had happened. “So you’re married?” Penelope asked, though it was more of a statement than anything.

“Are you not?” They looked roughly the same age and all her friends who were her age were.

“No, I didn’t want to get married.” To Penelope, it was as simple as that. The men in her tribe were terrified of her (for good reason) and her father knew he could never force her in to anything so he let her do as she wished.

“Is that normal for your people? In Rome, the fathers hold all the power. It never mattered what I wanted.” Considering the situation, Josie was dealt a kind hand and she realized that. Poor Cornelia had to marry someone more than twice her age and Josie cringed at the thought. Her and her sister were lucky, if all the rumours of cruelty and affairs were true.

“No, it isn’t normal. I just didn’t care.” Penelope was different and no amount of discipline could change who she was. As far as she was concerned, she had one life to live and she was going to live it. She would rather die young and fighting than spend the rest of her life in chains.

(Oh, the irony of that statement now.)

Josie couldn’t help but be fascinated by the person in front of her. Penelope reminded her of her sister. Lizzie was always blunt and wasn't afraid of authority unlike Josie. Lizzie had always been stronger and the only thing that ever tamed her was her constant need for approval and love from their parents. “You remind me of my sister.”

“Please don’t say that.” It was somehow an instinctual reaction. Penelope did not want to be anything like Josie’s sister, however she was. At her core, she wasn’t a narcissistic Roman. Selfish? Yes, but Roman she was not.

Josie couldn’t help but laugh at Penelope’s scrunched up reaction. It should have been offensive but Josie thought it was cute. Frankly, as much as she loved her sister, she couldn’t blame anyone for feeling weird about the comparison. Her sister was quite… something. “When you meet my sister, try not to react like that,” Josie suggested.

“So this is really happening, huh? You’re taking me to Rome.” Penelope sighed, somewhat resigned to what was going to happen. She couldn’t fight her way out of a camp filled with thousands of highly trained legionaries. She would be dead long before she made it to the edge of the camp.

“It’s either Rome or…. a slave market.” Josie pursed her lips at the thought. It really was not a pleasant one. Admittedly, Josie never thought of the horrors of their institution that much. Slavery had always been a part of Roman life. It was a given and Josie personally had never seen the cruelties that she knew to be true. Sure there were a few slaps here and there by more demanding mistresses, but not every slave was treated poorly, certainly not the ones in her household.

“How will I ever choose?” Penelope deadpanned. It was clear that she was stuck with Josie and stuck working for the people who doomed her to this fate. At least, for now.

“There will have to be some ground rules though.”

“Great...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Roman women were deemed of age to marry at twelve, while men were deemed old enough at fourteen  
> ** The title of _Caesar_ was eventually given to individuals who were chosen to be the successors of the Emperors  
>  _Dominus_ / _Domina_ \- Master/Mistress
> 
> Can any of you tell I'm trying to subtly teach Roman history?


	3. vivere militare est — to live is to fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this another update? Shhh, don't tell anyone I'm this crazy.

By the end of the day, it became very clear to Penelope that Romans were fucking complicated. “Some” ground rules was actually an endless list of guidelines on how she was to behave around people of different status, genders, and citizenship. Penelope couldn’t possibly remember them all but long story short, she kept her mouth shut and head down. It hurt her pride but would keep her alive and well.

The last thing she needed was to be sent to the farms or other places she didn’t even want to think about.

To avoid such places, Penelope had to be smart. While Josie had claimed her and her husband seemed to give her the freedom to dictate what she wanted, at the end of the day, the man owned the house and legally she wasn’t Josie’s property. It disgusted her to think of herself that way but everyone else was going to so it would only make life harder for her if she continued to deny it: her life was in the girl’s hands.

As she sat in the tent she supposed was servants’ quarters, she could do nothing but try to juggle the thoughts that were running through her head: how had her freedom been taken away in a matter of hours and if she wasn’t free, was survival even worth it? She thought of all the stories the elders would tell them and Penelope knew she didn’t belong in _Helheim_. Taking her own life was not heroic and she hadn’t worked this hard to die so pathetically in a Roman camp. No, if Penelope was going to the halls of the dead, there had better be a gorgeous _Valkyrie_ escorting her there.

“You must be the new girl.”

Penelope turned around to face the stranger who had spoken. “Who are you?” The man definitely did not look like a legionary. He was lanky and short. She couldn’t sense a hint of warrior in him and she couldn’t help but think he looked a bit pathetic.

She definitely could take him.

“Landon. We will probably be seeing each other a lot since you work for my dominus’ wife,” he replied, taking a seat on the other cot. So he was her counterpart? Gods, could this day get any worse? If that’s who she was going to be reduced to, maybe she didn’t deserve a place in _Valhalla_. “You know, when people tell you their name, it is customary for you to tell them yours...” he awkwardly commented, not sure why she was staring at him so weirdly.

Penelope sighed, looking away. Honestly, the sight of him was exhausting. “Penelope, and if you don’t mind, I’d rather spend the night in peace.”

“Oh, luckily for you, the dominus and domina will probably be celebrating all night.”

Great, as if that was the thought she wanted to fall asleep to... Was it a crime for a slave to murder another slave?

* * *

Penelope stood back and watched in awe as Mariana worked on Josie’s hair. Penelope prided herself on the dexterity of her fingers but what that woman was doing had to be witchcraft. She moved quickly and efficiently and Penelope silently hoped Josie didn’t mind her hair being pulled in every which direction because she was definitely not going to be able to do that without a lot of trial and error.

“How was your night, Penelope?” Josie asked, connecting their eyes through the mirror.

“I met Landon.”

“He’s sweet, isn’t he? A bit annoying at first but his heart is in the right place.”

“Sure.” Penelope had no doubt that Landon was a good guy. It’s just that guys like him annoyed her immensely. People needed to win her respect and she had a feeling he wouldn’t ever win it. “I see you had a good night though,” she commented, gesturing to the mess of sheets that no doubt would soon become something Penelope had to fix.

Josie blushed and looked away, not sure how to respond to the hint of judgment in Penelope’s tone. “We all have a role to play.”

“Your gig doesn’t seem half bad.”

Josie bit her bottom lip, not sure why she was feeling so awkward about this topic in Penelope’s presence. This was normal girl talk and Penelope would soon become the closest person to her so there wasn’t anything she needed to hide. Yet...

Seeing Josie’s reaction, Penelope sighed. “Sorry. Force of habit. I’m not used to being around people who are so delicate about these things.” She surrounded herself with people just as honest as her and she preferred that much more than the politics that Josie seemed to constantly consider.

“It’s okay. It’s a bit awkward but I appreciate the honesty.” Penelope was undoubtedly blunt with her words and Josie wasn’t used to the truth being so easily presented to her (when they weren’t spoken to her by her sister). “It actually makes me trust you a bit more,” she admitted. If her parents had taught her anything, it was that the ones closest to her were the ones most capable of hurting her. She had enough problems trying to figure out the motives of her “friends”. She would rather Penelope insult her to her face than to have to guess her motives as well. “Just make sure that honesty is well hidden in front of others.”

Penelope nodded. She learned her general lesson yesterday: lie to make the Romans happy. Luckily, she was quite proficient at lying even if she didn’t do it often. “Is this what you do all day? Sit in a tent and wait for your husband to return?” Penelope asked, genuinely concerned that it would also be her life because she already considered being Landon’s counterpart rock bottom. If she was stuck yearning for the return of Josie’s husband too then she was definitely going to _Hel_.

Josie laughed, not because it was particularly funny but because it sounded so pathetic coming from Penelope’s mouth. “I wish I could tell you otherwise but a war camp doesn’t leave much room for me to do anything else. Gods forbid I lay my eyes on another man shirtless,” Josie teased. “But with you around, I’ll have a chaperone who will keep me from jumping their bones so why don’t we take a walk?”

Penelope actually managed to crack a smile at Josie’s joke. Sometimes men understood women so weirdly that it was ridiculously stupid. “Don’t worry, _domina_. I’m sure I can wrangle in that lust of yours.”

* * *

Penelope was no stranger to war camps—she had walked through many herself. But no walk had ever felt this awkward. Every time they turned a corner, the men stopped what they were doing and simply stared at them. Every time Josie tossed a smile, Penelope swore she could see the boys blush. Luckily, all staring was dissolved the moment Josie’s guards glared at them.

“Are these men going to follow us everywhere?” Penelope asked, eyeing their unnecessarily large shields and the firm hands that were resting on the hilts of their swords.

“Their sole job is to protect my family so yes,” Josie whispered back. The only time they weren’t around was when it was clear Josie needed her privacy or she was entering a space they weren’t allowed in (there weren’t many). Clearly, Penelope had to scratch off walks on her list of potential escape plans. “There usually aren’t this many. My _pater_ is just extra cautious because we are in a war zone.” Penelope blinked. Was that somehow supposed to make her feel any better?

They were just about to make another turn when one of the guards stepped in front of them. “I’m sorry, Josie. The general told me not to let you go down there,” he paused and eyed Penelope, “that’s where they are getting the prisoners that are ready for transport.”

His words immediately made Penelope’s heart sink. That’s where they were keeping her people, more specifically, that’s where they were keeping her father. Penelope may never have a chance to see him again.

Sensing Penelope’s distress, Josie took her hand and narrowed her eyes at the guard. “We’re going to go down there. I’m sure you’re competent enough to protect me.”

The guard looked at his fellow soldiers in confusion, not sure what to do in this situation.

“Oh let her go, Faustus. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her,” a voice interrupted. A man approached them, a large smile on his face. “I didn’t expect to see you around here, Josie.”

“Uncle Stefan!” Josie ran up to him and gave him a large hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Playing messenger. Your sister misses you, you know? Apparently, Hope has been, and I quote, ‘acting like an eagle landed on her head’, whatever that means.” He pitied Josie for her position between them. Both Hope and Lizzie had strong personalities and Josie was always forced to be the wall between them. Nevertheless, he was quite content with her being there because Lizzie and Hope would cause the fall of the entire Roman Empire if she wasn’t.

Josie laughed at her sister’s wording, always managing to cheer her up whenever they weren’t directed at her. “Sometimes even I can’t understand the reasoning behind her words but I’m pretty sure that means Hope’s ego has been out of control lately.”

Stefan raised his brow, “Huh. Makes sense.”

Remembering the person behind her, Josie turned back to Penelope and took her hand once again. “Can you let us down there?” she asked.

“Of course. Contrary to your sister’s belief, I do have a job besides sending her messages. I’m here to collect the prisoners and escort the ones that need to be sent to Rome back to Rome,” Stefan explained, gesturing for Josie to follow while challenging the guards to tell him otherwise.

They didn’t.

While Josie and her uncle caught up, Penelope’s eyes darted back and forth between the people who were being lined up for transport. She saw some people she recognized but if she had only one chance of talking to someone, it was going to be her father.

As they got closer to the end of the line, Penelope’s frustrations grew—the grip she had on Josie’s hand tightening. Josie looked over at her companion, a small frown on her lips. “Who are you looking for?”

“My father.”

“Who is he?” Stefan asked, figuring Josie was doing a favour for this friend of hers.

Penelope bit her lip, not sure if she should reveal the information for nothing. It was easier to slip by if she was a nobody but this was her one chance to see him again and she had to believe it was worth the risk. Besides, Josie had done nothing but reassure her that she had no intentions of hurting her and she knew exactly how the truth could be dangerous. “The chief.”

Both Stefan and Josie’s eyes widened, not expecting that answer at all. What were the chances? The fates really did love their games.

Once the shock wore off, Stefan cleared his throat, his eyes sympathetic. “I’m sorry but he’s already been sent away. He’s too important and crowds attract too much attention.”

Penelope instantly let go of Josie’s hand--knowing exactly what Stefan meant. She didn’t want his sympathy nor Josie’s. To them, his only importance was what he symbolized. He was a trophy in this disgusting conquest. So was she. Penelope couldn’t even look at Josie right now without feeling the guilt of betraying her father and herself.

“I need to get out of here.” Without another word, she began to speed away, only to be stopped by the damned guards.

“Let her go,” Josie ordered. She couldn’t do anything but helplessly watch as Penelope walked away. She knew that she was in no position to say anything. Penelope had every right to hate her.

* * *

Penelope had no idea where she was going but she needed to get away from… whatever she was trying to get away from. It was suffocating seeing the people around her, all smiles and laughter. She clenched her fists. It just wasn’t fair.

So deep in her mind, she wasn’t paying attention to what was in front of her and was unpleasantly surprised when she collided into another body. “Whoa there, where’s the fire?”

Fucking perfect.

Penelope glared at Landon causing him to hold his hands up, shrinking away a bit. “Leave me alone,” she warned.

“Sorry, I can’t do that. Not with you walking around like you’re about to murder the next person you come across. If you killed someone, I’d be dead meat as well. Our lives are now officially linked and I quite like mine.”

How was it possible for someone to be so annoying? “And if I kill you?”

“Well, I’d die either way so I’d rather take my chances with you giving me a swift death than the very long and painful one they would have planned for us if you killed someone of actual importance. Did you know they do this thing called death by a thousand cuts?”

Penelope wanted to scream. Not only was he annoyingly happy, but he was also annoyingly right. He couldn’t let a girl dream for a few seconds?

“Now why don’t we head back to our tent and you can punch me a few times to get your anger out. I’m more durable than I look.”

Landon would live to regret that offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Norse mythology, there are three places a person goes when they die: Valhalla, Folkvangr and Hel. Warriors who die on the battlefield get escorted by valkyrie to either Valhalla or Folkvangr, a kind of warrior paradise for heroes. Hel is where everyone else is sent. While the Norse version of Hel inspired the Christian understanding of Hell, Hel is much more similar to the Greek concept of Hades. It's not really positive, it's not really negative, it's just a place people went when they died. 


	4. dulcius ex asperis — sweeter after difficulties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am kind of busy this weekend so this may be the only update, but knowing me, I’ll be too crazy not to try to squeeze in another one! 
> 
> This is a more happier, feel-good chapter. 
> 
> Also, I would like to take a moment to thank the people who comment and ask questions. I believe that to teach is to learn; when I’m confronted with a question, I am forced to figure out an answer and it clarifies the topic not only for the reader but for myself.

“You actually believe you’re Diana’s gift to the world, don’t you?” Lizzie stared at the targets in front of them and couldn’t believe that she had lost to Hope.

“No, but you definitely aren’t.” Nothing could wipe that cheeky smile off of Hope’s face. She personally wasn’t that competitive but beating Lizzie was always fun. Her self-esteem was fairly high so Lizzie’s insults were more entertaining than hurtful. Besides, she gave as good as she got. 

“I wish Josie had actually set you on fire when we were five. I was so close to being rid of you,” Lizzie stated, absolutely exasperated. She missed her sister dearly. Josie was the anchor to her sanity and Hope was the wave drifting her farther and farther away from it every day.

“Aww, but then who would be around to keep your ego in check?” Hope teased. 

“Oh please, I’m the one keeping yours in check.”

They both put away their bows and took a seat by the fountain. A comfortable silence drifted between them. “I miss her too.” 

“They won the first battle. I’m sure it’ll be no time before they are back,” Lizzie explained, not sure who she was trying to convince.

“Yeah.”

“Ladies,” Milton greeted, trying to slyly slip into their moment.

“Not now, Milton,” they both ordered, waving him off. 

* * *

“Why are you walking like that?” Raf asked as Landon entered the tent.

“Penelope has quite a… everything.”

At the mention of Penelope, Josie sat up, nothing but a sheet covering her body. “How is she?” Josie hadn’t tried to talk to her after what had happened yesterday, Penelope needed her time and Josie didn’t think her presence would help in the slightest.

Landon awkwardly looked away, his eyes darting everywhere but the bed as he replied. “She’s feeling better today. I think all she needed was a good release… but not that kind of release, you know? Gods, she would kill me if I even thought it… which I didn’t!” 

Josie couldn’t help but laugh at Landon’s awkwardness. It always brightened her day and she could see the same amusement in Raf’s eyes. “Don’t worry, Lan, we both know the only person you want to relieve,” Raf joked, causing Landon to blush. His crush on Hope was cute but Josie felt bad that it would never happen. They were from two completely different worlds and her father would sooner kill Landon than let him be with Hope.

“I’m just going to leave you two to your mocking of me. I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“Wait, Landon— We’re done, sorry.” Josie gave him an apologetic smile. She looked over at Raf who was still smiling but he nodded his apology as well. “Just tell her when you see her that she doesn’t need to tend to me today. I’ll be fine without her.” Josie didn’t want to bother her. 

“Good because I kind of told her that I’d give her a behind-the-scenes tour of the camp.”

Raf raised his brow. “And what’s that?”

“Sorry, servants only. You poor and unfortunate masters will have to find some other way to navigate the camp.” 

Josie smiled and nodded. “Whatever she needs.”

* * *

 “And that is how you avoid cooking duty.” 

Penelope had to admit, once her anger had been soothed, Landon’s company wasn’t that bad. Not that she would ever tell a soul that but she was beginning to tolerate it. It kept her mind away from all the misery that was happening around them. The booze was also helping. “And it didn’t get you killed?” 

“That’s the trick! Raf and Josie would never punish you for being inherently bad at something. It’s not my fault I have two left feet for hands when it comes to cooking.” 

Penelope paused for a second, halting their walk so they could lean against a nearby fence. “Have they ever? Punished you, I mean.”

Landon looked back and shrugged. “No, not really. I mean, I’ve gotten lectured a few times but that’s because I royally screwed up in front of company. For example, once I was distracted and may have poured wine all over Josie’s adopted sister... in the middle of a party... in front of all their guests... and inappropriately tried to clean it up.” Landon turned bright red at the confession which only made Penelope’s laugh more intense. How Landon survived this long was anyone’s guess. 

“Hey! It happens to everyone, okay? The day it happens to you, I will be the one laughing,” Landon exclaimed, crossing his arms and pouting. 

“I’m pretty sure there is no girl in the world that can distract me like-“

“Hello, Penelope,” Josie suddenly greeted, causing Penelope to jump and... well, Landon was definitely laughing right now. 

Josie looked down at the spilled drink before breaking out into laughter, not at all bothered by the state of her clothes. “By the Gods, Landon, she pulled a you!” Josie knew she shouldn’t be laughing at Penelope’s expense, not when the woman was probably still mad, but it was just too funny and Landon’s laughing was awfully contagious.

Penelope was less than amused by the situation, a rare blush gracing her cheeks. That totally didn’t count. Josie had startled her. 

Landon nudged her, “you should really help her with that.”

Josie shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you were both okay. I can handle myself. Besides, that laugh was worth it.” 

“No, it was my fault, I should help you clean up,” Penelope insisted. Josie seemed shocked by the offer but nodded, leading them both back to the tent. 

Penelope was still having a hard time stomaching the situation but Josie wasn’t the one to blame for it. The way Landon spoke about Josie and the complete ease he felt whenever he mentioned her made Penelope believe that she had to be different. Loyalty and admiration like that had to be inspired by something. Josie wasn’t guilty of her father’s sins and if the last few days had taught her anything, Josie wasn’t really in charge of any decisions regarding her life. She didn’t think she could trust her quite yet but it did Penelope no good to make an enemy out of someone who seemed to want to help her.

* * *

 “ _Pater._ ” 

“ Rafael,” Alaric acknowledged though he didn’t look up from the maps in front of him. “I wanted to discuss something with you.” He beckoned for Rafael to approach. “Tomorrow, we will be packing up and heading deeper into Germanic territory. I think it’s time we sent Josie back to Rome. The conditions will only get harder from here.”

Raf looked down at the maps and nodded. The farther they went into enemy territory, the more unknowns they would be facing. Ambushes and surprises were much more likely. Plus, winter was coming soon which meant incredibly harsh conditions.

“I want you and Josie to have dinner with me tonight. You can say your goodbyes and tomorrow she will leave with the bulk of my  _praetorian_ guards .”*

Rafael straightened up. “Yes,  _Pater_.”

Alaric looked up from his maps and smirked. “Also, I’m pretty sure my other daughters would plan to assassinate me if I kept their sister away from them for much longer.” Rafael didn’t look amused one bit. Assassination jokes were way too soon. 

_Est tu, Brute?_ **

* * *

 The walk back to Josie’s tent was awkward. Neither of them really knew what to say and the stoic guards who were following them made it more impossible to want to discuss anything. Between her husband, her servants, and her guards, did Josie ever have any time to herself?

When they were finally alone, Penelope got right to work. It was easier to focus on tasks than words. She didn’t know what to say. Penelope definitely had nothing to apologize for and neither did Josie really. If anything, an apology from Josie would have been more insulting. Apologies meant very little without any action to back them up and Penelope had learned by now that Josie was not a girl of action. 

She lay the multiple sets of fabric out in the order Mariana had taught her before heading to Josie, who was already beginning to pull the outer layers off. The many layers were unnecessarily extravagant but Penelope couldn’t deny they made Josie look absolutely stunning. “Let me help you with that,” she offered, reaching for the various knots that keep the entire piece together. “Doesn’t all of this ever get heavy?”

Josie giggled, “It does but it’s not like I ever need to hold anything else. It’s nothing compared to the armour the men wear while on the field.”

Penelope supposed that was true. “They are struggling with the weight much more than you think. It’s hard to move very quickly with all of that bulk on them.” It was frankly one of their weaknesses. The legionaries won through incredible discipline and massive numbers. As one-on-one fighters, they weren’t that amazing.

“When I was younger, Hope, my adopted sister, and I used to sneak out to the yards so we could watch the soldiers train. It actually took us a while to convince  Pater that we should at least be allowed to use bows considering Minerva and Diana were amazing hunters and...”

Penelope had been listening but the moment the final layer was off, it was hard to pay attention. Josie was standing naked before her and Penelope couldn’t tear her eyes away from her. They ran over her flawless skin, measuring the soft curves that reminded Penelope exactly why she was different.

Josie was beautiful _._

When Josie noticed Penelope had gone silent, she looked down at her, a small blush coating her cheeks when she saw the intensity of Penelope’s stare. She silently wished she had a window into the woman’s thoughts. Was there something weird about her body? It made her feel self-conscious but she couldn’t get herself to say a word. The way Penelope was looking at her... it was hypnotizing. 

“Dominus— oh whoa, hey!” Landon immediately turned around, his face completely red at what he had walked in to. 

The interruption completely snapped Penelope out of her stupor and she cleared her throat, a small blush rising in her own cheeks before she walked over to the clothes that she had prepared before.

“I was just, uh, I was told to invite you for dinner at your father’s tent.” Once the message was out, Landon immediately darted away, leaving the two girls once again alone. 

Penelope couldn’t look Josie in the eyes as she helped her get ready. The height difference was a blessing because she couldn’t actually accidentally catch it. 

Desperate to get the attention off of her own body, Josie suddenly pointed at Penelope’s arm. “How did you get that?” she asked, referring to the scar line that marred Penelope’s forearm. 

Not expecting Josie to talk, it took her a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. “Oh, um, I got it while I was training with my father. It was the first day we switched from blunt swords to sharp ones. The balance threw me off and he got me.” It was a lesson Penelope definitely didn’t forget. 

“Swords? He trained with you like that?” Josie asked, her disbelief palpable. 

“Yes, it wasn’t often but it also wasn’t revolutionary for women to fight in my tribe. My father knew from the beginning that I was a troublemaker. If he couldn’t stop me from putting myself into danger, he would at least teach me how to get out of it.” A small smile graced Penelope’s lips as she thought of her father. Her mother had died having her so it was always just the two of them against the world. 

“That definitely explains why you punched that legionary the other day,” Josie mused. “He definitely wasn’t expecting it.”

Penelope smirked. “I got him good, didn’t I?”

“Maybe one day you could teach me?” 

Penelope raised her brow. “I’d rather not.”

Josie pouted, offended by Penelope’s rejection, “Why not?”

Penelope didn’t think there was a cuter pout in the world so she was more than willing to continue refusing Josie if she got that reaction out of her. “Using a sword requires a lot of moving around. You might have the arm strength but that doesn’t mean you have the leg strength. I wouldn’t want to torture your delicate body.” 

“I’m more durable than I seem.”

“Landon said the exact same thing. I made him cry with just my fists.” Penelope even held back but he still couldn’t land a hit. 

“Landon cries when he eats a delicious meal. That’s not an accomplishment,” Josie argued.

Penelope couldn’t help but laugh. It made Josie happy and she wanted to hear it more often. “We’ll try. But if your muscles are sore afterwards, I’m not rubbing them for you.” 

Josie didn’t know why but the thought of Penelope’s hands on her made her shiver. “Deal.”

* * *

“My love,” Milton greeted, pulling off his belt and tossing it against a table. He was too glad to be home.

“Where have you been?” Lizzie demanded, her irritation clear. 

“Some of the senators invited me out...”

“Milton...” Lizzie warned. There was something he was hiding. Lizzie could always tell. Milton may have learned to be a good liar in front of self-absorbed men, but he was a terrible liar in front of her. 

“Okay, okay! It was one of those lavish gentlemen-only parties. I left early though!” he explained. He left before the more inappropriate things began to happen. Unlike most men, Milton was committed to his vows. 

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Of course.” Men were so predictable and stupid. She grabbed his toga and pulled him towards her, causing him to flinch with his hands up, slightly terrified of what his wife was going to do. He loved Lizzie dearly but she was terrifying.

(Unfortunately, Milton couldn’t tell if his love was in spite of that fact or because of it.)

“Oh stop whimpering and kiss me already.” 

Milton blinked before a large grin grew on his face. “As you wish, my love!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * praetorian guards are kind of like the Ancient Roman version of the secret service. They protect the Emperor’s family, have special privileges, and can serve as law enforcement.  
> ** Julius Caesar didn’t actually say this while he was being stabbed a few dozen times but who doesn’t love a Shakespeare reference?
> 
> Fun Fact: Historians don’t know if Ancient Romans wore underwear. It existed for sports but whether they wore it underneath their clothing is debated.


	5. in aqua sanitas — in water there is health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, this chapter was difficult to write. I hope you all enjoy it though!
> 
> Special thanks to Gaby for sending me super sad Posie memes first thing in the morning as if Posie doesn't already haunt my every waking moment.

_There was once a king named Numitor. He ruled the ancient Latin city of Alba Longa. Numitor’s brother, Amulius, was jealous of his power and he plotted and schemed against him. Eventually, Amulius was able to succeed and usurped the throne from Numitor. To solidify his claim on the throne, Amulius killed all of Numitor’s male heirs and sent his only daughter, Rhea Silvia, to the temple of Vesta. She was to serve as a vestal virgin, forever charged to guard her chastity and the sacred flame._

_However, there was no denying a god and Mars had taken her despite her vows. His actions had Rhea Silvia sentenced to death, but not before she could give birth to a pair of twins: Romulus and Remus. Fearing the wrath of Mars, Amulius could not put the twins to the sword. Instead, he ordered them buried alive to allow nature to take its course. The servant who was to carry out the order had taken pity on the twins. Instead of burying them, he placed them onto the River Tiber to spare their lives._

_Tibernus, the river god, calmed the waves and carried the boys to safety. A she-wolf eventually found them and suckled them until a shepherd discovered the scene. He took them in and he and his wife raised the brothers as their own. Romulus and Remus grew up to be shepherds, like their adopted father._

_One day, the twin brothers ran into King Amulius’ shepherds. A fight broke out between them and Remus was dragged into the halls of the King, who did not recognize him. However, Romulus was able to gather a force of local shepherds to rescue his brother and in the process, King Amulius was killed. While the people of Alba Longa offered the crown to the brothers, both refused and set off to find their own city._

_The brothers could not decide on which hill they should start their city, Palantine or Aventine, so they allowed the Gods to decide. The Gods would show their favour by sending birds to their chosen hills. While Remus was sent six birds, Romulus was sent twelve. Remus claimed that the Gods had favoured him and Aventine, for they sent the birds to him first. However, Romulus believed he was the clear winner, having been granted a higher number. Neither could admit defeat._

_Romulus, without Remus’ permission, began to dig trenches and build walls over Palatine Hill. Angered by his brother’s audacity, Remus insulted him and his constructions, jumping over his walls in mockery. Romulus, incensed by his brother’s constant mockery, accidentally kills him in a fit of anger. Filled with grief, Romulus buried his brother with full funeral honours. Nevertheless, he had won and his city was built: Roma._

* * *

 Penelope stared at the great city in awe as they entered the gates. She had only ever heard stories about Rome. The descriptions of large crowds and grand buildings meant nothing to one who had never seen just how large and grand everything was.

The people crowded around them, happy to catch a glimpse of one of Augustus’ Gods blessed daughters. They had been born after a Roman triumph and the Gods gave Augustus, not one, but two children to show their favour: a set of twins, much like the great Romulus and Remus. Many stories and myths swirled around the two about what they meant and the stories only grew to give Augustus an almost godly nature himself.

He was meant to lead Rome to success.

It was a powerful message and Josie understood its value. She didn’t believe Lizzie and her were anything special—she definitely didn’t believe they were godly in any way—but it was a belief she nurtured. Her father’s legitimacy was strengthened by these stories and she would play the role the people had given her.

Penelope didn’t understand until now why Mariana was so intent on making sure Penelope learned to make Josie look perfect. She was like a demi-goddess among her people. Her elegance and pose, the way she smiled at them as if she saw each and every one of them, even Penelope was having problems remembering that Josie was human. She was _incredible_.

Their pace as they were traveling the city was much slower than the pace they had been traveling at but it didn’t bother Penelope at all. She kept her eyes on Josie with apt attention, as if she were the moon in a starless sky. It wasn’t the colourful fabric or golden jewelry that made her shine—it was all her.

As they got deeper and deeper into the city, the crowds began to disappear. It wasn’t hard to distinguish between the poor areas and the rich ones. The streets began to gain colour and the clothes on people heavier. The muck that the horses had been wading through became solid stone roads, the buildings more evenly dispersed. Penelope could even see plots of plant life, currently being maintained by people who she assumed were slaves. They were dressed nicely and made to blend into the rich environment they were in, but she could see the roughness of their posture and the tiredness in their eyes.

The horses only stopped when they made it to what Penelope hoped was the biggest building in Rome. _The imperial palace_. She couldn’t imagine any structure more large and grand than the one she was seeing right now. The walls and pillars were so high that she had to wonder if the Romans housed giants and the art so intricate that she couldn’t even focus on all the detail.

Josie _lived_ here?

When they got to the front steps, they were greeted by a small party. At the helm was a tall blonde that made Penelope wonder if she was _Freyja_ herself, at her side, a man who seemed rather insignificant in comparison. Aside from another girl who looked rather short in the sea of giants around her, they were surrounded by armed guards draped in the same insignia Josie’s own guards were in.

The moment Josie was off the horse, _Freyja_ ran down the steps and enveloped Josie in a hug. Josie giggled and hugged her tightly back. As hard as it was to believe that they were sisters, considering the stark differences between them, she could see the ease and joy in their hug. They completed each other in a way that no one could ever understand.

The shorter girl followed but allowed the twins their moment before pulling Josie into a hug of her own. The man from before walked forward and waited his turn before placing a small kiss on Josie’s cheek in greeting.

When the greetings wore off, Josie walked over to Penelope and smiled up at her. “The stable boy will take the horses from here. Come on, I want you to meet my siblings.” Penelope was confused about her place here but she quietly complied, unable to say anything. It was hard not to feel like a mortal among Gods and Penelope had a healthy ego so that was saying a lot.

“Everyone, this is my new friend, Penelope,” Josie introduced. “Penelope, this is Lizzie, Hope, and my brother-in-law, Milton.” They each smiled in turn except for Lizzie who seemed suspicious of the foreigner. Josie was usually too trusting and too nice to look out for herself so Lizzie always took Josie’s judgment of someone with a grain of salt.

Sensing a challenge, Penelope glared back, the mysticism that clouded Lizzie long gone. While Josie talked to Milton, updating him on how her husband and father were doing, Penelope and Lizzie were sizing each other up.

“Welcome back, niece.”

Josie turned around and awkwardly smiled, not expecting to see him so soon. “Uncle Malachai,” Josie greeted him. Her sisters joined in the greeting while Milton simply gave him a nod in acknowledgment.

“You’ve made it back just in time!” Kai exclaimed, walking up to his nieces and wrapping his arms around their shoulders. “I just finished preparing the last detail for the games I’m hosting this weekend. It should be a bloody masterpiece,” Kai explained, waving his hand in front of an imaginary image. “The people will love it if you both joined.”

Josie and Lizzie looked at each other, waiting for the other to respond. “We couldn’t say no to you, Uncle,” Josie replied. Gods knew that he would make a scene of it if his _beloved_ nieces didn’t attend.

“Perfect! I spent top money paying for the gladiators and slaves. I wouldn’t want you two to miss it.” He let them both go and straightened out his clothes. “Now if you’ll both excuse me, I have some _consul_ duties to see to.”

Josie’s eyes widened and she looked over at her sister only for Lizzie to nod in response. They elected him to _consul_?

When Kai was out of earshot, Lizzie spoke up. “I am so glad you’re back. Milton and I have been trying to hold him back but he’s taking advantage of _pater’s_ absence.”

Josie frowned. “Of course he would.“ _Pater_ was so busy trying to keep Kai away from controlling the legions that he couldn’t keep him contained in the Senate. “We can talk about it later though. Do you mind if I go get some rest? It’s been a long day.”

Lizzie nodded. “We are having dinner in the main hall later. We can catch up then.”

Josie nodded and hugged her sister one last time before heading off. Penelope followed without being told to. She definitely was not going to stick around longer than necessary. “It’s a bit much but I think you’ll like it around here,” Josie stated, hoping that Penelope would. It wasn’t perfect but it was not bad at all.

Penelope nodded. “Do you and your sister not like your uncle?”

Josie pursed her lips. “He’s only second to my _pater_ and you can imagine most people wouldn’t settle for second place when they are so close to the top.” He could never make a direct move against her father but that didn’t mean he could make no move.

“Doesn’t your father have an heir though?”

“Rafael is too young and has not even held a role in the Senate. The people would support someone who’s more experienced, besides, a lot of the senators don’t like the power my _pater_ has accumulated. If they can change the system back, they would jump on it.”

“Thus why you’re not a princess.”

“Exactly.” Josie was glad Penelope was catching on to the politics of her world.

“Yes, not a princess, just a goddess,” Penelope deadpanned.

Josie rolled eyes. “Shut up.” Still, she smiled at the tease. It really didn’t make sense to go about things in such a roundabout way but it was how things worked.

It didn’t take long for them to reach Josie’s room, the guards finally leaving them when they did. Penelope’s eyes widened at how grand it was. There were little decorations everywhere and the bed looked far bigger than she needed, draped with some of the finest looking material Penelope had ever seen.

“There’s a bed over there for handmaiden but you are free to join me in mine. It’s far too large for just myself. It pretty lonely actually.” Josie turned back to Mariana and smiled. “You should go back to the Dominus’ house and tell Lucia the good news. Can you also get the girls here to draw me a bath before leaving?” Mariana nodded and left the two of them, more than ready for her promotion.

“I think I’ll stick to my own bed,” Penelope stated, feeling some need to keep her distance. It seemed weird to share a bed with Josie. It wasn’t like she hadn’t shared beds before with both men and women but their ride into the city reminded her of how different they were. Josie was the _domina_ of the house and everything around them reminded Penelope of that. She hated that she didn’t feel worthy.

Josie frowned a bit at Penelope’s decision but nodded. “It’s been a long trip. I figured we can have a bath and then rest for a few hours before dinner.”

Penelope didn’t see any reason to complain though now that they were completely alone with nothing for her to do, the silence between them was awkward. “So aside from attending to you, is there anything else I should be doing?”

“No. You just have to deal with me. All of the other chores like cleaning and cooking are done by other slaves in the household,” Josie explained.

 _Other slaves._ It came out so easily to Josie but was like a punch in the gut to Penelope. It was easy to pretend otherwise when in the presence of only Josie and people who largely ignored her, but now that she was at a place where image mattered more than anything else, she knew that she had a role to play—a role she had no choice in.

“Your bath is ready, _domina_ ,” a girl announced with a small bow before leaving.

* * *

Surprisingly, Josie and Penelope were able to walk alone to the baths. They bypassed the larger communal one and entered a smaller room. The bath they were going to still looked like it could fit multiple people but it at least didn’t look like it could fit an entire party.

Penelope helped Josie get undressed, doing her utmost best not to stare this time, and was about to leave when Josie grabbed her hand. “You clearly need a lesson in Roman bathing practices,” Josie teased. Not at all shy about her naked state in this environment, she walked over to the table containing a few items. “This pot contains oils that we use to help remove the dirt from our bodies.” She gestured for Penelope to come over. “One of your jobs is to oil me up. You don’t need to do it this time but it’s not every day I’m alone when bathing.”

Penelope blinked. The Romans had an entire ritual for bathing? Josie was about to reach into the pot when Penelope stopped her. If this was something that was going to be happening in public, Penelope knew she had to practice. It wasn’t necessarily the oiling part that was hard; the part that worried her was the part where she had to touch Josie without her face bursting into flames.

Penelope had a feeling she was not going to like bath times from now on. Not only would she be forced to stare at Josie’s bare body as she prepares her, but she would also be forced to touch it. It was way too intimate for someone like her. It felt sinfully wrong.

She dipped her hand into the pot and reached for Josie’s arm, beginning the process with a place that was innocent enough. Without hurting Josie, Penelope did her best to rush through the process while trying very hard not to focus on how soft Josie’s skin was and how Josie would occasionally shiver at her touch.

Josie was no stranger to public baths and she usually wasn’t shy at all about her body but she felt embarrassed about what she was feeling. Despite the rushed pace, Penelope was gentle and teasing. It was worse when Penelope would occasionally brush upon one of Josie’s more sensitive spots and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from freaking out even though her body naturally reacted anyway.

As much as Penelope wanted to get this over with, her fast pace meant that she was done the less intrusive parts too fast. When faced with Josie’s breasts, Penelope could feel her red face get even redder. The only reason Josie didn’t notice was because she was having the same reaction except worse considering she was actually being touched.

Penelope’s hands gently followed the curves of Josie’s body, almost afraid that her touch would leave bruises on her skin. When she reached Josie’s thighs, they both held their breath and Josie did her best not to let her legs shake. Why was she reacting like this? People have been doing this for her entire life. Why now and why with someone she didn’t want to scare away?

“Done!” Penelope proclaimed, removing her hands as quickly as humanly (perhaps even godly) possible.

Josie cleared her throat, her face still very red. “Um, the next part is...” she looked at the _strigil_ on the table. It was a small metal tool shaped like a hook with a flat side. “You have to use that tool to scrape off the oil and dirt.”

Oh, so their mutual mortification wasn’t done yet?

Unfortunately for both of them, the second part went just as poorly as the first except Penelope not only had to be careful and slower but she also had to be completely focused on Josie’s body. Every inch, spot, and curve was being slowly etched into her muscle memory and Penelope didn’t think she’d had ever studied someone’s body in such detail. This was her life now and Penelope had many,  _many_ objections to it.

When she was done, she dropped the tool on the table and was about to run away before Josie stopped her again. Was Penelope ever going to be able to escape? With a flushed face and eyes unable to meet Penelope’s, Josie said, “Join me.”

Too stunned and disoriented, Penelope couldn’t properly process Josie’s offer before she was already helping her remove her tunic. Josie shouldn’t have been surprised but Penelope’s body was much more sun-kissed and sculpted than her own. Although her tight muscles would have been strange to the men of Rome, Josie couldn’t help but find them enticing. Then again, she supposed women were made differently. Muscles were attractive to her on men so why not women as well? “Would you like some help with the rest?”

“No!” Penelope immediately responded. She was already dying. She was sure that if Josie returned the favour, she wouldn’t even make it to the afterworld; there would be nothing left of her.

Not wanting to seem like she was gazing upon a possession (and also thankful for Penelope’s rejection because Josie felt like she was melting), Josie nodded and quickly turned away before entering the pool.

Penelope rushed through her own body, not enjoying her nakedness in this situation. She felt exposed and she didn't want Josie to see this side of her. She entered the pool as quickly as possible and sat as far away from Josie as was polite, not once looking her way. She couldn’t. The thoughts Josie’s body brought to her mind were highly unwanted—especially now that she knew every inch and how it felt.

The bath went by in absolute silence, with neither of them making eye contact or contact anywhere remotely near where the other sat. When the silence and heat became too unbearable, Penelope got up, surprising Josie and giving her quite the view from below. Josie immediately looked away, her face probably never going to be able to return to its usual pale tone.

“I’m going to... uh... I’m just going to—“ What could she do? She didn’t even know the way back.

“We should, um, definitely get dressed. Dinner will probably be soon and I want to have a nap before then.”

Thankful for the excuse Josie provided, Penelope immediately pulled her clothes back on. Josie did the same, pulling on her own tunic, which was all she needed for bed really.

The bedroom was silent as both women went to their respective beds with every intention of falling asleep... except their minds were preoccupied by thoughts of one another.

* * *

“Is it done?”

The servant looked up at his master and smirked. “They know what they have to do, _consul_.”

“Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like all myths and folklore, the story of Romulus and Remus has different variations. I choose the easiest to explain.
> 
> Freyja - a Norse Goddess  
> Consul - the highest office in Rome (until Augustus created the proconsulship)
> 
> Ancient Roman bath rituals are INTENSE. Baths would take hours because it became such a social thing, with sports, reading, multiple rooms, each with a different step in the process... This chapter was me trying to simplify the routine for Posie's sake.
> 
> Also... DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN.


	6. semper fidelis — always faithful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! 
> 
> Forgive me if my writing gets a bit messy. I am beginning to get too lazy to edit. I try but these chapters are starting to feel too long for me to want to re-read them more than once. It's like how people feel when they listen to their own voice and go "eww, I sound like that?"
> 
> As always, thank you for the support!

Penelope had spent less than a day in Rome and she was already overwhelmed by the absolute excess that the upper class lived in. She could not imagine anything more excessive than what she was currently witnessing in front of her. A musician stood by the side of the scene, playing his lyre with absolute focus, while Josie and her family lay on their sides around the dinner table. They conversed as they slowly ate, servants running back and forth and fetching whatever they needed or wanted. Wine glasses remained full and they never had to lift more than a hand the entire meal.

The only thing that was acceptable about this moment was that they had completely forgotten about her. Penelope was more than glad to remain in the background, too focused on observing the people before her. Whatever modesty Josie had shown Penelope before had flown out the window by this moment. After all, not even having to sit while eating? That was a new level of luxury and entitlement Penelope had never faced before.

“Did you get to see any of the fighting?” Hope suddenly asked, the conversation switching from Lizzie and Hope’s lives to Josie’s.

“ _Pater_ kept me far away from battle. I was barely able to watch the men train, let alone fight,” Josie explained. She looked over at Penelope, realizing that perhaps she had gotten a glimpse of it all. “Were you in the battle?” she asked, casting everyone’s eyes on Penelope.

“No, I was ordered to take care of the women and children,” Penelope replied, feeling not at all comfortable about the topic at hand. While Josie’s company seemed to be having a great time recounting Rome’s victory, Penelope was much less excited.

Too preoccupied with her family, Josie had forgotten to consider Penelope’s feelings and realized how insensitive her question was. She tried to apologize with her eyes but Penelope refused to look at her.

“Regardless, it must have felt great,” Milton added, misinterpreting the sudden look on Josie’s face as regret for missing out on the glory. All Josie could do was nod back at him, her lips pressed into a line. She shouldn’t have brought Penelope here. That was a mistake.

“I’m sure it did. Her handsome commander husband was probably extra happy that night,” Hope teased, causing Josie to immediately blush and toss a grape at Hope. “Hey! I’m just saying. I’m sure he loved having you there to relieve his stress.”

“I thought that was what Landon was for,” Lizzie interjected, never missing a chance to rile up Hope.

Hope narrowed her eyes at Lizzie, “Rafael wouldn’t use him like that.”

“I’m sure with a little olive oil, Landon is quite happy to be used.” Instead of a simple grape, an entire fig was thrown at Lizzie’s face, the blonde only managing to narrowly dodge it. “What? The men get lonely out there, you can’t blame them.” She looked over at her husband, raising her brow. “Am I wrong?”

Milton shrugged. “It probably happens but that’s something the legionaries like to keep to themselves.” Milton wasn’t savvy to the private lives of the legions. He kept to himself mostly when he was serving.

Penelope wasn’t sure which conversation was more uncomfortable: their discussion of the battle or the discussion they were having right now about the illicit things legionaries did in their spare time. It was unheard of where she was from and the ease and public nature in which they were discussing it was foreign to her. Romans really were an entirely different type of people, weren’t they?

“Can we stop talking about the war now? I’m kind of tired of it after being with _pater_ for so long,” Josie pleaded, needing this conversation anywhere else. She was just as uncomfortable as Penelope on this front.

“Fine. Did you hear that…”

Penelope tuned herself out of the conversation. They began gossiping about people she didn’t know who had too many similar names to one another. It was impossible to keep up without being able to place a face to their names. She was just glad that the previous conversations were over and she was waiting for the moment when this entire meal was over.

Unfortunately, Penelope didn’t get her wish because after the actual dinner, _comissatio_ came next. Penelope watched with slightly judgmental eyes as the people before her were seemingly drinking themselves silly. Penelope had never seen so much wine being consumed and the Roman appetite for it somewhat scared her. Even Josie, who was usually very poised and in control had let herself loose with her family and Penelope found herself doubting her once again. Was this the real Josie? Because right now she couldn’t tell her apart from the others.

Penelope lost track of time but it was dark by the time they were returning to Josie’s room. She did her best to keep Josie balanced but their height difference made it hard and Josie was very inebriated. “Do you always drink this much?”

Josie blinked, her intoxicated mind taking a few seconds to understand Penelope before being able to respond. “No… sometimes… it really depends.” Tonight was a rare celebratory night for her return and she was in the comfort of her own home. She trusted her company and allowed herself to relax. “Am I bad?” Josie suddenly pouted, wondering if she upset Penelope.

“No. I just didn’t expect to see this side of you.”

“You’ve seen basically everything else,” Josie retorted, a little giggle following her not very funny joke.

Penelope sighed. “I have.” She was a bit of a drinker herself but that didn’t mean it was fun to be in the company of a drunk while completely sober. Still, despite the range of emotions that were swirling through her, she couldn’t be mean to Josie. There was something about her that absolutely made it impossible for Penelope. She hoped that whatever it was, she would get over it. Her life was now hard enough without having this nagging worry for Josie’s wellbeing. Maybe because, in some twisted way, Penelope believed she owed her her life? Or maybe she was just a disaster and letting her attraction for the girl blind her logic.

“I’m sorry,” Josie suddenly said as Penelope helped her get into bed.

“About what?” Penelope asked, too exasperated right now to deal with whatever apology Josie had coming up. She already had too much to think about and didn’t want to spend any of her brainpower on trying to justify the situation to Josie because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Penelope had to remember that she was the one being wronged here.

“For me. I must be annoying.”

Penelope looked up and met Josie’s eyes. “You are many things, Josie, but annoying is not one of them.” A bit ignorant and spoiled perhaps, but not annoying. No, that award belonged to Lizzie.

“Okay.” Josie took Penelope’s word for it and the moment she was comfortably tucked in, sleep took over. Penelope was left with a pink-faced princess that looked too cute and the confusion she felt at this entire situation.

That was a mental battle for some other time.

* * *

Despite the surprisingly comfortable bed, Penelope didn’t get much sleep. She was in a completely different environment and a dangerous one at that. The moment the sun was up, Penelope left her bed and walked over to the balcony. Josie’s home was atop the hill and she was able to overlook most of the city. People were already bustling about and Penelope yearned for the simplicity of her old life back. She wanted to not have to think about anyone else and what they thought of her. She didn’t want to feel like her life was constantly on the line. And she definitely didn’t want to deal with whatever mess of emotions she was having for Josie.

The door suddenly burst open behind her and Penelope narrowed her eyes at the blonde intruder. The woman paid no mind to the random girl at the balcony and took a seat at the edge of the bed. “Wake up, sweetheart.” She gently nudged Josie, causing the girl to stir. Naturally, Josie whined at being disturbed, her head still pounding from the wine from last night. “Now that’s not the way to greet your _mater_ ,” the woman chastised.

The moment Josie was able to comprehend what was happening, she shot right up and immediately gave Caroline a hug. “ _Mater_!” Penelope was mildly surprised that this woman was Josie’s mother. They looked nothing alike and the woman couldn’t have been old enough to have had the twins. Still, there was no denying the affection the two held for one another.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to welcome you back. I was out of the city.” Caroline placed a small kiss on her daughter’s head. They had only been separated for a few months but she missed her dearly. With both her girls married, Caroline didn’t see them as much and when Alaric told her he was taking Josie on the campaign, Caroline could only imagine all the horrible dangers Josie could have possibly been in.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Josie responded.

“I can see you’ve had quite a night,” Caroline teased, seeing the absolute exhaustion in her daughter’s eyes. “I will let you go back to sleep now. I just couldn’t wait to see you again.”

Josie smiled and nodded. It was definitely too early for her to be awake. Caroline smiled affectionately at her daughter and gave her one last kiss before getting up. She was about to leave when she noticed Penelope. “Are you my daughter’s new handmaiden?” she asked. It was rare that Josie chose staff for herself so there had to be something special about her. Nevertheless, now was not the time to ask.

“Yes, domina,” Penelope replied.“Josie probably won’t be up for another few hours. Why don’t you go get yourself some breakfast?” Caroline looked back at her daughter and smiled. “Josie loves her sleep.”

Penelope nodded, “Yes, domina.”

Caroline nodded and left the room.

Penelope looked over at Josie, seeing that she was already passed out, she decided to take Caroline’s advice.

* * *

The halls were relatively deserted as Penelope roamed them, not really sure where she was supposed to be heading. Since her arrival, she hadn’t had much time to explore the large estate and now that she thought about it, it was probably dangerous for her to do it alone. What if she ended up somewhere she shouldn’t have been?

Luckily, she ran into a few other servants that were more than happy to help her out. They gave her a quick tour before ending up in the kitchen for breakfast. For the most part, Penelope kept to herself, simply observing the people around her. They chatted, gossiped, and made plans. It didn’t seem like much more than a communal meal. Penelope was expecting a lot more misery but they almost seemed normal.

“Is something wrong?” Emma asked, noticing that Penelope was being awfully quiet. Emma had a broad idea of who Penelope was but Mariana wasn’t able to say much in the little time she was here. Regardless, it was her job to keep this household afloat and integrating Penelope was essential to that endeavour.

“No,” Penelope replied. She wasn’t sure how to describe how she was feeling. So far, life didn’t seem that hard. In fact, she probably did more manual labour when she was back home, having to help her father with the house chores while also squeezing in her training. It almost seemed too easy here and it bothered her; how could life be this… casual when none of them were their own person?

“You get used to it,” Emma started, as if reading her mind. “Treat it like a job. You might not be able to leave but if you asked anyone here, they wouldn’t want to leave.”

Penelope raised her brow, “Why not?”

“We’re fed, housed, and taken care of. It’s more than what some free citizens get in Rome,” Emma explained. “Most of us were born into this life and even the ones who weren’t don’t usually have anywhere to go. Serving a rich household is probably the best position a slave can get, so long as your masters are kind.”

Admittedly, Josie had been nothing but kind—more kind than she expected. “Landon told me he was born into this, were you as well?”

Emma shook her head. “Pirates.” In many ways, Emma could relate to Penelope. She was no older than Penelope was when she was taken from her home. It had been so long ago that she forgot what it even meant to be free and frankly it was probably for the best. “When I was brought here, I didn’t even know the language. Many masters don’t take kindly to a slave who can’t understand them.”

Penelope couldn’t even imagine what it would have been like to be thrown into a completely different environment. While Rome was new to her, she had heard stories and Roman merchants had often interacted with her tribe. While they were a strange people, Penelope at least began with a general understanding of them.

“The dominus noticed me while I was serving one of his friends. Instead of viewing my language barrier as an impediment, he bought me and asked me to help him communicate with my people. If you have special skills, someone will eventually notice and they will value it.”

Penelope nodded. It made sense. While their situations were slightly different, one factor remained the same: they were dealt poor lots in life and there was nothing they could do about it. “I think Josie misjudged my skills. I’m kind of useless to her.”

“I don’t think so,” Emma replied, a small smile gracing her lips. “If she really wanted a handmaiden, any of the girls here would have jumped at the opportunity.”

“Then what am I to her?” Penelope asked, curious to see what Emma’s assessment of the situation was.

“Someone who doesn’t look at her and sees her as someone to use or fear.” It was pretty simple in Emma’s mind. She watched Josie grow up and liked to think she knew the kind of person she was. Josie was quiet and despite being surrounded by people, Emma didn’t think there was anyone more lonely in all of Rome. While Lizzie embraced her power and commanded her social circle, Josie was too comfortable hiding behind her sister and the roles people made for her. “I think she wanted someone to see her without being clouded by the majesty that surrounds her. She would never be able to find that in Rome.”

Penelope couldn’t help but scoff. “A friend? You think she wants a friend?”

Emma shrugged before breaking into a smile. “I think so but what do I know?”

* * *

 “Penelope?” Josie had barely opened her eyes when she heard the door open and was only able to make out a blur by it.

“Good afternoon,” Penelope greeted. She walked over to Josie and sat next to her.

“What happened last night?” Josie’s head was still hurting and she kind of wished she was a goddess so that she could make Apollo take away the damn sun that was shining in her eyes.

“You got incredibly drunk.”

“I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?”

“I think you told Milton that he should petition the Senate to make rabbit hunting illegal but he was equally drunk and probably won’t remember that.”

“That’s a shame, I have pretty good ideas when I’m drunk,” Josie joked.

Penelope couldn’t help but smile. “Come on, let's get you out of bed. Any longer and I think you would melt into that mattress and I’d be accused of kidnapping you.”

“I’d make a pretty good captive.”

“I don’t doubt it but let's not entertain that thought. You wouldn’t want me getting ideas.”

“I guess not.”

It took a while for Penelope to figure out how to properly do Josie’s hair but she got it eventually without the girl complaining one bit. Penelope told Josie about her mother’s visit and what she had been up to while Josie was asleep. “Emma was really nice.”

“Did you meet Pedro?” Josie asked.

“No, who’s he?” She definitely couldn’t recall that name.

“He’s my half-brother and her son. He’s also Lizzie’s personal counselor even though he’s only eight.”

Penelope paused, needing a few minutes to process the information she had just been given. “So your father and…?”

Josie nodded. “My pater and mater have never been in love. They respect one another and love one another as family but it was a marriage of convenience.” Much like her own.

“So does your mom…?” Penelope didn’t know if she was allowed to say it out loud.

“Sometimes. It’s a secret though. Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t…” It was definitely one Hel of a secret to be trusted with. The mother of Rome wasn’t as faithful to her husband as people thought. “Are Roman marriages usually this… open?” Penelope asked, genuinely curious now that it seemed like things were falling out of place when they were only beginning to fall into them.

“For the rich? Yes. It’s not something people talk about but men are men. None of us really expect them to be faithful when they have money to spend on slaves and prostitutes. Sometimes it’s even easier for a wife to redirect her husband’s attention to a slave if she doesn’t want to deal with him.”

“And the women?”

“It doesn’t happen as often because of the chance of pregnancy… but it happens. One of the local gladiator schools have rented them out to my friends.”

“Have you ever…?”

Josie’s eyes widened. “No!” She blushed at the thought. It had been offered to her but she was the last person that could afford an illegitimate pregnancy. With her husband constantly outside of Rome, there was no chance they could even fake it.

Penelope laughed. “You don’t have to panic, I’m just wondering whether I should be aware of any extracurriculars my domina takes part in.”

Josie’s blush deepened at Penelope’s teasing. “Until Rafael gets back, the only people that will be in my room at night are me and you.”

“Sounds good to me.” Penelope leaned down so that their eyes could meet through the mirror, her signature smirk in place. Penelope’s arrogance only served to make Josie’s embarrassment worse and Penelope knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comissatio - not only did Romans drink wine throughout their dinner, they had an after dinner wine party
> 
> Fun Fact: In Ancient Rome, rich people didn't usually have breakfast. Can you imagine being so rich that you don't even have to wake up in the morning?
> 
> I realize that there are times when I want to give updates on my progress or chat about my ideas but have no way to do the update. Anyone care to follow my tumblr so we can talk? I'm at danystormborntargaryen.


	7. hostis humani generis — enemy of the human race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: MILD HOMOPHOBIA  
> There is a general belief during this time that penile penetration is the end all of sex so please forgive me

The next few days had gone by relatively uneventfully. Penelope was beginning to learn what it meant to be Josie’s handmaiden on a day-to-day basis and they had been successfully able to avoid public bathing. With a routine in place, it was a lot easier to control the conflicting thoughts in her head and she simply allowed herself to enjoy Josie’s company.

(Which she was beginning to like way too much.)

Josie would spend afternoons with her sisters and their friends gossiping, while Penelope would watch and take mental notes. She was glad she didn’t have to talk because there was such a thing as oversharing and Penelope wasn’t much of a sharer to begin with. She liked keeping her secrets to herself. After the sessions, Josie would talk to Penelope about them and explain what each weird political rumour meant and Penelope was always able to impress Josie regarding the things she saw that Josie didn’t notice herself.

She was happy with the routine.

However, today was not a routine day.

Josie got up earlier and had to take her bath earlier than usual. Her uncle was hosting gladiatorial games and she was expected to attend. While Josie and Penelope usually picked bath times that allowed them to bathe in private, today wasn’t one of those days.

By the time they arrived, Hope and Lizzie were already there, chatting amongst themselves while surprisingly not fighting the urge to drown the other. Penelope was definitely not ready for what she saw but she at least had the luxury of focusing on Josie. At this point, she really did have the girl’s body memorized and the process went much smoother. She still blushed like crazy and had to fight every urge to touch Josie in different ways, but she resisted.

“Are you okay, Jo?” Lizzie asked, confused by how red her sister was. “You look sick.”

Josie immediately shook her head. “No! I’m just, um, it’s just really warm in here.” Penelope looked up at Josie, fairly confident that she was lying. She wasn’t going to question it though. (Mostly because Penelope didn’t think she could physically speak right now.)

“So what do you think is going to happen today?” Hope asked.

“He can’t do much in public. He’s probably just trying to work up the crowds. Did you hear that there are going to be bears?” Lizzie replied, her eyes wide. Uncle Kai was really pulling all the strings to make this event memorable.

“I hate those battles. No one deserves to die like that and the poor animals…” Josie frowned at the thought of what was to come. Gladiatorial games were never her favourite. While it was hard not to get worked up along with the crowds, it was a bloody affair and a waste of life.

When Penelope finished, Josie immediately got into the water. Thankfully, Penelope didn’t have to join them. It was fine with just her and Josie but the last thing she wanted to do was get naked with and around Lizzie.

“Maybe we can just accidentally push him down into the pit,” Lizzie suggested, though she knew it wasn’t actually a possibility.

Both Hope and Josie laughed at the idea. “If only.”

* * *

“Nieces!” Kai greeted, gesturing for them to join him in the main box. They could barely hear him over the screaming of the crowds but they knew the routine well enough to know exactly where they were going to be seated.

Penelope took a seat behind Josie. While Josie tried her best to describe what these games entailed, her descriptions paled in comparison to the actual thing. Penelope had never seen so many people packed into one structure and she couldn’t believe just how large the structure was. It was like everyone in Rome was in attendance and every single one of them was thirsting for blood—the blood of slaves and animals.

When Kai stood up, the crowd went silent (or as silent as this kind of crowd could be). “Welcome, my fellow citizens!” The crowd cheered in response, showing their excitement for their host. “Today you will be witness to the greatest game that Rome will ever see!” The crowd cheered again, bringing a very large smile to Kai’s face. Every Roman politician lived for these moments. “But I shall let it speak for itself.” He raised his hand and the gates poured open, growls erupting from the entrances to the pit.

Whatever Penelope was witnessing, she was confident it was not a game. Animals ripped into unarmed humans and armed humans would fight back just to be torn apart. The Romans told stories through horrors; a god punishing the man that stole fire by having an eagle consume his liver. The slave screamed as the eagle dug into his gut and Penelope wished she had a bow and arrow to end his pain. Women were also tossed into the pit in various states of undress, sometimes even tied to stakes, and Penelope had to look away as the brutality continued. Josie was right when she said no one deserved this.

Penelope’s eyes ran over the smiling faces around her. This was their entertainment. The crowd cheered as people died and before the gladiators even made it to the stage, the pit was already stained red. This wasn’t a game. This was a publicized mass execution.

When the gladiators finally made it to the stage, they would hype the crowd. Bets were placed on the champions and those who won battles earned acclaim. The crowds would chant their name and encourage their brutality. The only thing that saved them was their worth. Gladiators were too precious to kill. The other slaves and prisoners, however? They were perfect for the slaughter.

She didn’t know how long the massacre continued but by the time it ended, she was pale and sick to her stomach. How close was she to that fate? How little did life mean to these monsters? When Josie saw Penelope’s face, she immediately reached out to help her. Penelope could barely stand and she didn’t have the power to resist. Josie’s hands felt just as stained as the pit and Penelope didn’t know what to do.

“Squeamish, is she?” Kai spoke, finally noticing the new girl hanging around his niece. He was more interested in the gentle way his niece was holding her and the worry in her eyes. “Don’t worry, sweetie, as long as you don’t try to escape or do anything equally stupid, you won’t get thrown in there.” The thought made Penelope tense, a feeling of panic slowly rising in her chest. Kai could see it in her eyes and it only excited him further.

“Excuse me, Uncle.” Josie didn’t wait for a response before pulling Penelope away. It was a bad idea to bring her along. It had become so commonplace and Josie had been watching them since she was a kid so she couldn’t be phased by it anymore. But for someone who had never witnessed a game, it was too much.

When they were a distance away, Josie stopped and cupped Penelope’s face, forcing her to look at her. “I would never let that happen to you. Do you hear me? Never.” Penelope wanted to believe her, she really did, but it became clear to her that Josie’s world considered her less than human. What could Josie really do?

Her thoughts were halted when she felt Josie’s arms around her. She held her tight and protectively, her hand running through Penelope’s hair as she tried to calm her down. “Just breathe,” she ordered, stroking her to the rhythm of her own breathing. “You’re safe.” Josie needed Penelope to understand that. She would never hurt her nor would she let anyone else hurt her either.

Penelope slumped against Josie’s body, needing the support and comfort Josie was providing. Josie was different. Penelope knew that. She was different. It was the one thing Penelope _needed_ to believe. She closed her eyes and concentrated on Josie’s touch, willing herself to breathe along with Josie. Josie stood there silently, willing to wait as long as she needed to in order for Penelope to calm down. She couldn’t bear to see her like this. The sight was squeezing at her heart and Josie couldn’t care less about the people that walked passed them, bewildered by what was going on.

When Penelope was finally able to calm down, she pulled away, but only so that she could meet Josie’s eyes. “Thank you.” She meant it. She really did. No matter how many times Penelope doubted her, Josie was always there to prove her wrong. As grateful as she was, she almost wished that Josie would stop; that she would just leave her alone to her own misery so that she couldn’t fuck things up. If Josie didn’t stop, things would only get more complicated.

Because Penelope couldn’t deny it anymore; she was falling for Josie.

(And she couldn’t imagine anything more painful.)

* * *

“You should stay here. I don’t want you to have to go with me and relive...” Josie sighed, wishing she didn’t have to go to the afterparty that her uncle was hosting. It would be rude and disrespectful to deny his invitation so Josie had to go but Penelope didn’t. She wanted to spare her from everything. She liked their little bubble and hated when her reality would pop it—the sound of its destruction only getting louder and louder.

“No,” Penelope paused, feeling awfully small at the moment. “I don’t want to be alone.” She needed Josie right now. She carried with her Penelope’s sense of security and after what had happened, Penelope didn’t want to let go.

(But she knew she should.)

“Okay... but stay close to me.” Josie wasn’t going to let Penelope out of her sight. The party would be loud and crowded and Josie didn’t want anything making Penelope feel worse. She took her hand and she didn’t let go, even after they arrived at her uncle’s home.

Everyone was gathered in the atrium and the moment Josie entered, all eyes were on her. The senators gave her a respectful nod in acknowledgement and Josie did the same. Luckily, this wasn’t her party to entertain so it was not at all unusual if she decided to sit in the corner and only passively interact. Her sisters soon joined her but sensing her reluctance to engage, they kept the conversation up between themselves, giving Josie the cover she needed to mentally check out of the party.

“My esteemed friends,” Kai started, “I give you our champions!” He directed the party's eyes towards the entrance where gladiators began to flood into the hall. They were in nothing but loincloths and the party immediately began to entertain themselves with the slaves. They were fascinated by them as if they were foreign animals to be prodded, and the gladiators did their best to entertain. Their lives depended on it.

“My beloved nieces,” Kai greeted. “This is Maximus. He has been ordered to serve your _every_ need tonight.” Kai gave the girls a wink before heading off, leaving the gladiator behind.

Lizzie looked up at him, fairly unamused. “You’re free to go, Maximus, we won’t need you,” she quickly dismissed. There was no way they were going to  _need_ a gladiator and even if they were, it definitely was not going to be around Uncle Kai.

“I’m sorry, domina. I’ve been told not to leave your side until the end of the party.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. A spy. “Stay if you must but silently and out of the way.”

The gladiator nodded and did as he was told, standing stiffly by the girls who by now knew better than to talk about anything worthwhile.

Not that they could say anything when the people around them began to cheer. The middle of the atrium was cleared out and a line of scantily clad women appeared. “Shh, don’t tell the public but I’ve saved the best for last,” Kai joked. The women were then passed blunt swords and light shields.

“Female gladiators?” Hope questioned.

“Is he serious?” Lizzie’s question was quickly answered when the sounds of clashing swords rang around the room. The crowd cheered, much more amused by this entertainment than the musicians on the other corner.

The fights weren’t as bloody and violent as the real battles but it didn’t make it any less real. The women fought each other with just as much skill and finesse as the men and even their male counterparts cheered them on. Gladiatorial battles were an honour—or at least the Romans had conditioned them to view it as one.

Kai returned to his seat, which was unfortunately beside the girls, and leaned over to his nieces. “If Maximus doesn’t suit your tastes, you’re free to take one of them,” he pointed at the women in the centre. “It’s not being unfaithful if it’s not with another penis,” he teased.

While Hope and Lizzie rolled their eyes, he noticed that Josie wasn’t paying any attention at all. Her eyes were trained on her new slave girl, causing Kai to laugh. “Oh, never mind, it seems like Josie already knows that.”

Josie’s eyes snapped towards him, her blush betraying her anger. “That’s not—she’s not—“

“I’m just teasing you, Josie. I know you aren’t like the rest of us. You’re too perfect to engage in such debauchery.” Sarcasm was dripping from Kai’s voice. While this event was purely to entertain the masses, Kai didn’t see why he couldn’t entertain himself. Learning something new about his niece, something this scandalous was only the cherry on top.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gladiatorial games were actually really, really bad. Romanticizing them is not my style.


	8. multa paucis — say much in few words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER UPDATE...WHATTT?
> 
> This was... quite a chapter. It was originally part of the previous chapter but I wanted it to be more easily skipped.
> 
> Please forgive any typos. I was not strong enough to re-read this chapter. 
> 
> WARNING:  
> M FOR MATURE AND EXPLICIT (completely skippable, just read the end notes)

When Josie and Penelope finally got back to her room, they were both exhausted. Josie stayed for as long as she was politely required to but the moment people started to leave, she was among them. The rest of the night went by with little words from either of them. Penelope felt empty and blank while Josie couldn’t think of anything with how worried she was for Penelope.

“Is that true?” Penelope asked. She had been empty except for one moment in the entire conversation. That one moment made her heart pick up but also painfully squeezed it at the same time.

“Is what true?”

“That it’s not adultery?”

It took a few seconds for Josie to recall what Penelope was talking about but when she did remember, she averted her eyes and blushed. “I don’t know...why?” When Josie looked up again, she was met with the most intense gaze. Penelope was staring at her and she could see the conflict behind her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

 _Everything_. That was what Penelope wanted to say. Everything about this situation was wrong. Josie was married. Penelope was her possession. Josie had a reputation to protect and Penelope had her life. Everything was wrong and yet Penelope feared that it could get worse. But how much worse could it get? Hadn’t she already hit rock bottom? She was already on the ground so why was she scared of going under it?

“Penelo—“ before Josie could finish, she felt lips against her own. Stunned, her eyes widened and she fell back, hitting the wall behind her. She was utterly confused by what was going on but when she closed her eyes and stopped thinking, all she could do was _feel_. Penelope’s lips were so soft against her own, her body pressed against her with such a warmth that Josie’s never felt before.

Instinctually, she began to respond to Penelope’s kiss, their lips dancing in a non-choreographed but undoubtedly perfect mess. Tongues explored between hot breaths and the heat from their cheeks flooded straight down to their core. Although their bodies felt foreign to the touch, their hands quickly found a home on one another, firm and sure that this was where they belonged.

Penelope’s hand found its way to one of Josie’s breasts and she squeezed it over the fabric of her clothes. Josie gasped, cutting their kiss. She looked down at Penelope, their eyes meeting with equal hunger.

“Do you want this?” Penelope whispered the words causing Josie to shiver. Part of her wanted Josie to say no. If she said no, all of this would end. Penelope could find her way to the surface again. She would build a bridge and do her best to cross it. But if Josie said yes, she knew she was going to drown in her.

(Her body had never craved death more than it did now.)

“Yes.”

The moment the word was uttered, expert hands reached for the clips they had undone dozens of times before. Penelope had removing Josie’s clothes down to an art and her skill had never had a better purpose. Josie tried to do the same and fumbled with Penelope’s clothes. However, she was helpless and unable to focus — especially when Penelope’s hands would (accidentally) brush against her naked skin.

Penelope had seen Josie’s body many times before and she had lusted over it but this was different. This time, it was hers to enjoy. She pried Josie’s arms apart, stopping them from allowing Josie’s self-consciousness to get in her way. Her hand immediately went to her breast and gave it another squeeze, her lips locking against her flawless neck.

Josie couldn’t do anything, her body all too willing to give in to Penelope’s touch. She shivered and moaned, not at all bothered by the way the stone wall rubbed against her back. It didn’t matter as long as Penelope was still touching her—she could feel nothing but her touch.

Penelope leaned up to kiss Josie again, taking her hand and pulling her off the wall. They kissed as Penelope led them to her bed, only stopping so that Penelope could lose her own tunic. Even with their mess of desperately touching limbs, Penelope somehow was able to wrangle herself in between Josie’s legs with Josie helplessly beneath her.

She stared at her, milking in the sight of having Josie exposed and vulnerable. “Are you sure?” she breathed, needing to know once again that this was what Josie wanted. This was outside the perfect box she had made for herself and Penelope didn’t want to smash through it if it meant Josie would regret it.

Josie bit her lip, her eyes trailing over Penelope’s perfect body. She wanted her. She really, _really_ wanted her. “I’m sure.”

Their lips connected once again and Josie pulled Penelope in as close as she could. The feeling of their bare bodies against one another was intoxicating and Josie almost didn’t want to let go when Penelope began to trail her lips downward. There was much for her to enjoy and Penelope had every intention of enjoying it.

The parts that Penelope had been so careful about before were now being mercilessly touched by her. Josie moaned as Penelope attacked her nipples, switching between flicks, nips, and gentle coaxing with her tongue. The sensations were overwhelming and Josie squirmed from the heat and wetness that was building between her legs.

As much as Penelope wanted to spend forever teasing Josie, she was too desperate and selfish to deny herself her own need to taste her. She continued to kiss her way downwards until she was faced with what she wanted. She was just about to put her tongue to work when she felt Josie push her away, “W-Wait!”

Penelope looked up at her in confusion. Josie was completely red and she squirmed under Penelope’s gaze. “What’s wrong?”

Josie looked away, not able to meet Penelope’s eyes. “I’ve just never... I don’t know what you’re doing.”

Penelope pushed herself back up and met Josie’s eyes. “It’s okay,” she whispered, pressing a small kiss against Josie’s cheek. “Do you trust me?” Josie immediately nodded. “Then relax. It’ll feel weird at first but it’ll get better,” Penelope explained. All that mattered to her was Josie’s comfort and if she needed to wait or allow Josie to decide what she wanted, she was more than willing.

Josie bit her lip and stared at Penelope for a few seconds. She could see nothing but affection reflected back to her and Josie knew she could trust her. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.”

Penelope smiled. “You can tell me to stop at any time if you don’t like it.” Josie nodded and Penelope took one last look to make sure she was okay before she found her way back between Josie’s legs.

Penelope went slowly, allowing Josie to adjust to the sensation. Josie squirmed a bit, not completely confident but also unwilling to stop. Once it seemed like Josie was more comfortable, Penelope began to work at her clit, hyper-aware of every one of Josie’s reactions. When it seemed like Josie was finally getting into it, she went faster and continued to increase the pace of her consistent strokes.

Josie did her best to relax and what Penelope was doing made her feel good. She could feel the pressure building at her core and it was strange but also exciting. The more Penelope went at it, the more shallow her breaths and tense her body became. She could feel it building and building but just before she went over the edge, she panicked and pushed Penelope away. “Stop!”

Penelope immediately climbed back up to make sure Josie was okay. She brushed some hair behind her ear, coaxing Josie to talk. “I’m sorry,” she whined, burying her face into her pillow. It was embarrassing. She didn’t mean to stop it or make Penelope feel like she didn’t want it. It was just...

“It’s okay.” Penelope smiled and gently nudged Josie’s face out of her pillow. “It’s okay. It’s a lot. We can stop and do whatever you want.”

Josie’s core was still pounding and she knew she wanted more but she was scared. This was all so new to her and it felt nothing like it did with Raf. It definitely never felt this intense and her body panicked and her mind took over. Josie whined again, frustrated at herself.

Penelope patiently waited as Josie considered her options. She was feeling rather uncomfortable herself from how wet she was but it mattered very little to her in comparison to what Josie was feeling.

She suddenly reached for Penelope’s hand and directed it between her legs. “Maybe you can...” Penelope didn’t need Josie to finish her sentence. She used her fingers to begin rubbing at her clit, gently and slowly so she could get used to having them there. When it seemed like Josie was beginning to relax again, she dipped one of her fingers in her. Josie bit her lip and nodded, allowing Penelope to skip another one in.

When it was clear that Josie was enjoying herself, Penelope began to go faster and harder, hooking her fingers upwards to hit just the spot that made every girl she’s been with go crazy. Josie was no different and it wasn’t long before her moans were mixed with pants and her walls began to tense up at the impending orgasm. With a few more expert strokes, Josie was pushed over the edge, her climax coursing through her entire body.

Penelope continued to pump and waited it out, only stopping when Josie opened her eyes and made eye contact with her. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes,” Josie replied, biting her bottom lip. She was still slightly embarrassed about what had happened but Penelope didn’t seem concerned at all. Penelope rearranged herself so that she was lying next to Josie, content to watch her as she processed everything.

“That was...”

Penelope smirked. “If you enjoyed it, I can do it again.”

Josie shook her head and rolled over so she was facing Penelope. “What about you?” she asked. It seemed unfair if she didn’t return the favour but Penelope simply shook her head.

“I’m okay. We can build you up to that.” Josie felt bad but she nodded anyway. Firstly, it meant that there was going to be more times, and secondly, if she were being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she was completely ready for all of it.

“I’m sorry.”

Penelope leaned over and kissed her. “Never be sorry for this. I don’t want you to ever think you _have_ to do anything.” Josie carried too much on her conscience and this was definitely not something that belonged there.

Josie nodded before resting her head against the crook of Penelope’s neck. “Thank you.”

Penelope simply smiled in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had been debating their first time scene for a while. As much as I would have liked to make it HAWTTT, I don't think that's realistic. Sex is awkward especially for a first time couple and even more-so when one or more parties are new to it. I think it would send a better message to let people know that it's okay to be awkward and to back out than to pretend sex is always mind-blowingly hot. 
> 
> Josie was rightfully nervous and Penelope never pressured her into feeling any different.
> 
> Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go dig myself a hole and die in it.


	9. cura te ipsum — take care of your own self

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I restarted this chapter three times, each leading to different results. I couldn't figure the words for it and was struggling to convey what I wanted to. 
> 
> I hope it worked out though!
> 
> As always, thank you for the support :)

Josie woke up to an empty bed the next day. She had gotten so used to waking up to Penelope somewhere in her room that the emptiness felt foreign. Memories of last night flashed through her head and while it brought a smile to her face, reality more or less set in and the smile was gone the next second.

Penelope had kissed her. And she kissed her back. And things went further. Should it have not? The emotions swirling in her felt foreign and she didn’t know what to make of it. Penelope made her smile and Josie liked her but... it just didn’t make sense. She had never felt this way before and it scared her not knowing what she was feeling. Josie wasn’t used to not having control, especially when it came to her emotions. Sometimes, it felt like the only thing she had control over and Penelope had somehow taken it away.

Josie was dangerous when she didn’t have control.

While the thoughts remained, she knew sitting around wasn’t going to produce a solution. She needed to talk to Penelope. Josie got out of bed and pulled on a simple tunic before leaving her room. She stopped the first person she ran in to and asked whether they knew where Penelope was. When they told her she was seen down in the kitchens, Josie decided to see for herself, curious at what Penelope did every morning considering she was always up earlier than her.

The moment Josie wandered into the kitchen, everyone froze. Within seconds, they snapped back to life and stood up, giving Josie a little bow. “Domina,” a few of them nervously greeted. They were definitely not expecting their mistress to be anywhere near the kitchen and they were scared they would get into trouble for loitering around. Mornings were the only time many of them really had any free time to do things other than work.

In this case, a few board games were lain down on the mess tables though it was clear some bodies were trying to hide it. “Is there anything we can get you, domina?” Emma asked, the only one not terrified for their lives. The dominus had always favoured her and that gave her a particular privilege and invulnerability the rest didn’t have. “I was just looking for Penelope,” Josie responded.

“Penelope is outside in the fields with Pedro.” Josie nodded and left, not wanting to disturb them for any longer. It was clear they were nervous with her around and she didn’t want to torture them with their fear of her.

When Josie got to the fields, she saw Penelope facing Pedro, a tiny wooden sword in his hand. It was a gift from pater before he left and Pedro had been declaring that he would be a legionary when he grew up. Josie hoped it would be true but she knew realistically his chances were slim. No matter who his father was, a slave would never be a citizen and earn the privilege.

“Remember what I taught you about stance? Don’t be so tense.” She playfully poked Pedro, causing him to giggle before he sobered up and immediately pointed the sword at her. Penelope raised her hands in surrender. “Taking advantage while I was distracted. Well done.” She reached over and messed his hair, causing him to laugh. “You could just charm your opponents into surrender.”

When Penelope looked up, she noticed Josie watching and gave her a small wave. Pedro followed Penelope’s eyes and grinned when he spotted Josie. “Josie!”

He was about to run up to his sister when he felt his sword yanked right out of his hands. “Don’t wave a weapon around like that in front of a lady. You might scare her,” Penelope chastised.

Josie rolled her eyes but was no less amused by what she had just witnessed. “She’s right, Pedro. It’s quite rude.” She walked up to them and quickly gave Pedro a little hug. “You should get back to your mater, it’s almost noon.” Pedro pouted but he knew she would get upset if he stayed out for too long. He didn’t know why, only that it was a rule.

“Bye Penelope!” He took his sword back before running off.

“So you’d teach him but you won’t teach me?” Josie pouted in mock offence.

“He’s cuter,” Penelope teased. “And your parents won’t kill me for teaching him.”

Although it was meant to be a joke, Josie frowned. “You know I wouldn’t let them hurt you.”

Penelope decided not to reply to that. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Josie but it was hard to believe that Josie could protect her from everything. “He doesn’t call your father _pater_ ,” Penelope observed, wanting to keep the topic off of her for the time being.

“The son of a slave is born a slave,” Josie explained. “My pater can never claim him.” They had strict rules when it came to social status. “As a patrician, I can’t even marry a _pleb_. There’s no way a slave would ever be elevated to patrician.” It was a sad truth and one both her father and Emma knew going into it.

“We had slaves where I came from but it was never that strict.” The Romans took the idea of bloodline and ancestral history to another level.

A silence drifted between them, neither making eye contact with the other. There were a lot of things to discuss. Last night was unexpected and a big deviation from what their relationship was supposed to be.

And that was a problem.

“I’m sorry,” Josie started.

The apology caught Penelope by surprise and she furrowed her brows in confusion. “About what?”

“I shouldn’t have let that happen last night.”

Penelope hadn’t thought it was a mistake but hearing those words felt like a punch to the gut. Did it mean Josie regretted it?

Seeing the hurt in Penelope’s eyes, Josie immediately retracted. “It wasn’t your fault or anything. It’s just... I didn’t think I was one of those people, you know? The ones that would use another person in that way...”

“You weren’t using me,” Penelope corrected.

“I was.”

“How? I initiated it.” If anyone was the guilty party it was her. She had overstepped and potentially made things really bad. Josie was in an awkward position now because of her. Penelope looked away, her next thought making it hard to look at Josie. “Are you sure your guilt isn’t meant for your husband?”

Josie shrugged. In her mind, she probably wronged them both. “Did you know there’s a prostitute registry?”

Penelope blinked, not at all understanding Josie’s random statement. Was she trying to suggest something?

“Under Roman custom, a man seeking sexual services from a prostitute or slave isn’t committing adultery.”

Penelope was beginning to understand where Josie was going with this but it frankly wasn’t any less insulting. Still, she patiently waited for Josie to finish.

“Both prostitutes and slaves don’t count as people. It’s as if they are simply toys.” Penelope was still waiting for the less offensive part. “But I don’t know if that applies to us,” Josie admitted. Not only were they both girls but... “You’re not a toy to me. It feels wrong to use that excuse on you. You deserve better than that.”

Penelope sighed. “You don’t have to feel bad about that.” Josie seemed so insistent on carrying the blame for everything. “If you need to see us like that, I’m okay with it.”

“I’m not because then it implies that I’m using you.” Josie was at fault no matter which way she looked at it. She was either an adulterer or someone who was willing to take advantage of someone with less power than her.

“I told you, I wanted it. I initiated it. I put you in that position.”

“But you wouldn’t be able to say no if you didn’t.”

Penelope pursed her lips. Josie was right. She wasn’t in a position to say no though that felt irrelevant because that wasn’t the case. “Does it matter? It’s not an actual problem.”

Josie shook her head. It was a problem. Josie could do fairly well protecting Penelope from everyone else but she couldn’t really protect her from herself. “But what if it becomes one?”

“I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t.” Josie’s words were sharp. They weren’t questioning or suggestive. To Josie, it was the truth.

“And why’s that?” Penelope had already convinced herself that Josie was trustworthy so if Josie wanted to pull her backwards, she needed a good reason why.

“Because I’m selfish.”

Penelope actually scoffed. She hadn’t heard a worse lie in her life. “All you ever do is do things for other people. That’s not selfish, Josie.”

Josie shook her head again, feeling somewhat frustrated that Penelope just wouldn’t take her word for it. She knew she was selfish and Penelope was in a dangerous position to be doubting that. “I can’t control my feelings when I’m with you. I can’t prevent myself from being selfish with you.” Josie was worried that she would overstep, that she would hurt Penelope because she wouldn’t be able to put Penelope’s needs above her own. She didn’t have control over whatever she was feeling. She had never felt this way before and it scared her. Penelope could get hurt.

“I’m yours. That’s a legal fact. I’m stuck with you and I’m not complaining,” Penelope stated, though it didn’t make Josie feel any better. Penelope quickly looked around to make sure no one was watching before taking Josie’s hands in her own. “You don’t need to be selfless all the time, Josie. You’re allowed to want things for yourself.”

“But what if you get hurt?”

Penelope couldn’t help but smirk. “Then I get hurt. I can’t exactly control any of this either, Jojo.” She brushed a stray strand of hair away from Josie’s face, nudging her chin up so that she would look at her. “You spend so much time giving other people what they want. Let me spend time giving you what you want.” Penelope already cared too much about Josie to care that she was placing her own heart on the line. It was guarded but when someone broke through, it was soft and too easily stolen.

“This is my choice. You can’t deprive me of that. It’s actually rather selfish if you decide to make the decision all on your own,” Penelope couldn’t help but counter. Still, she had a smile on her face and a gentleness in her eyes that told Josie she was only joking. “I trust you.”

Josie bit her bottom lip and nodded. She knew there would be consequences—there were always consequences when she stepped out of line and only thought about herself. Nevertheless, if Penelope was willing to take this huge risk just to let her be selfish, she couldn’t refuse. As sceptical as she was, she was too selfish at the moment to care. She wanted this. She would let go of her fear and allow herself the freedom to feel.

(It wasn’t something she could control anyway.)

* * *

“Is this common where you come from?” Josie asked. They were both casually laying on her bed. Josie didn’t feel like going out today and thought it would be best spent in her room.

“What?” Penelope replied. She was on her side staring at Josie while the other girl had her eyes locked on the ceiling.

“This thing we have—are doing.” A little blush rose up her cheeks at the thought.

“It’s not common but I’m pretty hard to resist,” Penelope teased, causing Josie’s blush to deepen. Truthfully, it definitely wasn’t something known and Penelope kept it a relative secret but she surrounded herself with more adventurous people. “My people don’t care about chastity before marriage, unlike yours. They don’t really care about monogamy either. Marriage isn’t as big of a deal to us. No offence, but you Roman women are kind of… really sad.”

Josie was actually not offended at all. Her life was boring. It was the same thing day in and day out. She wasn’t complaining about her luxury and privilege, but there had to be more to life than gossip, dining, and housekeeping. “That makes sense, you definitely knew what you were, um, doing… and that mouth thing?” The topic was embarrassing but Josie was also painfully curious. “We don’t use our mouths during sex like that. It’s considered taboo.”

“Huh…” Penelope mused. “Definitely sad.” It was no wonder the rich women were so desperate to have sex with gladiators. It was probably the closest thing they had to _good_ sex.

Josie couldn't help but agree. Before meeting Penelope, Josie didn’t even know many things were possible. She had always thought Rome was the centre of the world. They were an empire that no one could conquer; their victories proved that they were superior. And yet Penelope was in no way inferior to her and seemed to have so much more freedom. Josie envied her.

“You were very good with Pedro earlier,” Josie commented, needing to give her red cheeks a break.

“My tribe was close. We always had kids running around.”

“My mater keeps wishing we had the same situation here.” Josie looked down at her stomach before sighing. “I’ve been a failure for two years.”

Penelope immediately sat up, her eyes narrowed. “You’re not a failure for not getting pregnant.”

“For a husband, that’s a good reason as any for divorce.” Josie was joking though Penelope definitely didn’t find it very funny.

“Is that all it is then? A way to get pregnant?” Penelope didn’t know whether to feel relieved or sad.

“It’s kind of the entire point. My pater wanted more heirs.” Josie never questioned it. People had been telling her that it was her duty her entire life. The only way she was going to get out of it was to join the Vestal Virgins and that didn’t sound very pleasant either.

“Why didn’t he just adopt more heirs? Didn’t he do that with your husband?”

Josie shook her head. “It’s more than that… If my pater didn’t set Lizzie and I up with good husbands and he died before he could, there’s a chance that the next person who takes my pater's place will decide for us. I wouldn’t be surprised if he married one of us himself to increase his legitimacy. Our children would be blood heirs of Augustus.” Josie cringed at the thought.

“Isn’t your uncle next in…oh.” The look on Josie’s face said it all. “Right… well… I’m glad you’re married?” Honestly, what could Penelope say? All of this was incredibly bizarre. There were so many rules to marriage in the Roman empire and Josie was expected to follow every single one. There was no such thing as choice.

Josie was still cringing at the thought and needed her mind anywhere else. She turned to Penelope, determination in her eyes. “Kiss me.”

Penelope raised a brow in amusement before leaning forward. “Whatever you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pleb - Roman citizens who were not patricians (they basically couldn't trace their line back to nobility) 
> 
> There is practically no information on how the Romans or the Germanic peoples treated same-sex female attraction so I have to wing it. Please don't take my word for it. 
> 
> Also, I was incredibly shocked to learn that Romans didn't have oral sex (unless they were receiving it from a slave). Frankly, I've had to learn too much about the Romans' sex lives for this fic. There are just some things you cannot unlearn.
> 
> And yes, while incest was looked down upon, there are instances (re: Emperor Claudius married his niece, Agrippina)


	10. memento vivere — remember to live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took longer than usual. I was distracted and I'm generally really bad at happy mundane moments. I know I need to build their relationship but it doesn't drive me as much as intense feelings.
> 
> In other words, I plan to make it hurt when I get there ;)

By the Gods, how did Penelope find herself in this position... again???

“I’m still doing okay, right?” Josie asked, popping up from between Penelope’s legs for probably the hundredth time.

Penelope laughed and sat up, pulling Josie up with her. This was getting ridiculous. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Then trust that I’ll tell you if what you’re doing does not feel good and is not working. This...” she pointed up and down at the space between them, starting at Josie’s eyes to between her own legs, “your incessant need to make sure I’m okay every ten seconds does not feel good and is not working.”

Josie pouted and blushed, her eyes adverting from Penelope. Penelope couldn’t help but laugh, her affection for the girl only increasing by the second. She cupped her cheek and forced Josie’s eyes back on her. After giving her a little kiss, she pulled back. With nothing but gentleness in her voice, “I appreciate that you are trying so hard and love that you want to make me feel good, but let yourself have fun, okay? My body’s yours to explore and you don’t need to make sure I’m okay. I’ll tell you if I’m not.”

Josie nodded, still embarrassed at how awkward she was being. “Josie, as long as you’re having fun, I’m having fun.”

Josie sighed. “Okay, but you’re laughing a lot. I feel silly.”

Penelope’s eyes softened. “I’m not laughing at you, Jojo. I’m laughing because I’m having fun. Sex is awkward. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and enjoy it. Laugh a little.”

Josie couldn’t help but giggle. “It is kind of weird.”

Penelope grinned when it seemed like her words finally sunk in. “Now the key is consistency so I swear to the gods, Josie, that if you stop to ask me if I’m okay one more time...” Penelope didn’t actually have a threat lined up. Who could threaten someone like Josie?

* * *

 “Penelo—“

“Shhh, you’re going to get us caught,” Penelope whispered. Josie’s eyes instinctively went to the wide-open entrance of the bath and caught her bottom lip between her teeth. Right. Quiet.

When Penelope was satisfied that Josie got the point, she reattached her lips to Josie’s neck, peppering small kisses as her fingers moved inside of her.

It wasn’t the plan to ever be this open about it—especially not with the consequences—but the bath routine had been teasing them both for so long, they deserved at least one opportunity to follow up on it. Lizzie had returned to her husband’s home and Hope was visiting her family for a few days. As far as either of them were concerned, they were safe from the people who definitely couldn’t know.

It was only Josie and Penelope… and the dozens of painted eyes that lined the walls, but they weren’t in any less of a compromising position so they couldn’t judge. Penelope would never understand the Roman fascination with painting sex and penises everywhere.

* * *

“You seem rather cheery today, sweetheart,” Caroline couldn’t help but observe. Josie was usually refined and it wasn’t uncommon to see her smile but the smile Caroline was seeing right now was brighter than usual.

Penelope smirked from her place behind Josie. It was close enough that she could watch but just far enough that Caroline wouldn’t have noticed.

Josie blushed and nodded. “Yes. I’m just happy to be having lunch with you. It’s usually just me and my sisters.”

Caroline apologetically frowned. “I’m sorry about that, Josie. With your dad out of town, I’m suddenly the guest to host and it’s rude to say no, especially when you pater needs us to keep things stable back here.”

Josie nodded. She knew how busy her mother was. Women didn’t play an active political role but those who knew how to manipulate the people around them were sometimes more powerful than most men. Her mother was one of those people and her father trusted her to keep people in line in his absence.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t join me,” Caroline offered. “I have a dinner tonight with an aedile and you should join me. If I honour him with us both, he may be more willing to agree with one of my plans.”

“I wouldn’t want to intru—“

“It’s decided.”

* * *

“Do you not enjoy the food, Josie?” the aedile asked, noticing that the girl wasn’t eating much.

“I am. It’s quite delicious,” Josie responded. “I’m just not feeling very hungry.” She looked apologetic, knowing her lack of enthusiasm could be interpreted as rude.

The aedile smiled, giving her a dismissive wave. “That’s quite all right. Why don’t you have more of the wine then? It is some of my best, you cannot say no to that.”

Josie gave the aedile a small smile and nodded. She took small sips as he and her mother talked, quite content to keep to herself. She knew that she should be more sociable but the dinner ended up being bigger than she expected and she didn’t really know the people around her very well.

“ _Domina.”_

Josie looked back at the slave that suddenly greeted her. “Yes?”

“This is from my dominus,” the slave stated, holding out a wine cup.

Josie blinked and looked at the man that had passed her the cup. She turned back to the slave and shook her head. “No, please return it.”

Penelope watched from her spot behind Josie, wondering what that interaction meant. When the slave returned to his master, his master looked annoyed and told the slave to take the glass away.

Josie turned to her mother and whispered something to her. Caroline immediately frowned and responded. Penelope was left confused, too far away to hear them, especially over the conversation and music.

Her eyes went back to the senator in question and she caught him staring directly at her. His stare was unnerving and Penelope had to resist glaring at him. All she could do was avert her eyes and try not to provoke him. She didn’t want to put Josie in an awkward position if he somehow got offended by her. 

Penelope wasn’t used to being so passive.

The dinner continued on and no one really moved until the drinking party. Josie stood up and stumbled a little but Penelope was there to keep her stable. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. The wine was just a bit stronger than I’m used to and I didn’t eat much.”

“Maybe we should go back to your home?”

Before Josie could agree, a smash sounded from the other side of the room. One of the other slaves was standing horrified at the sight of the broken glass in front of them.

Although the aedile didn’t shout, the slave’s friends immediately began to drag him away from the room while others cleaned the mess that was made.

“Oh no...”

Penelope looked up at Josie confused.

Sensing Penelope’s confusion, she leaned down so that she could whisper. “That glass probably cost more than that person’s life... they aren’t going to have a good night.”

Penelope pursed her lips. It got to her that something as insignificant as a material item was worth more to the master than a human being. There was a price on her own body and Penelope was glad she didn’t know it.

As much as wished she could do something and knew that in any other situation she could, Josie came above all else so if she had to ignore everything that bothered her, so be it. Since there wasn’t anything that could be done so she begrudgingly moved on. “What was that earlier? With the man there?”

“I’ll tell you when we get home. People are beginning to stare.” And so they were, including Josie’s mother. Penelope only noticed now that in order to talk to her Josie had to stand awfully close to her. In their minds, how many words could she possibly share with her handmaiden? All she needed to give was commands.

Because of what had happened, the night felt longer and Penelope couldn’t have been more relieved when Josie was finally allowed to go home.

It wasn’t until they got back to the comfort of Josie’s bedroom that they were finally able to speak about it. “He was asking me if I wanted to have sex with him.”

Penelope’s eyes widened, “What?”

“He took a sip from the cup and passed it along to me. It’s like an indirect proposition,” Josie explained. “He couldn’t exactly flirt with me from the other side of the table.”

“But you’re married.”

“No one actually cares about that. They just strongly pretend to. My husband is off to war. He probably thinks I’m lonely and available or something. We patrician wives live boring lives. Sometimes sex with someone new is the most excitement we get.”

Penelope couldn’t help but smirk. “Too bad you’re already getting your fix.” Josie’s eyes widened when Penelope pushed forward, backing her onto the bed.

Was Penelope mildly jealous? Possibly. Either way, Josie was definitely going to be reminded of the fact that she definitely didn’t need anyone else.

* * *

“If you could do or be anything you wanted, what would it be?” Penelope asked, her arm wrapped around Josie as they laid there.

Josie shrugged before turning around so they could face each other. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought of it. Why?”

Penelope narrowed her eyes. “You’re lying.”

Josie frowned, “How would you know that?”

“You’re not completely happy with your life, Josie. That means there’s something that could make it happier and I want to know.”

“You’ve made me happier,” Josie insisted.

Penelope smiled. “As sweet as that is, I want to know what you want. Your happiness shouldn’t have to rely on someone else. Humour me, if you could do anything else, no restrictions, what would you do?”

“Study at the library of Alexandria. My _avus_ accidentally burned it down but if there were no restrictions, that would be it. Some of the greatest works were stored there. I couldn’t imagine anything more amazing than conversing and learning from other people.”

Penelope smiled. That sounded like Josie. If she had any free time (and Penelope wasn’t thoroughly distracting her) Josie’s nose was in the books.

“How about you?” Josie returned.

“I was happy as I was.” It was a simple answer. Sure it wasn’t perfect back in Germania but Penelope was pretty free to live her life, however. If she had decided to pack up and explore something new, she knew her father would support her decision.

Although it made sense, Josie had to hide the hurt behind Penelope’s words. She understood them. Of course, she knew that Penelope was better off elsewhere, but it saddened her to know that she was standing in the way of Penelope’s freedom. It was her own unwillingness to fight to free her. While part of the reason why she didn’t was that she didn’t want to damage her image, the other part—the very selfish part—was afraid that Penelope would leave the first chance she got.

She warned Penelope that she was selfish but she didn’t think she could admit to just how selfish this was.

“I would have loved to see your home.”

“It’s not as grand as yours. Besides, there’s nothing left. It looks like both of us will never get what we want.”

“Yeah...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aedile - the elected politician in charge of public projects and infrastructure  
> avus - grandfather, in this case, Josie's grandfather is none other than Julius Caesar
> 
> I'm bad at happy. Forgive me.


	11. contra spem spero - i hope against hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I had to re-write this chapter four times because the first three options didn't work for me. Sorry for any typos, I could not get myself to re-read it again or else I might have to re-write it a fifth time because UGHHHHHH writing is hard ;___;

“We should go out today,” Josie suggested after their bath. “I will even walk!” After months of the same routine, Josie wanted a change in pace. She loved every minute she spent with Penelope but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t try something new every once in a while.

Penelope dramatically gasped. “Walk? You? I don’t think I’ve seen you walking outside since we’ve gotten back to Rome,” she teased. They had been out but it wasn’t as interesting when Josie was literally being carried around on a litter. Rich Romans really knew how to enjoy their wealth.

Still, it gave her an idea. “Why don’t we make it more fun and sneak out?”

Josie raised her brow. “Sneak out?”

Penelope nodded. “Yeah, we will never be able to have any real fun if the guards are surrounding us. We can dress you up and blend you into the crowd.”

Josie immediately grinned at the thought. She had never been able to just explore while out on the streets and she was excited at the prospect of being anonymous.

* * *

 “See? No one notices you without the fancy guards and clothes.”

Josie had been worried that people would still recognize her but everyone passed by her without a second glance. Her outfit was plain and her face was mostly hidden by her _palla,_ but even those she interacted with didn’t seem to notice. They didn’t expect it so they didn’t see it.

On the streets, there was no way to distinguish freemen from slaves and they were free to walk around as equals. Josie enjoyed walking through the markets side-by-side with Penelope, their hands locked together. They occasionally stopped at food stalls, testing the treats the food vendors had to offer. Other times, they stopped at stores that sold crafted goods (they were particularly interested in foreign ones). While there were many bad things about Romans, no one could deny that they were multicultural and enjoyed the things other cultures had to offer.

Without Josie grabbing all the attention, most people noticed Penelope first. Some of those eyes were there because she was a foreigner but Josie could tell that others were simply admiring her beauty. It made Josie feel something in her stomach and she didn’t like it (though she couldn’t deny that she stared at Penelope many times for the same reason). It made her grip tighten every time.

When they were in their own little world, it didn’t matter to Josie what they were. But.. what were they? They were friends, of course, but they also had sex and kissed much more often than socially acceptable for friends. Josie knew she had grown super attached to Penelope (so much so that sometimes she was all she could think of) but she had no way to define it.

They weren’t just friends. And yet, anything more terrified her. Anything more was wrong. Anything more would hurt everyone involved. Anything more would never be accepted. She couldn’t even tell Lizzie and she had always been able to tell her sister everything.

All it took was one slip to ruin everything.

Even if they didn’t mess up, Penelope had sunken into only one part of her world—the freer part despite the lack of legal freedom. There was a whole other part that would come crashing back the moment the war was done. Everything would change and Josie was terrified.

If things changed, Josie knew there was only one way to make it right and that was to let Penelope go. Their time together had an expiration date. She couldn’t hold her back no matter how selfishly she wanted to. Penelope’s life was not hers and Josie couldn’t have it all.

Holding on to now would only hurt them more in the long run but she didn’t have the strength to let go. She was truly happy and wanted to milk every second of it. Consequences be damned.

“Penelope?”

Penelope turned to look at Josie. “Hm?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Penelope blushed before looking away and clearing her throat. “That was random.”

“Not really. It’s a constant state. I just felt like pointing it out.” Josie didn’t think she said it enough.

Penelope smirked. “I know the feeling.” There was no feeling that Penelope was more familiar with. She hadn’t been caught so far because no one bothered to notice her, but there were many times Penelope had caught herself in the act of staring a bit too intensely at Josie. She knew what it meant but didn’t dare think Josie meant the same thing.

Penelope was well aware that whatever they had was fleeting though she knew she would be content regardless as long as Josie was happy. After everything that had happened, Penelope had long given up on the prospect of her own happiness so she was fine ensuring Josie’s.

While the entire trip was filled with conversation and laughs, they became more silent as they wandered through the more residential areas. Penelope could see what Emma was saying a few months back about how the slaves of Augustus’ valued their positions. All around them free families were crammed into small three-story houses and none of them looked particularly nice. Penelope was willing to bet none of them owned those houses either.

Rome was a city of luxury... for those who could afford it.

When they got back to the  _Argiletum_ , they found a spot to sit and simply watch the world move around them. “I feel at home here,” Penelope suddenly commented.

Josie looked over and raised her brow.

“It reminds me of the markets back at home. People just walking around, socializing, doing their everyday jobs. Even as the daughter of the leader, my life was never as leisure as yours. Everyone knew me because I knew everyone else.”

Josie nodded. There was no way Josie could do the same. Rome housed hundreds of thousands of people. “I know you can’t go back but do you think you could be happy living here? Not at my domus but _here_?” Josie didn’t want to know the answer but she had to know it, if only just to convince herself that it would be selfish to not let go.

“I don’t think so. I don’t have a place here. It is comfortable but I’m only here because of you.” She gave Josie’s hand a little squeeze. “I don’t think I could be happy without a purpose and nothing this culture offers suits me.” Penelope knew she was a leader and fighter at heart. Women in Rome could never be what she wanted to be. “My life would get boring and I’d probably get into trouble.” Penelope knew that without a good way to channel her energy, she was bound to end up on the wrong end. “I think I would make it my mission to burn this system to the ground.”

“I’ve always had an affinity for fire,” Josie joked. Despite how scary the idea of being in an unfamiliar new system sounded, Josie wished she could witness it. Penelope was so utterly passionate about what she believed in and Josie could do nothing but admire it.

”So I’ve heard. I think Lizzie’s biggest regret in her life is that you didn’t burn Hope’s room down with her in it.”

Josie laughed and nodded. “It probably is. I was a violent child.”

“You? I can’t see it.”

“Why not?” Josie pouted, faking offence.

“Violent women are cool. You’re not cool.” Josie’s pout deepened. “No amount of pouting would say otherwise, in fact, it’s proving my point.” She pokes Josie’s nose. “You’re too cute.”

Josie broke out into a smile and leaned her head against Penelope’s shoulder. It was awkward and they were being a bit too affectionate in public but no one cared. Everyone was concerned with their own lives and too busy to care about theirs. It wasn’t like being surrounded by rich patricians who had nothing better going on than gossiping about everyone else.

“I wish we could be like this all the time,” Josie confessed.

Penelope smiled and pulled Josie’s hand up to her lips, placing a small kiss on the back of it. “Me too. But I’m not going anywhere.” Penelope knew she was in too deep now. Josie has become her purpose and while she was being hypocritical for relying on Josie to be her purpose, she couldn’t imagine anything more worth it.

But while Penelope was smiling, Josie was frowning (though Penelope couldn’t see it). “Me neither.” Except for Josie, it was actually true.

* * *

 When the market began to slow down, they knew that they had to return. The moment Josie spotted her sister, she dropped Penelope’s hand. Although she knew that it was right, Penelope still felt the sting of it. This was always going to be their reality. Penelope expected nothing else from her life, even back in Germania, but with Josie, she wanted more. She wished she could hope.

She had accepted her reality. At least she thought she had.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Lizzie asked, a dramatic disgust on her face.

Josie rolled her eyes. “It’s nice to see you too, Lizzie.”

“Where have you been all day?” Lizzie linked their arms together and began dragging Josie inside. “We got a message from pater. He will be coming back for _transvect_ io  _equitum_.”

“Really?” Josie smiled, genuinely excited for her father’s return.

“Apparently the _pontifices_ requested that he come back. Something is supposed to happen.” Lizzie didn’t know what was so important that he had to come back but she wasn’t complaining. It had been forever since she had seen her father.

“But what about the war?” Josie asked.

“Oh.. I’m sorry, Jo. Raf has to remain at the front. It’s just pater coming back.” Josie was not sorry at all. In fact, that was the perfect scenario. “Why are you smiling?”

“Oh... um... it’s just the perfect time for Raf to prove himself,” Josie lied.

Unfortunately, Josie was a terrible liar and Lizzie could read right through her. “You really don’t like him do you?” she asked. They had arrived in the atrium and Lizzie sat down, pulling Josie with her.

Josie immediately shook her head. “No, it’s not tha—“

“It’s okay, Josie. You don’t have to pretend to be happy just so I don’t feel bad that I am.” Lizzie had never expected it but she had genuinely fallen in love with Milton. Sure, he was annoyingly happy and Rafael was definitely the more attractive one, but Milton was incredibly fun and she knew he loved her. Whenever she was in a room with Rafael and Josie, they barely looked at one another. “Consider it my consolation prize for you getting to be with pater’s actual heir.”

Josie pressed her lips together and nodded. Sometimes it was easier just to let Lizzie believe her own interpretations.

All that mattered was that Penelope and her would have many more months together relatively uninterrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> palla - a layer of clothes that can be used to cover one's head  
> domus - domain/household  
> Argiletum - a part of the market  
> transvectio equitum - one of the MANY, MANY Roman celebrations  
> pontifices - priests basically
> 
> As always, thanks again for the support!


	12. amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus - love is rich with both honey and venom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to not say anything.

When Penelope woke the next morning, she was surprised to see that Josie was already up. Even more surprising was the fact that there was food on the table. Penelope rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t just seeing things—and she wasn’t.

They had settled into a routine over the months and Penelope wasn’t feeling as bad about it anymore. Josie treated her like a friend and while things were far from perfect, their normal wasn’t too bad.

“Happy _Saturnalia_ ,” Josie greeted, a large smile on her face.

“Saturn-what?”

“Saturnalia,” Josie repeated. She crawled onto the bed and gave Penelope a quick kiss on the lips. “I brought you breakfast.”

“You what?” Not only was Penelope kind of still drowsy and not fully woken up, Josie was making no kind of sense whatsoever. What would people think if Josie was bringing her food? “Isn’t that against the rules?”

Josie grinned and shook her head. “Nope. Saturnalia is the one festival I get to spoil you,” she declared. “It’s a game the masters get to play with their slaves. For one day, we are switching places.”

Penelope raised her brow, incredibly sceptical of this ‘game’ they were playing. Everything the Romans seemed to label as a game was more dark and dangerous than the definition of 'game' should be.

Still, Josie seemed excited and Penelope had learned by now that she had a complete inability to ruin Josie’s day in any way. “Well, if that’s the case, thank you, Josie.” She got up but before she could fully get off the bed, Josie stopped her.

“It’s also a gift-giving festival. Most of the gifts are artistic ones or gags but I wanted to give you something special.”

She reached over to her nightstand and presented the small gift to Penelope. Penelope looked down at the silver cat necklace, its eyes amber. “Freyja.”

“The warrior, the wise, the beauty, and the lover. You are all those things and more,” Josie stated. A small blush appeared on Josie’s cheeks. Penelope truly was amazing and Josie didn’t say it enough. “I had a jeweller make it for you."

Penelope was absolutely speechless. What could she say to a gift like that? Josie spoiled her all the time but this was different. “It’s perfect.” She couldn’t stop staring at it.

Josie couldn’t help the large grin that appeared on her face after seeing how much Penelope liked it. “I know that it’s hard to be so far away from your home but I thought this could give you some sort of connection to it.” Penelope wasn’t the only thoughtful person in their friendship.

“May I?”

Penelope nodded and turned around, allowing Josie to clasp it to her neck. The chain was just long enough that it could be tucked neatly behind Penelope’s clothes and be their little secret. Josie wished it didn’t have to be a secret but their well-being depended on it.

When Penelope turned back around, she leaned forward and kissed her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I wish there was more that I can do.”

“This is a good start,” Penelope teased. “This is my day to be spoiled, right? You are definitely going to have to work.”

Penelope got off the bed and they started to have breakfast. It was definitely fancier than she was used to (of course there was no way Josie made it herself). Throughout breakfast, the two of them were silent, the only interaction being occasional glances at one another followed by a smile on each other’s directions.

When they finished, Josie got up. “Time for your next surprise,” she announced.

“My next surprise?” Penelope didn’t know how much better this day could get and it was not even noon. She was joking when she said that Josie had a lot of work to do.

“I think this one will mean much more to you.” Josie’s voice was soft, solemn even. She wished she had done this sooner but there were a few hoops to jump. Saturnalia was the perfect distraction to make it happen. “Come on.”

She took Penelope’s hand and they began walking towards the atrium. When they had arrived, Milton was standing there with a praetorian guard.

“Good morning, Milton. Good morning, Kaleb,” Josie greeted, letting go of Penelope’s hand so she could give them both a kiss. “Thank you for agreeing to do this. I owe you both.”

“No need to thank me, Josie. I’m glad I was able to help. Kaleb will lead the way and make sure the guards let us through.”

“What’s going on?” Penelope asked. Both Milton and Kaleb were staring at her, a small smile on their faces. She wasn’t used to getting this much attention and she didn’t realize until now how awkward it felt to be receiving it.

“You’ll see.” She held out her hand. “Do you trust me?”

“Always.” Penelope took her hand and willingly followed.

The walk was long and they had to weave through crowds of people on the street. During the festival, people barely batted an eye at the group. Today was the day to focus on Saturn and to have fun. Their worries could come back tomorrow.

They eventually arrived at a large structure and Penelope was only more confused when she saw all the armed guards at the front. “This is the _Tullianum_ ,” Josie explained. “It’s where we keep the prisoners.”

Penelope furrowed her brows, wondering why she was here and how this gift could mean more than— The realization hit her all at once. “He’s in there?” she asked, her composure completely shaken.

“Yes.” Josie squeezed her hand before they walked up to the guards. Kaleb quickly spoke to the men and Milton joined in. After what seemed like forever, the guards moved out of the way and allowed them access.

As they walked past the cells, they did their best to ignore the shouts that were directed their way. It was a very uncomfortable experience but Penelope only cared about why they were there.

“Penelope?” It was Arend that had noticed his daughter first. He actually couldn’t believe his eyes and had to squint a few times to recognize her.

“Let her in,” Josie ordered. The guards did as they were told and Penelope didn’t waste a single second, immediately rushing into the cell and engulfing her father in a hug.

“Can we trust you two alone?” Josie asked. She wanted to give Penelope and her father some alone time but she also knew that it would be dangerous to leave them alone.

“Lock the door behind me then,” Penelope stated, not hesitating. Josie pursed her lips but nodded.

Penelope waited until she felt the lock snap before turning her attention back to her father. She couldn’t believe that he was here. She barely recognized him. His strong muscles had all but disappeared and his dark hair showed endless signs of grey.

“How are you here?” he demanded, his eyes immediately rushing over his daughter’s body, desperate to make sure that she was unharmed. Every moment that he wasn’t contemplating his mistakes, he was wondering where his daughter was and how she was fairing. He had imagined the worst. Romans took their war prisoners as slaves and while there were plenty of roles a female slave could take, there was one role they all had in common. Men were cruel creatures when unrestrained by laws.

“Josie… she brought me here,” Penelope explained. She didn’t know what else she could say. She could barely process that any of this was happening. Maybe part of her didn’t want to because this was the wretched truth while Penelope had been swept away in falsehoods.

“What did they do to you? What happened?”

Penelope tried her best to explain everything that happened to her since their capture (except the inappropriate bits). Her words were hurried and muddled but she needed to get every single word out. She didn’t know if this would be their last time seeing one another but she knew that she had to let him know that she was okay. If this was the end, he would at least hold comfort in that fact.

“Penelope…” He cupped his daughter’s cheek and pulled her forward for a kiss on her forehead. Although she didn’t mention it, he could see it. It broke his heart and Arend couldn’t decide if Penelope had met a fortunate fate or an unfortunate one. Of course, he would forever thank the gods that his daughter was unharmed and physically protected, but he knew there were other ways to hurt a person.

If there was one thing about his daughter he was proud of, it was her spirit. He had seen her fight her way through immeasurable odds and come out stronger but the heart didn’t naturally heal with time the same way the body did. He had never seen her like this and he was scared for her. Not only was her heart vulnerable, he also knew that she would give everything for the ones she loved. Penelope didn’t love or believe in many things but when she did, she gave it her all.

If he was right then this Josie girl would be her downfall.

“Why don’t you ask her to let you go back to Germania? I’m sure any of the tribes would accept you.” The Germanic tribes were always in conflict with one another but no force made people join hands the way Roman forces did.

“She helped me. I don’t want to make things difficult for her,” Penelope explained. In truth, she didn’t want to return to Germania. The war was still raging and there was no guarantee returning wouldn’t land her in a worse position if the Romans won.

(She also couldn’t imagine leaving Josie.)

“Difficult? I’m sure no one would question her releasing a single slave.” If Penelope was going to put herself in harm's way, which he knew she would, he could at least try to convince her to be free when doing it. “Promise me you will at least ask her? Promise me.”

Penelope pursed her lips. She couldn’t explain it to him. He wouldn’t get it. He hadn’t had all the months to learn what it meant to be someone like Josie. Appearance was everything and one flaw could easily snowball into an avalanche. Nevertheless, it seemed to mean so much to him that she had to try. “I’ll ask her, but is there anything I could do for you?”

“Not at the cost of yourself. I would die peacefully knowing you’re safe.” Arend had resigned himself to his fate long ago and knowing that Penelope would at least have a better outcome than himself was all he could hope for.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have to leave now.” Josie re-entered with a few guards. They opened the cell and Penelope reluctantly got out before they locked it again. “I will try to arrange another visit for both of you.” With her father coming back in a few months, Josie knew that arranging these would be more urgent and important.

“Take care of her.” Arend looked directly at Josie.

She tensed in surprise but eased into a sad smile. “I swear that I will.” Penelope had easily become one of the most important people in her life and she wanted him to know that.

The walk back to the estate was silent, Penelope too caught up in what happened to talk about it. Furthermore, she knew that, despite Milton and Kaleb helping them, talking in front of them wasn’t much of an option. It wasn’t until they returned safely back in Josie’s room that either of them uttered a word—or in this case, made a move.

Josie was immediately overwhelmed by a surprise kiss from Penelope. She didn’t need to say a word to express her gratitude. Josie could feel it from the kiss and she was content to let Penelope express it, responding in turn. There was no way words could match the feelings that were bubbling in both of them.

Their bodies moved in perfect sync as they reached the bed and their kiss ended only briefly enough for Josie to appreciate the sight of the necklace hanging from Penelope as she was on top of her.

Her bottom lip caught between her teeth when she met Penelope’s eyes. It was familiar but Josie could also see something more intense than the gratitude she was expecting. It sent a shiver down her spine and Josie could do nothing but let herself be caught in Penelope’s stare.

“I love you.” It was the only words Penelope was capable of uttering. She had known it for a while now. Josie had taken over every inch of her heart and until now, she was too scared to admit it. Penelope thought that loving Josie meant nothing but pain and while she knew pain was bound to be a reality of their relationship, she had also learned that it was also capable of great joy.

However, the words caught Josie by surprise. Deep inside, she knew Penelope loved her and she loved her back, but it wasn’t something Josie dared to dream. _Anything more was wrong._ They weren’t allowed to be poets, capable of stringing together words of loving experiences. These feelings were for those who were freer than they were. These feelings were something Josie had long resigned herself to never feeling.

And yet she couldn’t deny that they were there.

(She also couldn’t deny that she wanted them).

“I love you too.”

In a relationship fraught with danger, neither Penelope nor Josie believed that anything was more dangerous than the words they had just uttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Saturnalia is believed to have been somewhat of a precursor to the Christian holiday of Christmas. It is celebrated at the end of December and many of the traditions can be matched in some way.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!


	13. inter spem et metum - between hope and fear

“The pontifices requested that Lizzie and I take the role of Pollux and Castor at next year’s _transvectio equitum_.”

“Pollux and Castor?”

Josie smiled. She took Penelope’s hand and led her towards the balcony. She pointed up at the dark sky, directing Penelope’s eyes to a pattern of stars. “That’s Pollux and Castor, the _Gemini_.”

“Thjazi’s eyes,” Penelope replied.

Josie looked down at Penelope, intrigued. She supposed not only one culture could have a meaning behind the constellations. “I’ll share my peoples’ story if you share yours,” Josie challenged.

Penelope rolled her eyes and nodded. Josie would share it regardless so Penelope didn’t have to offer it back but she knew how much Josie loved learning about new things.

“They have a long history in Greece but we know them as the heroes of the Battle of Lake Regillus.” She looked back up at the stars, leaning against the bannister. “It was said that Castor and Pollux answered our prayers and appeared on the battlefield as powerful warriors mounted on white horses. They helped us win the battle and were the ones who brought news of our victory back to Rome.”

All her life she had been told stories of the many things twins before them have done. They were magical. Too many infants died before their first year in the world so the fact that Josie and Lizzie had both survived this long was a miracle.

“Pollux was the child of Jupiter while Castor was the child of a Spartan King. One was a god and the other was mortal. Because Castor was mortal, he was sent to Pluto’s realm when he died, while Pollux would be sent to live among the gods. Pollux begged his father for them to be together, willing to give up his immortality for his brother. Jupiter took pity on his son and gave half of Pollux’s immortality to Castor. From then on, they would spend half the year up there,” Josie pointed once again to the constellations, “and half of the year in Elysium.”

Penelope didn’t need to know much more to know who was Pollux and who was Castor out of Josie and Lizzie. She could see Josie making the same sacrifice for Lizzie.

“Now it’s your turn,” Josie declared.

“Thjazi was a giant that made a deal with Loki to steal Idunn’s apples but ended up kidnapping Idunn. The apples are what keep the gods of Asgard youthful. When they noticed they were turning old, they immediately tried to find Idunn. Long story short, Thjazi was killed by the gods. His daughter wanted to avenge him but instead of fighting, the gods tried to compensate her. One of those gifts was from Odin who cast her father’s eyes up into the sky.”

The story was much more complicated than that and required too much explaining about things Penelope wasn’t completely sure she knew. “At least that’s what the ladies in my village told me.” Unlike Josie, Penelope didn’t get a formal education in all things religious and historic. It amazed her sometimes how much Josie knew. Reading and writing definitely weren’t things deemed important enough for Penelope to learn.

Josie looked back up at the _gemini_ and smirked. “I think I like my story better. I’m not sure how I feel about being a set of eyes,” Josie joked.

Penelope laughed and nodded. “I agree. My only problem with the _gemini_ in your stories is that somehow half of them always end up dead. I don’t like the idea of you dying very much.”

Josie smiled and gave Penelope a little kiss. “I can assure you, Lizzie and I have no plans on killing one another.”

* * *

  **TWO YEARS AGO**

“I’m sorry, Lizzie.” Josie tried to reach out to her sister but was immediately rejected. She retreated her hand as if it had been burned.

Lizzie paced back and forth in front of her, her anger radiating off of her. Josie was almost terrified her footsteps would cause the ground beneath them to collapse.

“You don’t even _like_ him!” Lizzie accused. None of this was fair. Not only was she being forced to marry someone she had absolutely no feelings for, but it had also been decided that Josie’s future husband would be their father’s heir. While the estate would be equally split, all the titles and true power was going to be Josie’s.

So when the vase hit the wall, Josie was slightly worried that Lizzie was only practising her aim to hit Josie next. “You know I would trade with you if I could,” Josie stated, nothing but utter guilt in her tone. She didn’t want any of this either.

“Can’t you change his mind? You at least like being around Milton.”

“You know it wasn’t pater’s choice. He let the boys choose.”

“That was stupid,” Lizzie sighed. She knew her sister was telling the truth and no matter how upset she was, Josie wasn’t to blame.

 _They_ were.

“It was,” Josie agreed. She didn’t expect much but their father could have at least given them a chance to decide some part of their own destiny. Once again, things were decided for them and they were powerless to fight it. “I’m really sorry, Lizzie. You know I don’t want any of this.”

Lizzie looked over at her sister and softened. “I know.” She pulled Josie into a hug and apologized for scaring her.

“It’s okay,” she reassured. Lizzie had always had problems controlling her temper but no matter how violent she became to the poor items around her, she had never actually hurt Josie.

“Is it safe to come in yet?” a voice called out to them from behind the door.

Lizzie groaned, causing Josie to smile. “Yes.”

Hope entered the room and surveyed the damage. Unlike Josie, Hope had no such magical twin guarantee that vases and other sharp objects wouldn’t smash or impale her during one of Lizzie’s tantrums.

“If it makes either of you feel better, I would have definitely asked your father to marry you both,” Hope joked.

“I couldn’t think of a worse fate so yes, it does make me feel better,” Lizzie shot back. Still, she was smiling and there were hints of gratitude in her eyes. They might have pretended to hate each other and their bickering often took centre stage whenever the two were together but they loved each other nevertheless.

“Now let’s get to work,” Lizzie suddenly announced, causing both Josie and Hope to stare at her in confusion.

Lizzie smirked, giving Josie and Hope the look that they knew so terrifyingly well. Lizzie was out for blood and they were automatically conscripted to her cause. “Just because we can’t avoid it, doesn’t mean we can’t give them hell getting there. I’ve come up with a plan and this will require a total of eight months of build-up and lots and lots of wine.”

Josie dreaded to know what concoction Lizzie was brewing in her mind but she knew it was going to work. Lizzie’s plans always worked, for better or for worse.

* * *

 Ever since they had confessed their love, it had been harder to keep their hands off each other. Their routine remained mostly the same but every action and reaction had an added level of emotion. The yearning had also become stronger so while they knew that they should be more careful than before, they couldn’t manage any additional effort.

Perhaps knowing they were doomed made it less scary to be moving towards that fate.

“So this is what you’ve been keeping from me.”

Penelope and Josie couldn’t separate fast enough. Their eyes were full of terror at the sight of Lizzie standing there, her hands on her hips, looking rather bemused.

“L-Lizzie! I can ex—“

“No need to, Josie. I’m quite certain walking in on my sister knuckle deep in someone else is the only explanation I need.”

Josie was absolutely mortified. There was no way either Penelope and her were going to get out of it. This had to be the end.

Lizzie didn’t say a single word and marched out of the bath. If Josie wanted to talk to her, she knew where she would find her. She had been hoping to surprise her sister with a visit but clearly, she was the one that was meant to be surprised.

It didn’t take long for Penelope and Josie to scramble after her, their hearts pounding a thousand miles a minute—they practically burst into Lizzie’s room.

Lizzie for all her surprise wasn’t completely freaking out. She was sat comfortably on one of her couches, her head facing away from them.

Josie immediately placed herself in eyesight and took the seat in front of her sister. Josie’s eyes were still wide and it was clear she was terrified. Penelope was standing at her side, her hand placed comfortingly on Josie’s shoulder.

“So you’ve been having sex with your slave?” Lizzie questioned, her brow raised.

Despite knowing that it would have been better to accept what Lizzie said, Josie shook her head. “It’s not just sex.” It was more than that and she didn’t want Penelope to think otherwise.

Lizzie pressed her lips together. “What would our parents think knowing _you’re_ the sister having an affair? And with a girl too...” Her eyes went up to Penelope who wouldn’t look away from Josie. She was worried, it was obvious.

“Are you going to tell them?” Josie couldn’t meet her sister’s eyes. She wasn’t worried for herself. She was worried about what her parents would do to Penelope.

“Why would I?”

Josie blinked and looked up. “Because it’s wrong?” She wasn’t expecting her sister to be so calm about it.

“You’re allowed to be happy, Josie.” Lizzie furrowed her brows. “It’s unexpected and a bit weird, sure,” she glanced up at Penelope before returning her eyes to Josie, “but you’re my sister. I’m not going to let the views of a bunch of balding potato sacks dictate what I believe in. I’m perfectly right all on my own.”

Lizzie actually felt kind of hurt that her sister didn’t trust her. They had been close for so long and while they tried to remain so, marriage had, in some ways, ripped them apart. She moved so that she could sit next to her sister, taking her hand in her own. “Pater’s enemies will destroy you if this came out but I’m not your enemy, Josie. I can't believe you thought I would actually do something to hurt you. I know I'm a terrible sister and all-”

"You aren't that terrible," Josie interjected.

Lizzie smiled, "regardless, I love you."

Josie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had spent so long fearing the worst and believing the worst that it didn’t occur to her that she could be wrong.

Seeing that her sister was still stunned, Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Sappho, why do you worship Aphrodite, who is the happiest?”

Josie smiled, that one line reminding Josie of all the times her and Lizzie would giggle at the silly love poems they would read when they were younger. "I love you too."

Seeing her sister smile, Lizzie returned it. “Great. Now that that’s done with, let’s talk about what I was actually here to talk about: me.”

The laugh that came from Josie was all Lizzie needed to hear to know her sister would be fine. She looked up at Penelope. “She has to go though.”

Josie frowned. “What? Why?”

“Well, now that she’s not just a piece of furniture,” she looked over at Penelope, “no offence.” Penelope shrugged. It was basically true—no one cared what she heard. “We can’t have her around when discussing sisterly stuff. Firstly, we are now enemies for your attention so I need your focus on me when you’re with me. Secondly, how are you supposed to gossip about all the details of your life with your sex life standing right there?”

Josie pouted but what Lizzie said did make sense.Besides, her sister was being awfully supportive and Josie didn’t want to sour that in any way. She looked back at Penelope apologetically, to which Penelope simply shrugged again. She leaned down and kissed Josie on her head. “Come get me when you’re done.”

Lizzie waited until the door closed behind them before playfully shoving her sister. “Details. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gemini is literally latin for twins  
> Elysium - the part of the underworld where heroes go  
> Jupiter - Roman Zeus  
> Loki - do I really have to define him?  
> Idunn - Norse goddess of youth and apples
> 
> I hope you all enjoy !


	14. qui tacet consentire videtur - he who is silent is taken to agree

“I see you’re settling in.”

Penelope’s eyes widened when she recognized the voice, looking up from her seat to see a very happy Landon standing at the entrance of the room. “What are you doing back here?” Her first thought was that Rafael had to be back as well for Landon to be here. Josie had not gotten news of this but it wouldn’t be surprising if plans changed at the last minute.

“Ouch, it’s like you don’t want me here.”

Penelope sighed. “It’s not that. I just… didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“The dominus needed some business taken care of back here and he didn’t want to bother the domina,” Landon explained, easily sliding into the seat next to Penelope.

“And he sent you?” Penelope did not expect that someone like Landon would be allowed to take care of important business—at least business that would actually bother Josie.

“You know you’re not the only slave that is a special confidant to their master,” Landon retorted.

All Penelope could think of at that moment was the comment Lizzie made about Raf using Landon to release stress. She had to stop herself from laughing.

“I’m not as useless as I look. I might not have your muscles but I learned how to handle businesses alongside Raf.” Landon liked to think that he was one of those rare invaluable slaves. “I tend to do the work he doesn’t want to do… actually, I kind of tend to handle all the work because he hates paperwork and math.”

Penelope raised her brow. “Doesn’t it bother you? Having all these skills yet you’re still a slave?” As much as she liked spending time with Josie, it definitely got to her that her actual talents were being wasted and utterly unappreciated. She trained her entire life to be something better than a housewife and now she was just a glorified one. “Why doesn’t he free you so that you can work for him with dignity?”

Landon shook his head. “You’re lucky.”

“I’m lucky?” Now Penelope was definitely curious.

“Yeah. You skipped the part where they take away all your sense of dignity. Pride doesn’t really matter much when… Josie hasn’t taken you near an auction, huh?” For once, Landon wasn’t smiling. It was actually pretty alarming since Landon seemed to be able to always see the bright side of everything (annoyingly so). “I’m just happy that I got to be educated and given more value than most.”

“Are you trying to scare her away, Landon?” Josie’s voice came from behind them.

Landon immediately stood up and grinned at Josie. “Quite the opposite. I’m trying to convince her that life isn’t all that bad.”

Josie furrowed her brow. Was there something Penelope was upset with and wasn’t telling her? “What are you two talking about?”

While Penelope shied away from answering, Landon faced no such hesitation. “We were talking about how she’s lucky.”

“Lucky, how?” Josie was just as confused as Penelope was. Josie considered it her luck that Penelope was at her side but she knew the cost Penelope had to pay for it. Frankly, Penelope’s life would have been much better if any part of Josie’s world had never touched her.

(No matter how much that thought hurt.)

“I would rather not talk about it. You know how Raf got me.”

Josie immediately frowned, giving him a firm nod. “I’m sorry for asking.”

Penelope looked at both of them, confused.

“It’s okay. I’m happy now and that’s what matters.” He got up and gave Josie a little bow. “Should I help you move your things?”

Josie shook her head. “Tell Mariana that I’ll be arriving tomorrow. The rest will be handled by the others.”

Landon nodded and gave Penelope a small wave before disappearing out the door.

“What was that about?”

Josie bit her bottom lip. “I have to go back home now.”

“Back home?” Considering they were standing in Josie’s room, she couldn’t imagine how much more home Josie could be at.

“Yeah…” Josie nervously looked away.

“Josie…”

“This is actually my parents’ home. Rafael has his own domus a few minutes from here. I’m actually supposed to be there.”

Penelope blinked. So this entire time, Josie was actually avoiding her home? “So… wait… what’s actually happening?”

Josie quickly shook her head. “Nothing! We are just moving out of my parents’ estate. My mom was being super nice by letting me stay here. It technically isn’t my home anymore.” Josie looked around the room. “This will always be my room for when I visit but I’ve been ignoring my actual duties since I got back.”

“And you failed to mention this because…?”

“It’s not a big deal. It’s just a change in environment.” Josie hoped Penelope wasn’t actually mad at her. She hadn’t expected to have to go back. Some wars took the men away for years and it wasn’t uncommon for lonely daughters to want to stay with their parents when their husbands were away. If anything, it kept them from getting divorced.

Penelope sighed, doing her best not to get upset. “Jojo… I’m not allowed to make decisions anymore… You have to at least give me the freedom of knowing everything I need to.” She didn’t know how to explain it to Josie. Penelope’s life was now so out of her control that she needed to at least be fully informed of how her life would be. Knowledge at least gave her the illusion of control.

“I know… I’m sorry.” She took Penelope’s hands in her own and squeezed them. “I just didn’t want to ruin our moods by talking about… you know.”

“I know. It’s just hard having these huge decisions made for me. Even my father never made any serious decisions without consulting me first. I’m not used to it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. It just never came up and to be honest… that place has never felt like home. I’m not comfortable there. In my mind, this will always be my home.”

Penelope looked down at their tangled hands and nodded. “It’s okay.” Now that she mentioned her father, Penelope was also reminded of that promise that she had made to him. She was hesitant to bring it up but now seemed like as good of a time as ever. “You and Rafael clearly don’t treat Landon as an object. Why have you never freed him?” she asked, figuring it was an easier topic to start with.

Josie shrugged. “It just doesn’t occur to people like us. By the time Raf had the legal right to do so, my pater implemented his new rules and it was too late. Landon doesn’t care so it doesn’t really matter.”

“New rules?”

Josie awkwardly looked away. She knew she was the bad person in this situation and it was hard to face Penelope when admitting so. “I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that Rome’s economy runs on slaves.” Penelope nodded. That much was too painfully obvious. “We get most of our slaves from conquests and in the past few decades, we’ve had… well, fewer places to conquer.” As shallow as it sounded, Rome had conquered most of the known world that they cared to conquer. Almost anything else was just excessive and a waste of resources.

“People were releasing their slaves a lot and not only did that affect the economy because we weren’t importing enough to make up for the lost labour, but it was also influencing the citizenry. Conservative senators and citizens didn’t appreciate all the foreign blood that was flowing into the political system and pater had to figure out a way to…”

Josie’s eyes averted to the ground. “Basically, we can’t free slaves without providing very good reasons to do so.” 

“So if I asked you to free me, could you do it?”

Josie’s eyes snapped up to Penelope, at a complete loss of what to say. “I…” Could she do it? Josie didn’t know… she didn’t want to know if she were being honest with herself. She didn’t want to consider losing Penelope no matter how terribly selfish it seemed. “Aren’t you happy with me?”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“I can’t go against my pater’s own rules. People would think he’s hypocritical.”

“Not even for me?” Josie couldn’t look Penelope in the eye. She was terrified and Penelope could see it. “What are you so scared of? That people would talk?”

Josie nodded. She didn’t want to say more—she didn’t want to reveal just how terribly selfish she was—but she also knew that Penelope was right and that she was at least owed the truth. She couldn't give her her freedom but the truth was something she could give her. “I’m afraid of losing you.”

Penelope blinked, not at all expecting that answer. “How would you lose me?” It was crazy to think of. Josie was the only thing that still mattered in Penelope’s life that she could actually do something about.

“I’m… I’m the daughter of the person who took everything away from you. Why would you want to stay with me? You said your happiness was back home… I wouldn’t blame you for running away the moment you could.”

Penelope’s eyes softened. She pulled her hands away from Josie just so that she could cup her cheek and force her to look at her. “My home doesn’t exist anymore.” It was sad but it was true. There was nothing there for her anymore. “And I love you. I don’t think I could leave you even if I tried.”

Josie tried to look for any signs of dishonesty in Penelope’s eyes but there were none. As desperate as Josie was to keep Penelope with her, Penelope had no actual intentions of leaving. “I love you too.” Penelope had made her happier than she knew she could be and she didn’t think she would be able to return to her normal routine if she lost her. It was too much.

“If it’s something you can’t do, then I will leave it at that,” Penelope offered. At the end of the day, she would be sticking around Josie regardless so it made little difference if she was free or not. Her heart wasn’t and if things were easier just leaving it be, then Penelope would leave it be.

“I will try,” Josie promised. She couldn’t be selfish and she had to trust that what Penelope was saying was true. As hard as it was for her to believe that Penelope loved her so much that she would be willing to stay in this horrible situation, she wasn’t allowed to doubt her nor was she allowed to place her own needs above Penelope’s.

“But only if I know that you will have the proper legal rights. For now, it’s easier for you to remain mine so that I’m the only one that you have to account to. No one can hurt you or demand anything of you as long as you’re mine.” Penelope was under Josie’s jurisdiction and while Penelope didn’t have legal rights, Josie did and that meant that she could protect her.

Penelope smiled. “Thank you.”

After a few moments, something suddenly occurred to Penelope. “Please tell me I don’t have to share a room with Landon again.”

Josie giggled. “Of course not. You’ll be in mine. We just have to be more careful because Landon is really bad at knocking.”

“Great…”

“On the bright side, he’d probably panic and look away before seeing anything suspicious.” Josie wasn’t worried so there was no reason for Penelope to worry.

“How are you so sure?”

“Experience. He’s caught me and my sisters in various states of undress before. I don’t think I’ve seen a man faint as quickly as he does.”

Penelope nodded. “I can relate.”

“Hey! What does that mean?” Josie asked, somewhat offended.

“I’m not blind, Josie. You and your sisters are… quite a sight.”

“Are you telling me your eyes have been wandering?” Josie pouted.

“It's either you and your sisters or the various penises and sex positions on the walls. I’m not ashamed of my choices.”

Josie’s lips pressed into a line before sighing. “I guess that’s true. I’m the prettiest though,” Josie demanded.

“I don’t know… Hope’s kind of my type,” Penelope teased, loving Josie’s little jealous display.

“Is that so?” Josie’s eyes suddenly darkened as she inched closer towards Penelope.

“I can be persuaded,” Penelope added, playing innocent.

Josie smirked before suddenly sitting up. “Well, I don’t need to persuade anyone. I’ll just go have a bath on my own.” She got up and casually walked out of the room, leaving a completely dumbfounded but utterly in love Penelope behind her.

Penelope didn’t think confidence had ever looked so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... I don't think I need to put anything here.
> 
> But if you have questions, please feel free to ask!


	15.  iunctaque semper erunt nomina nostra tuis - our names will always be linked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a Canadian and Torontonian, I am required by law to scream, "WE THE NORTH!"

“Out of all the people you could have taken with you, why me? I can’t even read,” Penelope complained, wondering how she was roped into doing chores with Landon. Josie insisted that she should go out and enjoy her time without her but Penelope much preferred the company of Josie over Landon.

“Because you need some fresh air.”

“I could get that in the atrium,” Penelope deadpanned.

“Don’t you want to experience the city without standing beside a litter?” Landon reasoned.

Penelope definitely couldn’t tell him she had already done so with Josie. “I saw plenty from Josie’s ridiculously high balcony.” It was true. Penelope tended to have nothing better to do than people watch from the castle above the hill. Josie was a very low maintenance domina and while Penelope was grateful that she wasn’t completely and utterly spoiled, it made life rather boring for her.

“Yes, but that’s not experiencing it.”

Penelope sighed. She was indeed stuck. “Fine, but you’re doing all the talking. I can’t stand the people here.”

“They aren’t that bad when they aren’t rich people.” Penelope was sceptical but what did she know? She saw everything as a fly on Josie’s wall and Josie’s environment was very limited.

While they walked, Penelope noticed a group of people gathered around a few men talking. “What’s going on there?”

“Oh, it’s just a trial. Trust me, you don’t want to get involved. All the orators do is talk and argue about the law. It’s incredibly boring,” Landon explained.

“You’re not interested in the laws that affect you?” Penelope asked.

“Not at all because they don’t affect us. Our laws are our masters’ words. We can’t be tried for anything we do. Our masters are expected to punish us accordingly.” That was definitely information Penelope was going to store. Not that she would cause trouble for Josie but it was comforting to know that Josie was being strategic about her freedom. No one really could lay a hand on her without Josie’s permission.

Penelope was about to walk away when she recognized one of the orators. “It’s Milton and Lizzie,” Penelope commented. Lizzie was by the sidelines, watching her husband with a sly look in her eyes.

Landon looked over and nodded. “Yeah. Raf tells me he’s a great lawyer. He’s written a few books actually. Lizzie helps him with all his trials and speeches.”

“She helps him?” Penelope was genuinely surprised that there was more going on in Lizzie’s mind than the next trends in Roman fashion.

“Yeah, Lizzie is terrifying if you get her into a debate. It’s not her attractiveness that has Milton completely dominated.”

So maybe Penelope was beginning to respect Lizzie just a bit.

As much as Penelope knew that it was a bad question, she couldn’t help but ask, just to prepare herself. “What are Rafael and Josie like when they are together? Do they do stuff like this too?” She had caught glimpses of them but never together long enough to really know how they were as a married couple. Josie never talked about it.

“Oh, they are great. Josie’s like an encyclopedia. When she was at camp, they would discuss battle strategies together and she was great at making sure they didn’t repeat any mistakes their ancestors did. She also helps him understand the reasons behind her father’s policies. Raf trusts her completely.”

That was exactly what Penelope didn’t want to hear. She knew that Josie was brilliant but to know that she really was amazing by Rafael’s side made Penelope’s heart squeeze painfully. They were really a good match. Even if they didn’t love each other, they respected one another and that was powerful on its own.

“Cato once said, ‘all men rule over women, we Romans rule over all men, and our wives rule over us.’ All of them would be so lost without their wives.”

Nothing Landon was saying made Penelope feel better and she kind of regretted asking. The only comfort was that if anything were to happen to them, Josie would be completely fine with her husband. Their affection for one another was clear and Penelope could only imagine it growing after they had kids together. Penelope knew falling for Josie would be painful but she had almost managed to forget.

_She may be Josie’s but Josie wasn’t hers._

“Are you okay? You look kind of upset,” Landon asked, realizing that Penelope had gone completely silent.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

Landon didn’t look convinced but he dropped it anyway. He didn’t want to pry.

“Landon!”

Landon immediately froze, his eyes widened when they landed on none other than Hope. “H-Hope! Hi!” he nervously greeted.

“I didn’t know you were back in the city,” she briefly glanced over at Penelope and gave her a smile—one that Penelope returned. After Lizzie found out, it was only natural that Hope found out too and she had been equally cool with it. If anything, she knew a bit about how hard it was to have affections for someone across the aisle.

“Yeah... I just, um, I just got back!”

Penelope couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him. He really was a bit of a wreck. Luckily for him, Hope was just as much of a wreck, her dorky giggles only reserved for him (even if he didn’t know it). Figuring that Landon needed a bit of a push she literally pushed him forward. “Why don’t you two catch up? I think I can find my way around here.”

“Are you sure?” Landon asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she dismissed, waving him off before going her own way. She needed time to her own anyway.

Much like when she was out with Josie, no one paid Penelope any mind. She was freely able to walk around and take in the environment around her. Rome really was a city that just never slept. Everywhere she looked, people were working or doing something. Unlike the rich, the common people tried to avoid being at home as often as possible. There was much more fun available on the streets.

Penelope aimlessly walked until she ended up in a part of the market she hadn’t visited before. Of course, it didn’t take her long to figure out why. Men, women, and children were lined up completely naked, plaques on their necks and chains around their wrists as people walked around them, poking and prodding. This was the market that Landon had been talking about.

“Something tells me you don’t belong here.”

Penelope looked up at the man who had been speaking. He looked like any other rich Roman man and Penelope had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She looked back at the auction. “Why do you say that?”

“You’re not Roman. The only non-Romans here are the ones up there,” he answered, pointing up to the group of slaves. “You also don’t have the hands of a maiden.”

Penelope couldn’t help but look down at her hands before meeting his eyes, almost challengingly. “Then what hands do I have?”

The man smirked. “You know how to handle a sword, don’t you?”

Penelope didn’t answer.

“I’m Lorenzo. I own a local gladiatorial school. I frequent these things to find worthwhile fighters to invest in,” he explained. He looked back up at the auction and shook his head. “None of them have any potential but I can see you do.”

“Sorry, I’m not for sale,” Penelope deadpanned.

“Clearly.” Whoever this girl was, she was in a fairly comfortable place considering how she was dressed. ”But if you ever find yourself needing a job, seek me out. I’ve been running low on good trainers and female ones are rare.”

“I don’t see why you can’t train your female gladiators with the same trainer you use for your men.”

“There’s a certain finesse to fighting people twice your size. The male gladiators don’t focus on that enough.”

Penelope was not at all interested in helping people to the slaughter so she shook her head. “Thanks for the offer but I don’t believe in fighting for show.”

“Suit yourself but I’m willing to bet that once you get a taste of it, you won’t be able to go back.” The man gave her a small nod before heading closer towards the front.

With any luck, Penelope was never going to step foot inside the arena ever again, even as a spectator.

Penelope took one last glance at the auction before walking away. She was beginning to understand why Landon thought she was lucky. Josie snatched her up before anything bad could happen to her.

* * *

 It was sunset by the time Penelope got back to the estate. She hadn’t realized she had been walking around for so long but it was a nice break from being confined in Josie’s home. While she had a lot to think about, she didn’t do any of it while she was walking. It was her moment to be free and she wasn’t going to waste it on thinking about her current circumstances.

“I was beginning to get worried.” Josie stood up from her spot in the atrium, happy to see Penelope back safe and sound.

“Sorry I was out so late.”

“No, it’s fine! I’m glad you were enjoying yourself. I was just worried you were lost or something.” Josie could tell something was off but she didn’t want to question it. Penelope clearly didn’t seem like she was in a mood to talk.

“I’m fine but I’m also kind of tired. Do you mind if I call it a night?”

Josie gave Penelope a soft smile. “Of course not. I’ll join you.”

They both remained silent for a few minutes as they lay on the bed.

“Are you okay?” Josie said, finally breaking the silence.

“I’m okay.” Penelope turned around so that they were facing each other. “Can we never separate?” she suddenly asked, causing Josie to smile.

“Did you miss me that much?”

Penelope smiled. “I did, but I was asking because things feel so hopeless when you’re not with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I’m with you, all I can think about is how much I love you and how nothing else matters,” Penelope started. Josie couldn’t help but blush at Penelope’s words. They were so sincere and Penelope’s love was more than she deserved. “But when you’re not around, everything else starts to sink in and I begin to doubt us.”

Josie leaned forward and kissed Penelope. “I know things can never be perfect but I also know that I love you and I have no doubt that we are meant to be together.”

“But it’ll never be just us.”

“We don’t know that.” Josie was terrified of the consequences but as her love grew, her ability to care about the consequences faded. She wasn’t ready to face them yet but maybe one day she would.

Penelope’s eyes were questioning as she stared at Josie, unable to comprehend her answer.

“We don’t know the future, Penelope. All we have is now and I know that whatever future may come, it would be worth it because I got to spend these moments with you.”

“Since when did you become the romantic one?”

“I’ve always been the romantic one. You just think you’re so smooth that you haven’t noticed.”

Penelope smirked. “Fair enough.”

 

With a soft smile on her lips, Josie leaned forward and kissed Penelope. “I ask but right, let her that caught me late.” 

“Either love, or cause that I may never hate.” Another kiss.

“I ask too much, would she but let me love her.” Josie met Penelope’s eyes, the question clearly in view.

“Love knows with such like prayers, I daily move her.” Josie continued the poem as she moved down Penelope’s body, placing a kiss after every line.

 

“Accept her that will serve thee all her youth,

Accept her that will love with spotless truth;

If lofty titles cannot make me thine,

That am descended but of knightly line.

Soon may you plow the little lands I have,

I gladly grant my parents given to save,

Apollo, Bacchus, and the Muses may,

And Cupid who hath marked me for thy pray,

My spotless life, which but to the Gods give place,

Naked simplicity, and modest grace.

 

I love but one, and her I love change never,

If men have faith, lie live with thee for ever.

The years that fatal destiny shall give,

Lie live with thee, and die, or thou shalt grieve.

Be thou the happy subject of my books,

That I may write things worthy thy fair looks.

 

By verses horned Jo got her name,

And she to whom in the shape of a swan Jove came.

And she that on a faint bull swam to land,

Gripping his horn with her virgin hand:

So likewise we will through the world be rung,

And with my name shall thine be always sung.”***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Ovidius, Elegy III  
> The ending is a bit confusing - basically the poem describes some of the well-known love stories of the time and how the poet wishes that the lover and their name will forever be linked together.
> 
> This isn't actually the original poem in its entirety (because it's a latin poem from 1st century BCE). It is a translation by people way smarter than me and I made a few changes to try to clear up some of the writing but the messages are generally the same.
> 
> There's a reason why Ovidius was Shakespeare's favourite poet.


	16. salus populi suprema lex esto - the welfare of the people is to be the highest law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to post this before I convinced myself not to.

Penelope watched near the temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus as the soldiers rode forward. The entire city had been preparing for _transvectio equitum_ for the past month and today was the culmination of it all. It was a military holiday to celebrate the _equestrian_ class and Penelope was not at all surprised by the fact that it was basically just a bunch of young spoiled men parading around the city on horses. She was sure that there was some cultural and historical significance to it all but it just seemed like another Roman way of wasting time and entertaining the masses.

Her eyes remained on the head of the group at her place atop the hill, waiting for Josie to finally arrive on it. For some odd reason, the pontifices decided that Josie and Lizzie, Rome’s own pair of royal gemini, should head the parade of boys. Nevertheless, it was an honour they couldn’t refuse and there was no way that Augustus would dismiss a chance to add any level of holiness to his name.

Her eyes went to the man, remembering how much she hated him when she had met him. Her feelings towards him had not changed much but over the past few days, she had at least grown to respect him. While he was the main reason Josie’s life was oppressed the way it was, he was also undoubtedly a great man amongst great men, and even a better father than most. There were nothing but smiles on the twins’ faces when their father rode in and he single-mindedly was focused on greeting his girls despite the assembly his return had commanded.

The first day was for his family and state business could wait.

He spent the entire day chatting with his family, catching up on their daily lives and reiterating how proud of them he was. No matter how biased Penelope was towards him, she could see that there was nothing but love in his eyes for his daughters and though duty often got in the way and clouded his affection for them, without the weight of the world on his shoulders, it was clear he would do anything for them.

Well, almost anything.

As if he could sense Penelope’s eyes on him, Alaric looked over to her but he revealed nothing of what was going on his mind. After the first night, Josie had requested that he officiated Penelope’s freedom and the man instantly refused. Despite Josie’s protest, Alaric had his reasons and patiently explained it to her.

It was too soon to be releasing the daughter of the chief. Loyalty was not easily forgotten and as long as the chief was still alive, Penelope’s status as his daughter would not fade. Symbols were powerful in rebellions and a wronged daughter was a powerful symbol. He needed submission from her and he had it so why should he needlessly give it away?

As long as Josie kept hold of Penelope’s heart, Penelope knew that he would always have it.

Penelope’s fists clenched and she looked away, her eyes desperately returning to the one thing that made this situation bearable. Josie was at the helm, in the regalia specially designed for this one occasion. She was dressed as a true Roman, streaks of royal purple blended in with the gold and red of legionary colours. She was truly a sight upon her pure white horse.

Everything had been going well and the horses were just a few steps away from the end when a scream erupted from the crowd. A man ran through the people, crying and pointing at the direction he had come from. All eyes were drawn to the cloud of smoke that was fuming from the Temple of Pollux and Castor. The sight was enough to make the crowds scatter in fear, the soldiers immediately looking up at their Augustus for guidance.

Alaric didn’t hesitate to move and immediately commanded the situation, dispersing his guards with clear instructions on how to handle the situation. While the streets were crowded, the one benefit to a fire breaking out on during this festival was that many of the soldiers available in Rome were already on horseback and ready to fight it.

Josie and Lizzie were ushered to safety and Penelope immediately followed their entourage to their location. It took a while to get through the crowds, but they eventually broke through. Without hesitation, Penelope ran up to Josie who was comforting her anxious horse. Penelope was slightly jealous of the horse because she herself was ten levels of anxious and could use Josie’s comfort herself.

“ _Domina_!” she called out, catching Josie’s attention.

Josie offered her a quick nod before handing the horse off to the stable boy and gliding towards her.

 _“_ Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. The horses got a bit scared though. They aren’t used to dealing with such chaos.”

Penelope couldn’t help but roll her eyes. A fire had just broken out, Josie was stuck in a panicking crowd, and all she could worry about was the horses. “I was asking about you.”

Josie’s head finally snapped away from the animals and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. The guards guided Lizzie and I away before we could even offer to help.” The fact that they weren’t allowed to brought a frown to Josie’s face but she understood that perhaps her and her sister would only get in the way. Playing a hero didn’t mean that she actually was one.

The two of them stayed together as the problem was sorted out. Lizzie had Milton by her side and was more annoyed at the interruption than anything, while her mother anxiously waited for her father to return. No one knew what was happening.

It took an hour for the fire to be put out but when it had, a crowd immediately formed by the temple. While most of it was fine, the statue of Castor had been completely burned. It was still standing but a dark shadow of his brother. At the top of the stairs, the pontifices have gathered around a very upset Alaric as well as a woman Penelope didn’t recognize.

“What’s going on?” Penelope asked.

Josie shrugged. “I don’t know.” She looked over at her sister who nodded at her in silent agreement.

They both headed up the stairs to meet with their father but the moment they got close, Alaric hushed the pontifices and called Caroline to guide them away. Whatever was happening, Penelope knew that it wasn’t good.

The longer the group remained talking amongst themselves, the more the crowds began to whisper. It was especially clear that Alaric was getting worked up and Penelope had never seen the man that angry. She did not envy the people who were on the receiving end.

Senators began to gather around the pontifices and Alaric was powerless to stop them, except one. The moment Milton entered the group, he was just as quickly shooed away and sent towards the twins instead.

Penelope climbed up the stairs towards the twins, Hope joining at her side. “What’s going on?”

Hope shook her head. “I don’t know but I’ve never seen pater that angry before.” Alaric wasn’t an impatient man and rarely let his emotions get the best of him. Hope was about to say more when a scream stopped them all in their tracks.

At some point, Caroline had returned to the men and overheard their conversation. Alaric immediately ran over to Caroline and held her, doing his best to hold her together as the men around them looked at her with pity in their eyes.

Hope didn’t hesitate and ran up the stairs, gesturing for Penelope to follow. Something bad was happening and they needed to know what.

Lizzie and Josie were equally alarmed by their mother’s sudden reaction and was about to run up to them when guards stopped them. Hope and Penelope could only run to their sides as they demanded to see their mother.

“Girls,” Alaric ordered, stepping in front of the guards. He was clearly shaken and Caroline still looked like she couldn’t even breathe. “Take your mother home.”

“What’s going—“

“Just go!” Alaric practically shouted. The action stunned Lizzie and she took a step back. Almost instantly, a look of regret flashed across Alaric’s face. “I will talk to both of you later.” He looked down at Caroline. “I’m sorry…” Alaric nodded at the guards and they saluted him before helping the group out. Whatever was happening, it was clear Alaric didn’t want any of them around.

The last thing they heard before they were out of earshot was, “The _cumaean sibyl_ has an announcement for the people of Rome...”

* * *

The moment they made it home, Caroline had passed out and all they could do was helplessly wait outside her door as the doctor tended to her. No one would tell them what was going on and every second felt like an eternity. Something bad was happening and if it was bad enough to shake their father and mother, it had to be really, really bad.

Their silence was only broken when Landon came bursting through the front door, complete panic on his face. Great, another pancaking face...

“Landon, whatever is going on—“ Penelope couldn’t finish it before he pushed past her.

“Domina!”

Josie frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“The Sibyl… she—“ Landon’s eyes were wide and it was clear that he was struggling to find the words to explain what was happening.

Hope walked forward and grabbed both his arms. “Landon, calm down. What’s happening?”

As if Hope’s words were commands, he took a few deep breaths, concentrating only on her. It took him a minute or two but he was finally able to control his breathing.

“The Sibyl… she said that Apollo sent her a sign, that’s why she’s here.” Penelope had no idea what any of that meant but by the look from everyone’s faces, it was obvious that it was incredibly important.

“She told…” Landon had to glance back at Hope, who immediately reached for his hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze. He looked down at it and squeezed it back. “She told the people of Rome that the gods demand a sacrifice…” His eyes went up to Josie and Lizzie. “That today was a sign.”

“Just spit it out, Landon!” Lizzie demanded, unable to take any of this suspense for much longer.

Before Landon could say anything, Alaric approached from behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back. “It’s the destiny of the gemini. One must die so that the other can achieve greatness and ensure the survival of Romulus’ state.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> equestrian- kind of the roman equivalent of knight  
> cumaean sibyl - one of the most well-respected oracles in Ancient Rome
> 
> Special thanks to Gabby for noticing every time I foreshadowed this moment but still screaming when she got there.
> 
> To be honest, I'm not completely confident in this plot. I had this planned from the start but don't know if I like it. 
> 
> Gosh, where's an editor to hold my hand when I need one?
> 
> Feedback please! Even if it's to tell me this is stupid and that I should re-plan and re-write things.


	17. ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt - the fates lead the willing and drag the unwilling

The silence that swept through the atrium was suffocating. Everyone needed a few seconds to understand what Alaric had just said. Sacrifice? Death? 

“You’ve got to be joking, pater.” Lizzie was the first one to speak. Her uncomfortable laugh was borderline hysteric and her pleading eyes told everyone that she genuinely hoped her pater was joking and wasn’t seriously considering...

“I’m not.” Alaric couldn’t look his daughters in the eye. For all his power, he couldn’t go against the will of the gods. He couldn’t expect the people of Rome to sacrifice their sons in war if he couldn’t sacrifice his own children. His duty was to Rome. His entire family’s duty was to Rome. 

Josie knew it all too well. Their first duty was to Rome so if it meant that one of them had to be sacrificed, her pater would do it. She looked over at Penelope, watching as her lover tried to make sense of it all in her head. Either Josie or Lizzie had to die and Penelope was not going to take it sitting down. Josie immediately grabbed Penelope’s hand, pulling her back down from whatever thoughts were running through her head. Now was not that time to react.

“When will it happen?” Josie asked.

“Never because it’s not happening,” Lizzie interjected. “I’m not dying and Josie’s not dying.” 

“Agreed. Who cares what the Sibyl said?” Hope added. “She doesn’t get to decide who lives or dies.” This was crazy. They weren’t actually going to kill someone based off the words of one woman. 

“The pontifices agreed with her,” Alaric stated. 

“So what? You’re the _ pontifex maximus _ , you overrule them all!”  Lizzie’s fists were clenched, unable to believe that her father was actually fighting against them on this point. “We’re your daughters, pater. You can’t let them do this to us!” 

“I have no choice.”

“They aren’t putting a knife to your throat, pater. Just tell them no!” Lizzie was getting increasingly angry and Milton watched helplessly by her side. The thought of his wife dying was more than he could take but he also knew that once the senate had settled on something this important, even Alaric couldn’t change their minds.

Alaric simply ignored Lizzie and turned to Josie. “I’m recalling Rafael from the field. He needs to be here for this.” 

Josie simply nodded. 

Penelope knew that look that was on Josie’s face. She was resigned. There was no way in hell Penelope was going to let Josie just give in. “You can’t seriously—“ 

“Silence!” Alaric demanded, his eyes full of rage. He couldn’t look at his daughters without feeling guilty but Penelope? She meant nothing. He was doing his best to hide his rage but he wasn’t going to let anyone make the situation worse, no less a slave. “You have no right to speak here.” 

Penelope was just going to argue back when Josie yanked her arm. “My apologies, pater.” She turned to Landon and gestured for him. “Please take her away.” 

Landon nodded and ran up to Penelope, placing his body between her and everyone else as he tried his best to drag her away.

“Josie…” Penelope tried to plead with her but Josie simply looked away. Penelope wouldn’t get it. As much as Josie wanted nothing more than to be in her comforting arms, Penelope was a fighter and fighting right now would only get her killed.

Landon didn’t stop until they were safely away from the masters, even as Penelope tried to fight him off. He wasn’t strong but Penelope was also small and hysterical so it evened things out. 

“Let me go!” Penelope demanded, finally able to throw Landon’s hands off of her. 

“You’re going to get yourself killed!” Landon shouted. It was the only time Penelope had ever seen him angry and it caused her to back up. “I know you want to help but getting yourself killed isn’t going to help.”

Penelope clenched her fists, hating that Landon was right. She was powerless in this situation and the last thing she needed was to put Josie in a difficult situation. “He isn’t actually going to sacrifice one of them is he?”

“Augustus would never joke around about something like this.” Landon’s eyes went to the ground. He couldn’t process it either.

Screams and smashes began to sound from the atrium and Landon flinched every time. Penelope was pacing back and forth, desperately trying to keep herself from bursting back out there and stealing Josie away. It was ridiculous. She wouldn’t make it past the guards and her impulsivity would only hurt but she hated being so powerless. 

The chaos hadn’t yet died down when Josie entered the room, her eyes devoid of emotions. “He has one year to decide,” Josie stated. In her mind, that meant that she had one year to settle things. There was no way she was going to let Lizzie die for her. Lizzie was actually happy and made for this life. 

Despite not saying it, Penelope knew Josie too well to not see the thoughts that were going through her head. “We can run! We don’t have to stick around for this.” 

Josie immediately shook her head. “If we run, we would get caught and all of you would suffer. I can’t do that. If we don’t get caught, Lizzie will die and I can’t do that to her either.” She wasn’t going to doom Lizzie to death because of her own cowardice.

“You can’t just sit around and wait to be killed.” Josie’s calm was a stark contrast to Penelope’s near hysterics and Josie knew that she had to figure out a way to calm Penelope down.

“Can you please excuse us, Landon?”

Landon looked cautiously between the two of them before nodding and heading back outside. He had a feeling that Hope could also use some company right now. 

When Landon disappeared, Josie immediately went over to Penelope and pulled her into a hug. 

Penelope pushed her away. “No, you can’t do that. You can’t just expect me to be okay with you throwing away your life like this.” Penelope didn’t want to be angry at Josie but it was so hard not to be when it felt like Josie was just giving up. 

Josie couldn’t look Penelope in the eye. She didn’t know how to explain it to her. It was out of their control. One of them had to die and Josie was certain it would be her. “I’m sorry.”

Those words snapped Penelope out of her anger and she immediately softened. “You have nothing to apologize for, Josie…” This wasn’t her fault. This was the fault of that woman and every one of those men who agreed with her, including Josie’s father. 

“It’s out of our hands now. My pater will make his decision and we will all have to live with it.” 

Watching Josie like this, so lifeless and resigned, was painful. Penelope had gotten so used to her endless smiles and childlike playfulness that she forgot that Josie had this part of her that existed much more predominantly before they had met one another. Josie was a dutiful daughter and accepted whatever life threw at her with grace and restraint. This wasn’t her Josie—this was theirs. 

She cupped Josie’s cheek and forced her to meet her eyes. “Lizzie is fighting… why won’t you?” Penelope was pleading with her. She needed to get her to understand that she was worth fighting for. Not only was her life worth fighting for, but her happiness as well. Penelope would fight by her side but even she couldn’t do it alone.

“Can you just hold me? I don’t want to think about it right now,” Josie begged. She knew she was hurting Penelope but she selfishly didn’t want to have to deal with that hurt when she was already a mess inside. 

As much as Penelope wanted to pursue it further, she could see that Josie needed her and so she nodded and moved them towards the bed.

While Josie was able to fall asleep, Penelope couldn’t stop thinking about what was going on. When Hope entered the room, Penelope felt a small level of relief in her commodore. Hope and her had bonded somewhat from the outside of the twins’ circle. When Lizzie and Josie were together, sometimes it felt like they were speaking on a completely different wavelength which left Hope and Penelope to their own devices.

“Can we talk?” she whispered.

Penelope nodded before she carefully pulled herself out of Josie’s bed and followed Hope towards her own room. The walk was silent and no one said a word until the doors were closed behind them.

“He won’t change his mind,” Hope stated. She tried her best to talk him out of it but she knew it was hopeless. If his own daughters and wife couldn’t get him to back down, there was no way she could. She looked up and met Penelope’s eyes. “You need to leave.”

Penelope’s eyes widened, caught completely by surprise. “What?”

“Josie deserves a fair chance. She’s already losing the race and you being around will only drag her even further behind.” Hope didn’t mean to sound so harsh. Frankly, she really liked Penelope and could see the happiness that she brought Josie, but this wasn’t about happiness, this was about giving Josie a fair chance to survive. 

“What do you mean?” Losing the race? How was Josie the one losing? 

“Alaric will choose based on who has a better chance of thriving. Lizzie loves her life. She loves her position and belongs in it. The spotlight is on her and everyone knows it. But Josie? Josie has always been in her shadow, acknowledged but easily forgotten.” 

Hope hated saying every single word but she knew that if she were Alaric, the choice was quite obvious. No matter how perfect Josie was, it wasn’t enough to be obedient. She had to be ambitious and tough enough to help keep their dynasty alive. Josie was a lot like her father and probably his favourite but in this world, Josie needed to be a Caroline. 

Hope was willing to bet that Josie knew all of this as well and had already resigned herself.

“Lizzie loves Milton and with the rate they are going at it, it’ll only be a matter of time before she gets pregnant. If Lizzie gets pregnant, Josie is as good as dead.” 

The words hit Penelope as if Hope were stabbing her with a knife. She knew that Hope was right. This was now a competition and Penelope was only a weakness. If Alaric ever found out about Josie and her, it would just be ten more strikes against Josie. Not only was she committing adultery—she was doing it with a girl. In this situation, it no longer meant exile or being disowned or even Penelope’s death—it meant  _ Josie’s  _ death. Josie needed to get back on track and Penelope would only keep derailing her.

Hope could see the words sinking in and she hated that she had to do this. “I can get my uncle to arrange the paperwork to free you. We can set you up somewhere far away from all of this. But you need to let Josie go. You need to give her a fighting chance.”

She reached forward and held Penelope’s hand. “I won’t force you to leave her. It’s not my decision… but I’m begging you.” For all intents and purposes, Josie was her sister and Hope would always put her well-being above anything else. Penelope was good for Josie but not good enough that it negated all the mess that would come if they were discovered.

Penelope looked down at their hands. Tears had been falling from her eyes and she could feel her heart ripping apart piece by piece. She wasn’t an idiot, she wasn’t gullible and easily manipulated. She knew Hope wasn’t being mean, nor was she being unfair. She was right. Josie had to be perfect and Penelope would always be an imperfection by Josie’s side just waiting to be seen.

“We can’t tell her.”

“Are you sure?” 

Penelope nodded. Josie wouldn’t let her go. She wouldn’t see that it was her best option. Penelope was strong enough to do this—she could pretend, she could lie. She could look Josie in the eye, stand there as her heart shattered, and not flinch. She  _ needed _ to.

Hope sighed. “I’ll start on my part.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pontifex maximus - head priest, it's kind of like how the Queen of England is the head of the Church of England
> 
> Hope/Penelope brOTP ;D


	18. et facere et pati fortia Romanum est - acting and suffering bravely is the attribute of a Roman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever gotten a stronger reaction from people than I have last chapter. I kind of like it too much ;P

Hope stayed with Penelope as she tried to get it all out. When she returned to Josie, she needed to make sure that no cracks were visible. They had a plan and Penelope would play it through. She had to leave and only had a week or so to do so. Once Rafael was back, they would push Josie into his arms and things could go back to normal. Josie would be back on track and her life could be spared.

It was dark by the time Penelope returned to Josie’s room. With Hope’s help, she was able to hide all the tears she had been shedding but it was impossible to hide the tiredness that currently defined her. That was okay though. Penelope was allowed to at least seem tired after learning that the love of her life might die in a year.

“Penelope?” Josie looked up from the bed, relieved to see her back. She had awoken to an empty bed and while she should have been used to it, it terrified her to be alone right now. Josie had never considered what death would be like but she imagined it would feel like that: alone. If she had forever to be that way, she wasn’t going to let this year go to waste.

Penelope climbed on the bed and opened her arms for Josie to snuggle into them. “I’m here.” Penelope wouldn’t be around much longer but she was here right now and that was what mattered.

“Are you mad at me?” Josie’s words came out weak. She knew Penelope had to be upset at how things turned out and the fact that Josie was doing nothing was probably more upsetting than anything else. Penelope was a person of action and Josie’s inaction must have been annoying.

“I’m not mad at you,” Penelope stated. She leaned down and placed a kiss on Josie’s head. “I’m mad at everyone else. This is stupid. You shouldn’t be in this position.” They shouldn’t be in this position. Penelope was prepared for everything society could throw at them—except for this. How could she ever predict this? “How aren’t you mad?”

Josie shook her head. “I am mad. But I also know we all have our roles to play. The Republic is my home and I have to duty towards it.” Many people have sacrificed their lives for Rome and so Josie didn’t see what made her any different. A promise to the Gods was expected to be kept.

Before Penelope could reply, there was a knock on the door. They separated slightly before calling out to the person and in slipped Lizzie.

“Jo…” It was clear that her sister had been crying and Penelope knew why she was here. Sometimes, their ultimate comfort was each other.

Josie looked up at Penelope and nodded, prompting Penelope to leave the room to give the two of them time to process. She didn’t want to leave, especially after managing to finally get back, but her wants weren’t important right now. What was important was that someone give Josie a reason to fight and maybe her only competition could do it.

When she returned to check in on them, both Josie and Lizzie were lying in each other’s arms, fast asleep. Penelope didn’t stay in Josie’s room that night.

* * *

 It was harder to engage in their routine the next morning. Every step felt slower and every movement heavier. Penelope couldn’t focus on anything other than the impending doom she felt. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking and no matter how much she willed herself not to show a single sign of sadness so that it wouldn’t affect Josie, she couldn’t.

Josie would notice every time and take her hands, pulling her back up from her sea of thoughts. “I’ll be okay, Pen…” Josie’s words couldn’t have been less convincing.

“I know.”

“In a few days, we’ll forget all about it and things will be back to normal.” Again, Josie was not very convincing. How could they go back to normal knowing that their relationship had an expiration date? Every sweet moment would be tainted by the bitter realization that it may be the last time and that the countdown was only closing in.

“Your husband is coming back, isn’t he?”

Josie frowned. “Yes. My pater is delaying the war until we get approval from the gods. It probably won’t happen until…” Romans were a superstitious bunch and weren’t going to test their luck.

“Then we can’t really get back to ‘normal,’ can we?”

Penelope could see the hurt in Josie’s eyes from her words. If this were any other situation, Penelope would have never said such words—she would have fought and believed in the both of them because Josie did, but now was the time to let her doubts take root and grow. Those doubts would get in between them and spread them apart.

“Am I even allowed in your room when he’s back? Do I even want to be?” In the back of her mind, Penelope knew that this would always be the result but now that they were so close to Rafael’s return, everything felt so much more real. The image of his hands gliding over Josie’s body was a bit too much for Penelope to take.

Josie averted her eyes. “My room is still my room. I might not be there some nights but…”

“So… not normal.” Penelope avoided looking at Josie, already able to imagine the pout, downcast eyes, and nervous fidgeting.

“I”m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” Penelope couldn’t take it. Not because it was annoying on Josie’s part but because Penelope knew that she should be the one apologizing.

Penelope did her best to finish Josie’s hair as quickly as possible so that she could run away. She was only so strong and could only hurt Josie so much before her facade would crack. “Do you need me for anything else? I have to go see Hope about something.”

Josie looked up, her eyes full of question. “Hope? About what?”

“I’ll tell you if anything comes from it.”

Josie frowned, not expecting Penelope to avoid the question. Penelope was always blunt and fairly confident in everything she did so she never shrugged away questions about her actions. “Okay… when will you be back?”

“I don’t know. Is that a problem?”

Josie shook her head. “No…”

“I’ll see you later then…” Penelope leaned down to give Josie a simple kiss that felt way too short. Penelope was not hiding the fact that something was wrong but she was hiding what was wrong. Josie, being Josie, could only imagine that it was her fault. Despite her insistence that she wasn’t mad, Penelope had to be furious. Josie was too weak for her.

* * *

 “My uncle is the governor of _Achaia_ , you can stay in my home while you’re there,” Hope explained.

“Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“No. It’s empty aside from the two slaves that keep it up and running. The estate used to belong to my pater before he died.” Hope would occasionally stay there when she was visiting her family but she usually avoided it. It was too empty for her tastes when she could literally stay with any other of her multitudes of uncles and aunts.

“We can travel there together. I have a trip planned next week so that’s the perfect time.”

“Wait, you’re not going to be here for Josie?” Penelope didn’t agree to this. She didn’t want to leave Josie completely alone.

“It my aunt’s birthday. I have to go. I’ll be back as soon as possible. Besides, Josie will have Rafael, Lizzie, and Milton.”

Penelope bit her lip and nodded. “What about Lizzie? How is she taking any of this?”

Hope shrugged. “Her emotions are intense right now and it’s best to avoid her… but don’t worry about her. She’ll be fine. Lizzie always bounces back determined. Sometimes too determined.”

“Do you think she’ll do anything? You know… to win?”

Hope shook her head. “No, Lizzie loves her sister. She may not act like it but she is as willing to die for Josie as Josie is to die for her. Lizzie wouldn’t intentionally make it worse for either of them.”

Penelope nodded. “But if she does do something, I’m going to kill her myself.”

Hope smirked, “You would have to beat me to it.”

“Is this weird for you? It’s like you’re picking sides.”

“I’m not. I’d do the exact same thing for Lizzie if she was in Josie’s shoes. It’s about fairness and right now, Josie needs a little boost to get there.” Hope didn't want to lose either of them but it was going to happen. The way Alaric spoke about it sent chills to her bones. He was determined and no one could ever fight him when he was that determined. It was going to happen and Hope wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't give either of them their best possible chance.

“I’d hate to be in your shoes.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Though Hope was quite certain Penelope’s situation was much, much worse. “Are you still sure you don’t want to tell her you’re leaving?”

“If I did, I don’t think I’d be able to do it. Josie would make me stay and if I’ve learned anything by now, it’s that I can’t say no to her.” Penelope knew that all it would take was for Josie to tell her to stay for Penelope’s own selfishness to take over and make her stay. She would justify it but Penelope knew that it wasn’t justified. She had to go.

“She will hate you for this.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achaia - southern and central Greece


	19. fluctuat nec mergitur - she is rocked by the waves, but does not sink

"Penelope?”

“Hm?” Penelope looked away from the view of the city and turned to face Josie. There was a small blush on her face and she couldn’t look her in the eye.

“Were there people? Before me, I mean.”

“Why?”

Josie bit her bottom lip. She didn’t want to tell Penelope the truth. She knew that mentioning the future often upset her lover and her curiosity was completely fuelled by her need to understand her future. Would Penelope be okay? Had she been through this before? Josie could only imagine how much her heart would shatter losing Penelope but Penelope had more experience so maybe it won’t be too bad?

Despite Josie’s silence, Penelope decided to answer anyway. “I’ve been with people before, but you knew that.” So that wasn’t what Josie was searching for. Part of Penelope wanted to lie and inoculate Josie for what was to come but she couldn’t… not when she knew how much it meant to Josie. “But like this? No. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you.” It had never hurt so much. In fact, Penelope had never wanted so much that she allowed herself to get to the point where she could be hurt.

Josie was one of a kind and Penelope knew that the scar Josie would leave on her heart would be much deeper than the one on her arm. A few more millimetres and maybe it would kill her

Penelope’s answer was bittersweet to Josie. Penelope had always made her feel special and noticed in a way no one else had ever done so she couldn’t help the relief she felt knowing that she really was special to her. At the same time, it was the answer she didn’t want. Josie was okay with dying—as dark as that sounded—but she wasn’t okay with the idea of leaving a trail of heartbreak and pain behind her. The thought of breaking Penelope’s heart was too much to bear.

But how could Josie pull away when she selfishly did not want to hurt herself?

“It’s getting late,” Penelope suddenly announced. “Why don’t we head to bed?” She offered her hand to Josie who didn’t hesitate to take it and allowed her to lead her.

When they had to let go, Penelope immediately felt the coldness of them doing so.

She snuggled up to Josie and held her, willing herself to memorize the feeling of having Josie in her arms. She thought she had every bit memorized but now that she knew it would be gone, she was scared and her memory was failing her. Will she really remember what this was like?Did she want to? It would always haunt her if she did but no matter how much Penelope wanted to protect herself, the only answer was an utterly, painfully, resounding yes.

She wanted to remember everything.

Her lips found Josie’s in a desperate kiss, her body sneaking past her mind, hoping to convey the words she wouldn’t let herself speak.

_I love you._

Her arm wrapped around Josie and pulled them closer together. Maybe if she tried hard enough, they would just melt in to one? Her grip was tight and she refused to give Josie any mercy from her kiss. She didn’t want to separate. Separating would remind her of the loss that was coming--one she had an eternity to feel.

_I’m sorry._

Penelope couldn’t help but be envious of Josie’s ignorance. Her response didn’t show even a fraction of the pain that Penelope was feeling. This was normal—this was them. In love and worshipping each other’s bodies in ways only lovers could. When they finally pulled away from the kiss, Penelope couldn’t keep the tears back.

“Penelope?” Josie whispered, clear concern in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

All Penelope could do was smile, “Nothing… I just love you so much.”

Words were too difficult so Penelope caught Josie’s lips in another kiss. Their bodies moved in sync. It was a dance that had been well-rehearsed and perfected by now. Layers were shed, gasps were heard, and bodies were shaken. It was stunning but it was also their last performance.

There would be no encore.

_Goodbye._

* * *

“Here they are.”

Penelope looked down at the papers, stunned to be holding them in her hands. This was it? All she needed to be free? “How’d you get them? Alaric said no to Josie.”

“We don’t need to get them approved from Augustus himself. There are other officials that owe me a favour or two,” Hope explained.

“Thank you.” Penelope pulled Hope into a hug, one the other girl readily returned.

“Are you ready to go?”

Penelope took one last look at the estate before nodding. She would never be ready to leave and had to do everything she could to keep it together but this was what was right. “It’s now or never.”

Penelope climbed onto the horse and their entourage was just about to leave when they heard footsteps behind them.

“Penelope?” Josie called. She had woken up to an empty bed and while she usually would have gone back to sleep, something felt off about this morning. She searched the entire estate in hopes of finding Penelope but everyone told her they hadn’t seen her. The last thing she was expecting was to find Penelope at the gates alongside Hope, clearly ready to depart.

“Where are you going?”

Hope’s bottom lip caught between her teeth. How was it that the one time they needed Josie to sleep in, she woke up early? Hope’s eyes went to Penelope’s and she could see that they were slowly cracking. “She’s leaving with me.” Penelope couldn’t speak so Hope had to be the buffer.

“Where are you both going?” Josie was beginning to panic, knowing that whatever was happening, it wasn’t just a trip to the market.

Hope looked over at Penelope, waiting to see if she wanted to say anything. When all she got was silence, Hope continued. “I secured her papers and—“

“I wanted nothing to do with Rome.” Both Josie’s and Hope’s eyes widened as they stared at Penelope. Penelope had to look away from Josie, seeing the heartbreak just behind her eyes. “Unless you’re going to stop me, _domina_?” The term came out almost hateful. Penelope did hate it. She hated the entire system that put them in this situation. This state destroyed them and she hated everything about it—except for the person standing before her.

“I thought…”

“You thought what? I wasn’t just going to sit around and wait for you to die, Josie. This was my chance to be free of all of this.” Even if their plan didn’t save Josie’s life, Penelope knew there was truth in her words. She couldn’t stick around to see what would happen next.

_A few more millimetres and maybe it would kill her._

“If you’re not going to fight, there’s nothing here for me to fight for.”

Hope couldn’t say a thing. Penelope’s words were harsh but she could see it working. The realization was sinking in to Josie and all the light that had recently spawned in her eyes were quickly dampening. It was working.

Fuck, it was working.

Josie’s eyes fell to the ground. Penelope was right. She wasn’t worth fighting for—she couldn’t even convince herself that she was. Why should Penelope waste her time on her? It would only hurt her in the long run. This was her chance to run away, to seek the happiness she knew she could obtain away from here. Josie would never get that chance. Perhaps she should be grateful that Penelope had shown her that there could be more. It wasn’t meant for her but surely Penelope was meant for more.

Josie had been selfish so far. The least she could do is let Penelope go.

“Don’t come back.” Those were the only words Josie could utter before walking away. She could only do this once. She wouldn’t be able to let go a second time if Penelope came back.

Penelope deserved her freedom.

Josie refused to look back at Penelope as she walked inside. She couldn’t. That wasn’t the last image she wanted.

When Josie disappeared, Penelope let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. That was it. Josie was gone. They were done.

Josie would fight for herself, Penelope had to believe that she would. Other people would fight for her as well. She had so many better suited people to care for her. She didn’t need Penelope. Penelope was a hinderance.

No matter how much Penelope wanted to break in that moment, no matter how her chest ached and her body felt like every inch had been pounded down, she couldn’t break down. This was only the first step of the very long road ahead of her and if she broke now, she would never recover. She owed herself more than that.

“I’m sorry.” That was all Hope could say. She hated herself for suggesting this. She had never seen Josie more hurt and it was only the beginning. But she knew in her heart that she was right. No matter what the consequences, they had to continue.

“Don’t be.” Penelope’s words came out emotionless, her eyes just as dark. This was their destiny from the start. The fates played their game and Penelope was dumb enough to fall for it. She really only had herself to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably be busy the next two or so days so there might not be any updates


	20. fundamenta inconcussa - unshakable foundation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. I don't feel like cleaning so I wrote instead.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter is lighter?

“Is Josie okay?”

Lizzie looked over at her sister and shook her head. “She’s just feeling a bit out of it, babe. She’ll be okay.” It had been days since Penelope left and Lizzie was barely able to get a word out of her sister. She knew what had happened—the disappearance of Penelope was enough for her to piece together the pieces—but she had no idea what was going through her sister’s mind.

All she knew was that she had been having trouble breathing and it wasn’t because of Roman air quality. Sometimes having a mystical connection with one’s twin was inconvenient.

Milton didn’t look convinced but he nodded. It wasn’t his business. He was just expecting her to look a little less dead considering Rafael was at the city gates. Lizzie appreciated his concern but this wasn’t something he had the caliber to fix so she quickly leaned over and gave him a kiss. “Why don’t you go wait with pater? I’m sure he needs someone to hold his hand now that mater isn’t talking to him.”

Caroline knew how to show Alaric she was angry and Alaric was suffering for it.

When Milton disappeared, Lizzie walked up to Josie and wrapped her arms around her sister, snuggling up against her as they sat. Naturally, Josie leaned back and rested her weight against her sister, exhausted but thankful to have her here. She wasn’t sure there was anything she wanted to say but luckily for her, she knew Lizzie would realize that.

“So pater is thinking of holding a circus soon. I can’t wait to see what crazies show up this time.” People were always so intense about their sports. “I’m surprised pater even lets us go considering how many men decide to strip nude in the middle of it. I am pretty sure we lost our virgin eyes at one of those things.”

Despite Josie’s pain, she couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m pretty sure it was the dozens of statutes and paintings that did it for us.”

“Well, yeah, but I always thought artists were being weird. I didn’t realize it was actually a thing and that ugly in person.”

Lizzie scrunched her face in mild disgust, causing Josie to smile. “I hope you didn’t say that on your wedding night,” Josie teased, looking up at her sister.

Lizzie blinked. “Why not? When have you known me to hold anything back? I totally told Milton right to his face.”

It was the first laugh Josie managed since Penelope left. “How did he react?”

“Upwards.”

“Really?” Josie’s eyes were in disbelief.

“What can I say? I have that affect on men.”

Josie rolled her eyes before playfully nudging her sister for her ridiculously high ego. After calming down, she relaxed back into her sister’s arms. “I loved her.”

“I know.” Lizzie placed a small kiss atop of Josie’s head, giving her a small squeeze to remind her that at least she was still around. “I’m sorry she left.”

“I let her go,” Josie corrected. If she really wanted to, she could have made a big thing out of the entire situation. Legally, Penelope was hers and the law would have been on her side, but she would never do that to Penelope. She would never force her to stay. She never claimed to control her and never wanted to control her.

“Either way, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.”

“Like I’m the circus ring and all the chariot and horses are stomping on me.”

“Violent, much?” Lizzie replied, somewhat appalled at the imagery.

“You know I’ve always had a dark side.”

“How can I forget? They all say that I’m the bitch in this sisterhood but we both know who the true monster is. Prometheus was not thinking of you when he decided to steal the fire for mankind.”

“He really wasn’t.”

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Lizzie asked

“I just need time… and to not have to go to dinner and face everyone tonight, especially not Rafael.” How could she explain to her husband that her heart was broken and it wasn’t his fault?

An idea popped into Lizzie’s head. “Do you remember what we would do every time we wanted to avoid those dinners?”

Josie raised her brow. “We aren’t eight anymore, Lizzie. I don’t think the cute act is going to convince him.”

“Are you telling me that you don’t think we are cute anymore? Come on, he won’t know what hit him.”

Josie rolled her eyes. Nevertheless, she was thankful that her sister was here. She was always the perfect distraction and Josie needed to wake up before reality once again came crashing down on her.

* * *

“You guys can’t seriously be doing this.” Stefan groaned as he looked over at the two twins who were happily occupying his stable as if they weren’t being little scheming devils. “You guys aren’t kids anymore. What makes you think I’ll be able to protect you from your parents?”

Lizzie shrugged. “I don’t know, Uncle Stefan. We aren’t kids anymore. We don’t need your permission or supervision to steal your horses and run away.”

“You know you’re going to get my head on a spike, right?”

“It would be one handsome spike.” Aunt Elena flowed in behind her husband, placing a gentle hand on his back.

“Don’t tell me you’re encouraging this.”

“Let them have their fun, Stefan. When was the last time they did something like this? Look at them.”

Josie and Lizzie did their best cute twin faces, causing Stefan to groan once again. It wasn’t like they didn’t have their own horses to take out but they didn’t want to get their slaves into trouble for letting them take them. Getting Uncle Stefan in trouble though? That was a different matter.

“Fine. But if Alaric wants anyone’s head on a spike, it will be yours,” Stefan warned Elena.

“We both know that’s not going to happen.”

“Thank you, Aunt Elena!” They both said in unison, grinning at her. In this moment, it was hard not to think about when they were younger and would get into the exact same mayhem. Elena missed this. They were far from being the adult women society wanted them to be.

With one final nod, they both kicked off and made their way out of the stables. Uncle Stefan lived on the outer reaches of Rome and his villa had a large farm that gave them more than enough room to dash away and hide. It was a safe way for them to disappear. It was private property so they wouldn’t run into dangerous men, but still grand enough that it would take quite some time to find them if someone didn’t know where to search.

Near the outskirts of the property was a river and a little stone house that they would always hide in when they wanted the world to fade away. It was much larger to them when they were younger but now it was clear it wasn’t meant to fit more than a very small family. It was one of the properties for the slaves to reside in but they got their uncle to agree to leave it just for them. It was like their own little fort and no one was allowed to enter (unless it was to clean of course).

“I can’t believe we are doing this. Pater is going to be so upset we’re missing out on Raf’s return dinner party,” Josie stated. This was honestly just the distraction she needed. It was difficult being in her own room. Everything reminded her of Penelope. The sheets smelt like her and every inch had a touch of her in some way. The memories were too much.

“Raf won’t care so it’s not like pater can do anything.” Lizzie grabbed the basket of food(courtesy of Uncle Stefan’s kitchen) from one of the horses and settled on the grass by the river. “Now you’re going to finish this meal. You’ve been looking way too skinny.”

“I’m not hungry,” Josie replied.

“Does it seem like I care whether you’re hungry or not? Eat. We both know I’m the more attractive sister but that doesn’t mean you get to embarrass me by looking like we don’t feed you.”

Josie rolled her eyes. It’s been a while since her sister had insulted her appearance. She actually missed it. “You don’t have to be so mean about it.”

“Mean? I’m just being honest.”

They spent the next hour eating and chatting about their various memories at this exact location. The tree that Josie had burnt when they were younger still hadn’t recovered (that moment was when Josie learned she had an ‘affinity’ for fire—she enjoyed it way too much) and was sitting right beside them, as if watching over them. .

The sun had completely fallen by the time they fell silent.

“Lizzie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Lizzie smiled. “Any time, Jo. You know you can always come to me for anything, right?”

Despite the happy mood that had settled upon them, Josie couldn’t help but shake her head. “Not for much longer.”

Lizzie frowned and looked away. “I hate the world.”

“Me too.”

“Lets burn down Rome.”

Josie laughed. “Gosh, I wonder who pater would blame for that.”

“We can put the blame on Hope,” Lizzie suggested.

“Lizzie!”

* * *

“Are you sure? This wasn’t the plan.” Hope definitely wasn’t sure about it. The original goal was to leave Rome entirely. They had almost gotten out when they overheard news regarding Penelope’s father. There was a high chance the triumph was going to happen soon and that he would be executed.

“I can’t leave, Hope,” Penelope begged. “At least not until I see him one last time.” Even if it was just in a crowd to say goodbye. She couldn’t just walk away. She could hide in the deepest parts of Rome to keep herself from being found if need be (not that she thought Josie was actually looking for her).

“Where will you stay?” Hope had to leave for her aunt’s birthday and didn’t prepare any place for Penelope in Rome. The goal was to keep Penelope and Josie away from one another so she couldn’t keep her at any of her properties. They were all within Josie’s eyesight if she went out.

“I think I have an idea.”

“Why do I have a feeling I won’t like it?”

“You won’t. Doesn’t mean it’s not a good one.”

Hope sighed. “I guess we have no choice.”

* * *

“Lizzie! Josie!”

When the twins didn’t appear at dinner, Alaric knew immediately where they had run off to. Unfortunately, he had to be a proper host and couldn’t chase them down. Additionally, Caroline was being utterly uncooperative and unwilling to go get them either so they were both stuck at an awkward dinner with everyone wondering where Rafael’s wife was.

Lizzie looked up and glared at her father. Josie was passed out against her, her exhaustion and lack of sleep taking a toll on her. Apparently, all she needed was to get out of her room to fall asleep again.

“Leave us alone, pater.” She was still furious at him. She didn’t care if it would make him angry for her to be like this—she wasn’t in the wrong here.

Alaric got off his horse and looked down at his two daughters. His heart ached seeing the two of them like this together. It reminded him of the many other times he found them snuggled against each other, safe and content with being in each other’s company. Every time he saw this sight, he easily forgave them for running off. What father wouldn’t?

But now? He was too angry at himself to forgive them.

He was just about to say something when Josie opened her eyes. It stopped him in his tracks. He had never seen such anger in Josie’s eyes. She got sad but she never got angry. Not like this.

She pushed herself off of Lizzie and looked him straight in the eyes. “Go away, pater. You don’t deserve to be around us.”

Her words were true.

He was a terrible father.

But he was still their father.

“We are going home. If you two don’t come willingly, I’ll get the guards to drag you back.”

Their family was breaking and there was no one with the power to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> circus - mainly chariot races but other performances happened, like animal hunting


	21. ignotum per ignotius - unknown by means of the more unknown

It was late by the time Josie got back to her home. Instead of heading to her room, she skipped right past it and entered Rafael’s. It was rude of her not to greet the return of her husband and she knew that if she didn’t make an effort and her father found out about it, he would be more upset. She didn’t care about his feelings right now but she did care about the sacrifice and wasn’t quite ready to give him any excuse to hasten it.

“Josie?” Rafael greeted. He was in the process of taking off his toga, surprised to see her here. He hadn’t expected to see her at all considering it was already this late and she was seemingly avoiding him.

“Rafael,” she greeted. She walked over to him and naturally began to help him out of his clothes. He had Landon to do it if he really needed help but Rafael was some times stubbornly independent. He only let Josie help because he really had no right to tell her no (not that he didn’t appreciate it).

When he was ready for bed, he took his time helping Josie as well. They were an affectionate couple considering the forced nature of their marriage. When she was done, he took her hand and led her gently to the bed. “You pater told me about what the sibyl said,” he started. He looked down at her hand and rubbed it comfortingly. “It is utter madness.”

He respected the gods but how could he not be angered by the idea of his wife possibly dying? No matter their feelings for one another, she was still his wife and he cared about her. “I tried to convince pater that it shouldn’t be you but he wouldn’t listen. He just told me to focus on you and this year.”

Josie looked down at their linked hands and gave it a small squeeze. “You won’t be wifeless so you don’t have to worry about it.” If Josie was chosen, she knew the next thing her father would do was divorce Lizzie and get her to marry Rafael instead.

Raf frowned. “I don’t care about having a wife or not. I care about you.”

Josie smiled and patted his hand. “And I’ll be fine. It’s no different than what I feel when you go off to fight. I never know if you’ll come back or not. At least we will both see it coming when it does.” She appreciated his concern, she did. But all it did was make her feel worse about everything that had transpired when he was away. She didn’t regret it, she could never regret Penelope, but she also wasn’t heartless enough not to bear the guilt of being unfaithful to him.

“You must be tired from your trip. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about it tonight.” She leaned forward and placed a small and brief kiss on his cheek. Sleeping next to him would be nothing like sleeping next to Penelope. In fact, she almost didn’t think she could be comfortable being next to him anymore. Nevertheless, anything was better than her own bed. Her own bed still carried Penelope’s scent and Josie was no longer used to how lonely it felt without her. She didn’t want to be alone.

* * *

When Josie awoke the next morning, she woke up to Landon walking around the room, getting things ready for Rafael’s day. It gave her a brief flashback to only a year ago when this was her normal. It definitely did not feel normal anymore.

“Good morning, Josie,” Landon greeted, surprised to see Josie up so early.

“Good morning.” Rafael was still asleep beside her and she briefly considered going back to sleep, only to decide otherwise. “What are his plans for today?”

“Well, he’s going to the public baths in a few hours to catch up with some of his friends.” Josie nodded. “He probably won’t be back until dinner. Your father requested both you, your sister, and your husbands attend.”

Josie frowned. “Tell him I’m not feeling well.”

Landon blinked. “I don’t think he’ll believe you. He was pretty upset last night. Please don’t send me to my death.”

“He threatened to drag both Lizzie and I back home so I guess you’re right. I shouldn’t tempt him.” Ignoring her father would do her no good. It would just fuel his anger and she had to face him eventually.

“I can get myself an invite elsewhere,” Raf offered. He had heard the end of their conversation and while he was still drowsy, he understood enough to figure out some sort of solution.

“And deny Augustus’ invitation?” Landon cautioned.

“Yeah. What’s he going to do? I have to get myself back in to the senatorial network somehow. It wouldn’t be surprising if my wife came along.”

“You really don’t need to,” Josie interjected.

“It’s fine. I’m honestly at a loss on how to face pater anyway. It’s not just you that wants to avoid him,” Rafael explained.

“Thank you... but can we please avoid Marcus’ place? He makes me uncomfortable.”

“He makes every woman around him uncomfortable. I wouldn’t subject you to that.”

“I’m not a lady and I feel uncomfortable around him,” Landon added, shivering a bit at the mention.

“Maybe the next time you refuse a direct order from your domina, I’ll let him borrow you,” Rafael teased.

“That is cruel.”

* * *

 “I have to admit, I’m surprised to see you here so soon.”

“I’m hard to predict,” Penelope retorted, her arms crossed as she sat across from Lorenzo.

“Which is fine by me. How can I help you?”

“Is your offer still open?”

Lorenzo raised his brow. “Always. But I thought you didn’t like to fight for sport.”

“I’m not the one fighting.”

“Indeed you won’t be. Considering you’re here, I’m assuming you’re a freewoman and a citizen. It would be illegal of me to put you to death. What do I call you?”

“Penelope.”

“The wife of Ulysses. Forever faithful. Daughter of a Spartan. Your name definitely has a story that speaks for itself. But you’re a freewoman now. Only slaves have one name.”

“I don’t see why I need another.”

“It’s traditional to take the name of the master that had freed you.”

Penelope immediately scoffed. “Not happening.” She was not carrying around a title of former ownership, especially if it would forever remind her of her former owner.

Lorenzo chuckled, not expecting any differently. “Who am I to change your mind?” He held out his hand, “my friends call me Enzo.”

“We aren’t friends,” Penelope clarified.

“You can call me dominus, if you wish.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “Enzo it is.”

“That’s what I thought.”

* * *

 “Are you sure about this?” Penelope was completely right. Hope did not like this plan. Putting Penelope in a gladiator school with a bunch of dangerous people did not sound safe whatsoever. Just standing around made her nervous. She had seen legionaries up close but gladiators were a completely different breed. They fought for nothing but themselves and that made them dangerous.

“I’ll be fine. I can handle myself and I’m a citizen now. I have rights and if there anything you Romans are good at, it’s droning on about your superior laws and political structures.” She remembered standing around as Milton and discussed his cases and she understood next to none of his words.

Hope still wasn’t comfortable but if Penelope was confident, Hope really had no reason not to be. “Well... you know where to send a message if anything happens.”

“Trust me, if anything happened, I’d probably be dead before I could even send one.”

“Not funny,” Hope deadpanned.

“Do you see me laughing?”

Hope’s jaw dropped for a second before Penelope broke into her classic cocky smirk. “I’ll be fine. Now go before you’re late. I’ve delayed you enough.”

Hope smiled, “I have plenty of time. But you’re right, I should be hitting the road.”

Penelope reached forward and pulled Hope into a strong hug. “Thank you, for everything.”

Hope shook her head. “I should be thanking you. This is the least I can do.”

“Stay safe.”

They didn’t know the next time they would be seeing each other but they both hoped it would be under much better circumstances.

* * *

 “So this is where you’ll be staying,” the man explained. It was a small room but at least it was her own separate room. Penelope hadn’t realized until now but gladiators were spoiled compared to regular slaves. They were valuable so they were well-fed, well-taken care of, and well-maintained. She didn’t like the idea of fighting people to entertain the masses but she could see how it wasn’t too bad of a gig.

“Thanks…?”

“Jed. I’m the male version of you.”

“You’re much cooler than the previous male equivalent of me.”

Jed raised his brow. “Do I want to know?"

“Not really.”

Jed smirked. “Anyway, training starts at dawn. I think you’re going to fit in great here.”

“Do I get to punch people in the face?”

“Preferably not in the face but if the moment calls for it, go for it.”

So maybe Penelope wasn’t going to hate it here after all.

Her suspicions were confirmed over the next few days. The gladiators were a hard working bunch and super competitive, but they were also decent people. She supposed it was hard to be a complete ass when they were surrounded by bigger rich asses.

She didn’t know it was possible for big burly dudes to annoy her less than the ladies they were forced to sleep with. Aristocratic Roman women were really something else…

She worked with the female gladiators for the most part but they were all pretty familial and nothing humbled a man quite like being beaten by a girl.

“So why don’t you guys ever consider running away?” Penelope asked. It confused her that none of them tried. They were ten times stronger than all the guards and it wasn’t like they were all chained down.

“Spartacus.”

“Spartacus?” The name sounded vaguely familiar but she never cared to ask about it.

“He was a gladiator that started a slave revolt. Even with an army of one hundred thousand, mostly led by gladiators, they lost. All of them were wiped out. The ones that weren’t killed in the battle were lined up along the road back to Rome. One crucified slave for every one hundred feet. I think there were six thousand of them,” Jed explained.

They all heard the horror stories. Death in the arena was way better than death by crucifixion. That was what awaited any slave that the masters deemed should be executed. Slaves who weren’t executed got gifted with a permanent metal collar that told the world what they were. Many of them hoped to earn their freedom in the arena. There was more hope in doing that than in running away.

“There’s really no end to how horrible these people are, is there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The people asked for it and I delivered.


	22. in articulo mortis - at the point of death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhh! Sorry this took so long! I had my convocation this week and needed a break :)

“Fuck.”

Running through the streets of Rome wasn’t an easy task. Running through it when crowds were gathered to celebrate a triumph and circus? That was nearly impossible.

Nevertheless, Penelope tried, shoving people out of the way as she tried to get to the end of the precession. That was where they were matching the prisoners of war. It didn’t matter to her right now that Josie was the other way. No matter how Josie had penetrated her every thought and no matter how much she wanted a glimpse of her, she couldn’t risk being seen. As far as Josie was concerned, she was with Hope and far away from Rome.

When she finally got to the end, she pushed her way to the front, not caring who she was angering by taking their place in the audience. She was short, they will still be able to see past her so whatever.

Her eyes immediately made contact with her father’s. He looked surprised to see her there and she knew that part of him probably wished she wasn’t here to witness this, but this was her last chance. Words wouldn’t be heard even if they were screamed so all they could do was helplessly stare at one another, doing their best to convey the words they couldn’t.

Penelope had never felt so powerless in her life. There was her father, humiliated and was being transported to his execution and she couldn’t lift a finger. It wouldn’t help. She couldn’t fight a legion of Romans all on her own. He would just be heartbroken to see his daughter die in front of him. That was not an image any person should die with.

She kept shoving through the crowd through the front, keeping pace with the legionary march. People were cheering and celebrating and no one seemed to care that people would die today. Then again, Romans seemed to care very little about life or death if it didn’t concern one of their own.

Penelope learned how it would happen: in front of a huge crowd in the middle of the circus. He would be a half-time show in between the chariot races. She wasn’t sure if she was happy about the fact that he at least wasn’t the main event. The only thing Penelope was sure of is that she had never hated Augustus and Rome as much as she did in this moment.

Maybe she should have killed him when she had the chance?

Josie’s face immediately flashed into her mind and she knew she couldn’t have done it. Josie’s life was worth giving up their love for—revenge wasn’t. No amount of anger Penelope could muster would ever let her do anything that truly hurt Josie (at least without very good reason). No matter how much time had passed by, no matter how much she willed herself to stop hurting, one thing always remained the same: her love for Josie wouldn’t fade.

It would never fade.

* * *

Penelope had just managed to get back to the school when she ran into Enzo heading out with a few of the gladiators, seemingly very rushed. “What’s going on?”

Enzo breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted Penelope. “We were just invited to the circus. Apparently, there’s a last minute change in programming. They wanted battles to replace some other act.”

“Well, good luck.”

Enzo’s eyes widened and he grabbed Penelope’s arm. “You’re coming with!”

“No, thank you.” Penelope had no intention of being in the crowd where Josie could possibly see her (even if it was highly improbable).

“The thing about gladiator battles is that you can get to know your opponent before you enter the arena against them. As their teacher, you need to also be the strategist.” Enzo didn’t leave Penelope any room to argue, dragging her along despite her hesitation.

When they finally got to the circus, it was already jammed pack. Crowds were screaming, horses were running, and charioteers were doing their best to win. Penelope definitely didn’t miss the few unlucky chariots that were sitting by the wall and out of commission. Did Romans enjoy any entertainment that didn’t feature blood and violence?

Luckily, Penelope wasn’t in those crowds. She was hidden behind the scenes, getting one of the fighters ready for the finale. There was no hint of who they were fighting against but the servants ensured them that it wouldn’t be a hard one. Penelope would trust them if it weren’t for the fact that they looked like they had never been in a battle in their life.

When a few of the races finally completed, the crowd suddenly turned silent.

“My fellow citizens!”

Penelope froze.

She would recognize that voice anywhere.

By instinct, she peaked out from her place and followed everyone’s eyes to the person that had captivated them—though they would never be as captivated by Josie the same way Penelope was. Josie was standing at the front of the booth her family occupied, a large smile on her face. This was the first time Penelope had seen her do anything like this. Josie never spoke publicly, especially to such a grand audience.

“While we were planning to execute my pater’s captive today, I convinced him that we should do something different.”

The crowd began to talk amongst themselves, wondering what could possibly delay the execution. Penelope was wondering the same thing except her heart was pounding ten times faster than everyone else’s.

“Beheading someone is definitely not as entertaining as watching them fight for their lives. We have gladiators in the wings ready for a challenge. Let’s see if they can match up to this feared leader?”

The crowd immediately burst out into cheers. They were definitely not expecting a gladiatorial show in the middle of the circus, but the more entertainment they got, the better.

Penelope, however, was not cheering. Instead, she immediately turned to her companions. “Take that off. I’m going out there.”

* * *

_“Did you know that the people of Aegyptus believe that when someone passes away, they would face a god named Osiris who would judge them?”_

_Penelope raised her brow. “No.” It wasn’t uncommon for Josie to burst out into random facts though she had made it an unofficial rule that for every fact she gave Penelope, Penelope was expected to give one back. Needless to say, Penelope was running out of facts._

_“They say that he weighs the person’s heart and if it’s lighter than the Feather of Ma’at, the person was worthy enough to go to their version of afterlife paradise.”_

_Penelope raised her brow. “I don’t think anyone’s heart can be that light. Everyone’s guilty of some wrongdoing.”_

_Josie nodded. “Pluto is a lot less judgmental.”_

_“My people believe that warriors who die on the battlefield get taken to one of two halls to prepare for the great battle of Ranarok.”_

_“What about people like me? Who don’t fight?”_

_“They go to Hel. I don’t think it’s much different than how you Romans see the underworld.” Now that she thought about it, death would separate them. If her beliefs were the truth, then they wouldn’t be going to the same place._

_Perhaps Hel wouldn’t be so bad if Josie were there._

_“It sounds a lot more peaceful than spending an eternity getting ready for a deadly fight.”_

_Penelope smirked. Of course Josie would prefer the more peaceful option. Her life was the epitome of peace and an absence of impoverished worries. “It does. But it also sounds boring. Preparing for fights at least give your soul a purpose. It’s one warriors pride themselves on.”_

_“I don’t know. It seems silly to die fighting just to want to die fighting again,” Josie reasoned, giving Penelope a shrug._

_“I’d rather go down fighting than helplessly waiting for my death.”_

* * *

It felt like forever until the main chariot races ended and the winners declared. Penelope couldn’t care less about which colour won or how many people were throwing their clothes onto the dirt. All she cared about was what was going to happen at the end.

Penelope was all geared up. While she hated the helmet she was wearing, she had no choice but to wear it. Josie couldn’t know she was here. Without her face and covered in armour, perhaps she would look like any other female warrior? Who needs sight anyway, right?

The things she did for love.

When they finally opened the gates, Penelope stepped out. It was clear that the crowd was excited, cheers erupting the moment she stood before them.

This arena was definitely not the usual battle one. It was narrower with a platform at the middle that essentially split the field in half. Penelope took a moment to survey the field. She wasn’t the only one in this battle and she knew it. If she was going to have to battle for the privilege to kill her own father, so be it.

As inappropriate as it was, a smirk appeared on Penelope’s lips. It’s been a while since she’s been able to release some real rage. The moment the white cloth was dropped, she charged forward.

* * *

Penelope didn’t expect the helmet to impede her so much. She was exhausted from the heat of being in it and while she had won, it was not without its consequences. She looked down at her bloodied leg, knowing that it was going to hurt the moment her adrenaline wore off.

Fortunately for her, she was much better off than the rest of them. It was a deathless fight but that didn’t mean she had to leave them standing. Penelope always milked the rush of a real battle. It was one thing to train but it was a whole other to actually have her life on the line. Maybe it was crazy but it was a nice break from her monotonous life lately.

Landon just wasn’t that great of a punching bag and she couldn’t actually hurt the ones she was training.

The crowd was still roaring and Penelope looked up at the Augustus and his group. Josie was sitting beside him, her eyes very focused on her. Penelope had to look away. Despite the helmet, she could almost feel Josie reading her. Meeting her eyes, even from this far distance, was too much.

Not only was it risky, but it was awfully painful to be this close yet so far away.

Josie stood up, immediately silencing the crowd. She didn’t say a word and simply nodded at the guards. The gates beneath them opened up and in came her father. Penelope turned to face him, her body practically frozen.

He was thin, weary, and Penelope knew that he wouldn’t last. Even with her having fought multiple people to get to this point, he looked in worse shape than her. This was never truly a battle. It was supposed to be an entertaining slaughter. Unfortunately for them, Penelope wasn’t going to let them enjoy it.

She walked forward and held out her hand, as if greeting him. Her father looked confused before he noticed the scar on her arm. Recognition immediately flooded him and he couldn’t hide his relief. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him as if in greeting. From here, there was no way anyone would hear them (even if they were incredibly confused by the delay).

“Do you think you can beat me, Penelope?” There was nothing but pride in his eyes. He knew his time was up and if Penelope was going to spend the last seconds of his life proving that he had given her everything she needed to survive—he was more than happy to welcome death.

Penelope didn’t exactly feel the same however. It was only the helmet that kept everyone else from noticing that she was crying. She wasn’t ready to lose him but there was no other way she would have preferred this to end. Her father would have suffered much more if left in someone else’s hands. She knew gladiators. They were showmen and extending the program only made them more popular.

Arena let go and got into position. Penelope looked down at her hand—immediately feeling the loss. Those were the same hands she grabbed whenever she was scared or lonely. They always felt so strong and Penelope never felt more secure. This was the last time. The crowd was getting impatient and she knew the battle had to start—her father knew that too.

Penelope took one last deep breath before readying herself. Her father didn’t wait for her to finish before charging forward. She immediately blocked his attack but she could feel the lack of strength behind it. It made her mad. This was never going to be a fair fight for anyone who faced him.

She pushed him back and darted forward. Penelope was never the strongest but she was always the fastest. Her small and slim body made her almost an impossible target to hit if paired with light enough armour. Her father anticipated her counter and easily dodged it. He was the one that taught it to her after all.

It wasn’t long before they fell into their usual routine. Her father was weaker but Penelope was also slower. Her injured leg was impeding her movements and her father used it to his advantage, pressing her weakness and forcing her to continually rely on it.

If it weren’t for the roaring crowds, Penelope could almost forget where they were. For a second, it felt like she was fifteen again and her father was training her. It was exciting and Penelope willed herself to give in to the nostalgia (she hoped it would make the situation more bearable).

Unfortunately, fights never lasted long and it wasn’t long before Penelope turned the situation against her father and he was lying flat on his back, her sword inches from his neck. She remembered the many times he had stood over her in the exact way. While it always upset her childish pride to lose, she couldn’t have been more grateful for all he had done.

She was different from the other girls that grew up in their village and instead of forcing her to change, he had always accepted her for who she was. Everything she was today was thanks for him and he knew it. They didn’t have to exchange a word.

That’s how he was able to close his eyes and relax.

Penelope looked up at Josie, who was one again standing. Her hands were shaking and Penelope could tell that she was hesitating. Josie cared and that was enough for Penelope. She cared regardless of whether Penelope was around or not.

Slowly, Josie lifted her hand and raised it to her neck. With her thumb out, she swiped it past her neck, the classic sign that the battle needed to be ended.

Penelope looked down at her father one last time, taking in his peaceful look before she plunged the sword forward, leaving no time for him to feel pain or discomfort.

She didn’t know how long she stood there. Seconds felt like hours as she stared down at her father’s dead body. When the crowd burst into cheers, Penelope dropped the sword. If she held on to it any longer, there was a good chance that it would go flying towards someone’s neck and that was the last thing she needed.

She didn’t embrace her victory nor acknowledge the audience, she simply walked to the side and waited. She refused to let his body out of her sight as they carried him away.

* * *

It was hours until the circus had fully dispersed and Penelope was still sitting there. She hadn’t changed from the battle (she could barely move) and simply stared at her father’s lifeless body. Her tears had dried and her death grip on her arms was the only thing that held her together.

Footsteps suddenly approached and she looked up, almost daring anyone to come close. When she was met with Landon, her brows raised (not that he could see her face).

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here.” He awkwardly waited for the warrior to respond but he was met with silence. “Well, um, my domina requested that I take care of the body so we’re just going to…”

Penelope stood up. She trusted Josie. The fact that she sent Landon personally meant that she cared about how his body would be handled. She only wished she could thank her herself. Instead, all she could do was nod and step aside, allowing Landon and the guards to take him away.


	23. mors certa, hora incerta - death is certain, its hour is uncertain

“You cannot do that again!” Enzo rarely got angry but he was rightfully furious now. He couldn’t do anything during the games and had to act normal but he knew how much jeopardy Penelope had put him in. “You’re a Roman citizen! If anything had happened, you could have gotten all of us in huge trouble.”

Penelope didn’t meet Enzo’s eyes, simply deciding that the floor was much more interesting. She didn’t care if she was in trouble. She did what she had to do and she didn’t regret it. Still, what she did was wrong so if she needed to let Enzo get it out, then she would wait patiently as he did. Honestly, her thoughts were still consumed by her father and what Josie did. 

There were definitely no regrets. 

“Luckily, you won. If you hadn’t, I would have fired you.” Enzo sighed, not really having it in him to be too serious of a disciplinary. It was clear that Penelope understood the point and that was what mattered.

“I won’t do it again.” Penelope definitely wasn’t going to put her life on the line for just anyone. There was no way she was going to enter that arena again. As fun as it was, it was also incredibly dangerous and her sore limbs and recently bound injuries were reminding her of that. Nevertheless, she already had a few scars so what’s a few more to the collection?

* * *

“Are you okay?” Rafael looked over at Josie as she got ready for bed. The entire day, she had been acting a bit weird and while the execution method was her idea, he noticed she barely watched a second of it. In fact, it seemed like she was doing everything she could to avoid watching it. 

“Huh?” Josie was too caught up in her thoughts to have heard a thing Rafael said. She was too busy wondering how Landon was coming along with the burial and if it was possible to let Penelope know of what happened or where his body would be. It didn’t feel right for her not to know so Josie made her mind to ask Hope to send a message tomorrow. Not from herself, of course. 

“I asked if you are feeling okay? You seem distracted.”

Josie shook her head. “I mean, I am distracted but don’t worry about me...”

“There’s only six more months.” Rafael didn’t need to explain what he was talking about. He figured maybe that was the thing on her mind. Even for him, it was hard to think of anything else. He couldn’t even begin to imagine being in Josie’s shoes. 

“I know.” Josie couldn’t help but think about how long it had been since she had last seen Penelope. If she really did have six months left to live, part of her wanted to be able to see her again before she died. But the other part of her was hoping that Penelope had gotten over her. She wasn’t worth the heartbreak that came with death. 

Wasn’t that why Penelope had left in the first place?

Josie never doubted that Penelope loved her but even love couldn’t overcome other needs. Josie was stuck but Penelope didn’t need to be stuck with her.

Josie was just about to spiral into another one of her unhappy mental holes when the sudden urge to throw up came over her. She rushed over to the nearest potted _anything_ to keep herself from making an unappetizing mess. Raf immediately got her a glass of water and stood by her side as she emptied her stomach. 

“Are you okay?” Raf was more panicked now. For someone who insisted that he shouldn’t worry about them, Josie clearly wasn’t alright. 

“I’m okay,” she answered, reaching for the glass he was holding out. 

“I’m calling you a doctor tomorrow.”

“I’m seriously okay.” Josie hated doctors. Not only was it an incredibly awkward experience, they never prescribed things that didn’t taste worse than dirt. 

“I’m doing it anyway--just in case.” Rafael wasn’t convinced and if Josie didn’t spend so much time hiding things from him, he may have actually trusted her word. She was terrible at asking for help and even worse at receiving other people’s help. 

Sensing that he wasn’t going to drop it, Josie nodded. But as far as she was concerned, she was fine.

Except, Josie was not fine.

She was hit with another bout of nausea the next morning. Thankfully her stomach had nothing left to empty so it wasn’t as bad. It wasn’t great but she would take anything over the feeling of throwing up. Unlike other Romans, she didn’t enjoy it and no amount of delicious food would convince her otherwise.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” the doctor confessed. Aside from her nausea, things didn’t seem out of the ordinary. His best guess was that she ate something she shouldn’t have but that could only be resolved by waiting for it to pass. Bedrest and light food was all he could offer.

Josie was relieved. Rafael wasn’t. 

* * *

 The relief didn’t last long however because over the next few days, the feeling wouldn’t disappear. It got weaker and weaker as time went by but it didn’t fade. Josie felt like she was in a constant state of nausea and eating was harder than it should have been. The only silver lining was that it served as a perfect excuse for her to avoid socializing and leaving her room. Josie couldn’t remember the last time she had had this much time to just read on end. 

When she suddenly heard the door open, she looked up and her eyes met with her sister’s. “Lizzie?” 

Lizzie shushed Josie, looking out the hall to make sure no one had noticed her before firmly closing the door.

Josie raised her brow at her sister’s weird behaviour but Josie had long accepted that her ability to read her sister’s thoughts was gone. The older they grew, the more separate their feelings and motivations were. She sometimes missed the days when they could easily finish each other’s sentences without needing to even look at one another.

Lizzie quietly walked over to his sister’s bed and took a seat on the edge, taking Josie’s hand in her own. There was a seriousness in her eyes that immediately alarmed Josie. 

She was just about to ask what was wrong when Lizzie spoke up.

“I’m pregnant.” 

Josie’s eyes widened and she immediately hugged her sister. “Congratulations!” Josie really meant it. She knew her sister had been looking forward to this for a while and it definitely explained why she herself had been feeling so sick lately. While Josie was fairly confident she was fine, she was glad to know for sure that she was and that she wasn’t actually harbouring some unknown new illness and about to release a plague on all of Rome.

Lizzie shushed her sister again. “Not so loud.” Josie was a bit confused but it was clear her sister wasn’t as excited as she was. Lizzie’s eyes dropped down to their joined hands and it only took seconds for Josie to feel Lizzie’s tears hit them.

“What’s wrong? Why are you…?” Josie cupped her sister’s face and forced her to look up. This was not the time to be crying. Lizzie should be happy and loud at the prospect of being pregnant, not sad and quiet. 

“I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hide it. Hope said that maybe we could take a trip out of Rome or something but that means we will be separated.”

“Why would you—“ Realization suddenly hit Josie. Lizzie was worried about what it meant. Lizzie was pregnant. That meant that there was no way she would be the one to die. Knowing the senators, the choice was obvious and delaying the war any longer was only costing Rome. “Maybe this is the sign from the Gods that we were all waiting for?”

Lizzie’s eyes narrowed and her frown deepened. “Fuck the Gods.” Her sister was not going to die. They were supposed to have another six months to figure this out. She was determined to make sure that they both survived those six months.

“I can’t let you die for me, Lizzie. Especially considering…” She paused and looked down at Lizzie’s stomach. “If it’s not me, it’s you, and you now have someone else to think about…” If it didn’t feel worth it already, it definitely felt worth it now.

“Just let me do this for you,” Lizzie begged. There was no reason to rush it.

Josie shook her head. “If you don’t tell pater, I will.” The sacrifice wasn’t going to be a coin toss and it shouldn’t be. This guaranteed Lizzie’s win and Josie wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

* * *

“How do people get any work done when senators are hosting games every other week?” Penelope only now realized how often Josie had skipped these events for her sake. She remembered very clearly what happened the first time she had attended one and she couldn’t blame Josie for thinking that she was better off never being at one ever again.

The irony of her current situation did not escape her. 

“We are clearly getting our work done and that’s all that matters,” Jed joked as he was tying on the last straps of Felix’s armour. 

Penelope rolled her eyes and continued to sharpen the blade she was preparing. From her place behind the scenes, she was spared from having to witness the more horrible parts of these games and could focus on the fighting. Penelope didn’t like that it was treated as a sport but she had to admit she was kind of getting into it. Now that she was training the gladiators, it became a bit more personal and it became a matter of pride.

Penelope learned pretty quickly that gladiators were too expensive to constantly kill so gladiatorial battles were one of the few spectacles that didn’t always end in death (even if it happened every once in a while). Many of the ones who faced one another were friends behind the scenes, even if there were rivalries here and there. They were all working towards their freedom so of course they were competitive and motivated to win. Nevertheless, cruelty towards one another wasn’t the goal—though it may be an occasional necessity depending on what was demanded of them.

When Penelope was done with the blade, she looked up and searched for the person who was supposed to use it. “Where’s Tarquin?” 

Jed shrugged and gestured vaguely to the halls behind them. “Probably taking a shit somewhere.” 

Penelope rolled her eyes again, fairly certain that Jed wasn’t going to volunteer to find him. “If his pants are down, I cannot be held responsible for what happens to his family’s future generations.” 

Penelope got up and began to search for the gladiator. People were rushing back and forth getting ready for the battles and easily ignored her. Everything was easy to ignore when one’s life was on the line. She casually walked through the halls, feeling a lot more comfortable around the half-naked men and women after spending a few weeks getting to know them. 

She had just spotted Tarquin when something else caught her eye. There was a group of shadowy figures behind him and Penelope recognized some of them. She was never great with faces but some people enjoyed the dishonour catching her attention in a bad way. 

Unfortunately for this group, some of their faces stood out too much for Penelope not to be curious enough to follow. The pontifices that doomed Josie’s life had faces she would never forget.

She shoved the sword into Tarquin’s hands and dismissed him as he tried to thank her. She didn’t trust herself to hold it when there was a high probability that she would shove it in at least one of the men’s chests if given a chance.

“He’s going to announce it today.”

When the group suddenly stopped, Penelope hid behind the corner, her ears tuned into their conversation. 

“I can’t believe he’s actually going through with it.”

“It seems like your master miscalculated how much Alaric cares about his daughters.”

Penelope was definitely interested in their conversation now that Josie was seemingly being dragged into it.

The slave gritted his teeth. “There’s still time for him to change his mind. Regardless, it’ll unhinge him. While he’s mourning over her death, the consul will make his move.” 

The pontifices continued to chat amongst themselves while Penelope paid particular attention to the slave. She recognized him from somewhere and it wasn’t until he mentioned the consul that Penelope remembered where.

“I have to get back upstairs. We can’t meet like this again.”

The slave was about to walk away when his eyes suddenly met Penelope’s.

_Shit_.

She immediately turned around and began to bolt away. The slave quickly sent some of his guards after her and she knew that escaping was going to be next to impossible. She just witnessed a conspiracy to commit treason—they wouldn’t stop hunting her down until she was dead.

She weaved through the familiar halls and shoved her way past the fighters. The chaos made it easy for her to leave their line of sight but the moment the gladiators went rushing through the gates, she would stick out like a sore thumb. Unless…

Penelope sighed. She could probably kiss her job goodbye.


	24. finis vitae sed non amoris - the end of life, but not of love

Penelope grabbed whatever she could as she rushed towards the gate. As much as she would have liked some level of protection, the lack of armour was reminiscent of when she was training with her father so that wasn’t the problem really. The main problem was that her chances of getting out unscathed against trained male gladiators in a full ring was fairly low to begin with. The lack of armour did nothing for her chances when it came to that. She didn’t have to win but she wasn’t going to enjoy losing either.

Penelope managed to slip past the gates just quick enough before they closed on her and the dark halls she had just been in were replaced by screaming crowds and, more importantly, thousands of witnesses. Even though she was out of the ordinary, no one paid real mind to the random girl on the field amidst all the looming men. This was a real battle with their real gladiatorial heroes. People cared about their star athletes more than the people they were going to crush.

At least, everyone else did.

There was no way Josie wouldn’t notice Penelope. For a second, she thought she was imagining things but she would recognize her anywhere. Penelope was in the arena and that was the last place Josie was expecting to see her again. She instantly hoped that it wouldn’t also be the last. What, in the name of the Gods, was Penelope doing in there?

Hope had a similar reaction and while she was very concerned for Penelope’s life (she really was), she also had a feeling that her own life was in danger via a certain soon to be very angry brunette twin who was in love. This was _not_ the plan.

Penelope didn’t notice either of them, however. They were pixels in a sea of people and all she could afford to focus on was the confused men around her. Some of them were from her own school and a silent acknowledgment happened between them. They understood that, whatever Penelope was doing in here, she wasn’t supposed to be in here and, while they would do their best to protect her, this was a dog-eat-dog ring and their own needs came before hers.

Penelope understood that. She was just happy that she didn’t have to deal with all of them.

The moment the match began, it became a fury of screaming, slicing, smashing, and (for Penelope especially) dodging and keeping a low profile. She didn’t seem like much of a threat so the men happily ignored her for the other guy who was carrying a mace and running towards him.

For the most part, her technique worked out just fine. Keep away from the men, occasionally block a stray weapon throw, and avoid all active engagements. She wasn’t in here for the glory. She was here to survive long enough to tell Josie the truth.

Unlike Penelope, Josie was feeling a lot less relieved. Her eyes were trained on Penelope and it took her every ounce of control not to jump out of her seat. Honestly, she didn’t even know why she was trying to maintain control. How much worse could her situation become? She was already destined for death.

Despite her willingness to cause a scene to save Penelope, two things were holding her down. Specifically, two hands on either side of her keeping a painfully tight grip on her own hands. Lizzie and Hope had noticed and they were determined to keep Josie down and controlled.

That was what Penelope would have wanted regardless.

They needed time and Josie didn’t need to do anything to jeopardize what little time they had. Incurring the wrath of the crowds was not productive to their cause.

Penelope was doing fine.

Nevertheless, she could only be ignored for so long until someone decided it was time to challenge her. The battle numbers had dwindled leaving her and two other people left. They were tired and clearly injured so their superior strength may be hampered but Penelope was also exhausted. Her endurance had diminished after spending months relatively inactive and the blistering Roman heat was a bit more than Penelope could take.

She was never more glad to have not grabbed any armour.

When the first guy went rushing towards her, she took her stance. He threw his net forward and Penelope easily dodged it. They were one and the same, him and her. They used their speed to fight and thankfully, Penelope was just a bit faster.

Unfortunately, speed wasn’t his only weapon. With his trident, there was no way Penelope could get close without getting impaled so she had to play it smart. She surveyed the field and when she found what she was looking for, she ran over and quickly grabbed the dagger. She definitely felt much better with two weapons in her hand.

The _retiarius_ easily chased her and tossed his net again. Penelope rolled out of the way but it was too close for comfort. Thinking on her feet, she suddenly threw her sword at him. It was easy for him to block but it was much harder for him to recover with enough time to dodge the dagger that came after. It pierced his chest and he was knocked down and out of contention as far as she could predict.

Penelope didn’t even have time to breathe a sigh of relief before a large axe came barreling at her side. Again, she was able to move away from the heavy sharp object but it was the only thing she could do. Weaponless and tired, Penelope knew that this next one was going to be the toughest battle she’s faced.

She began to back away as he stalked towards her and grabbed the first weapon she could find off the floor. The sword would help her attack but there was no way she could block his axe. He was a hulk of a gladiator and that axe looked heavier than Penelope’s entire body. If he got a good hit, she was as good as butchered meat.

She continued to back away as she tried to figure out what to do about him. Fighting him close up wasn’t an option and the amount of armour he was wearing would make it impossible for her to do the same thing she did to the last guy. As far as Penelope was concerned, she really was screwed.

“Penelope!”

Penelope’s eyes widened. _Josie_. She didn’t have time to find her in the crowd before the axe came smashing down and a scream was heard from somewhere behind her. Penelope only managed to narrowly dodge the attack but not without injury. All this running and rolling around was getting to the wound she had gotten a few weeks back that hadn’t fully recovered yet. The gash on her leg was deeper than she thought and it was a miracle she managed standing as long as she did on that day.

Penelope bit her bottom lip. Her body hurt and her morale had never been so low. The only place she could hope to hurt him was his joints but she couldn’t find an opening large enough to even accomplish that.

Unless…

Penelope scanned the ground before her and smirked when she spotted what she needed. Roman crowds were ridiculous but she had to thank them for this one. She ran over and grabbed the errant tomato and tossed it right at the gladiator’s face. It smashed against his helmet and while it didn’t do any damage, it was enough to dirty his view, forcing him to take his helmet off.

She couldn’t hit joints but a head was a great target.

That brief moment of rest allowed her the chance to spot Josie in the crowd and while she was glad Josie was at least within reach, she wasn’t sure she should be happy that Josie may witness her execution. Even if gladiators didn’t particularly like killing each other, one hit of his axe and Penelope wouldn’t be able to survive no matter where he hit her.

Despite her exhaustion and her poor chances, Penelope smirked at Josie. She didn’t want to worry her and her usual arrogance may be convincing enough for Josie to think maybe she would win. She had made it this far, hadn’t she? It was obvious that Hope and Lizzie were doing their best to contain Josie from jumping into the ring herself. No one could actually stop a fight when the crowds were this loud and it wouldn’t end until someone surrendered or won.

It soon became clear that the gladiator was getting tired of her dodging so he tossed his axe to the side and grabbed a sword. With his quickened pace, it was hard for Penelope to completely dodge and she was forced to exchange blows with him. Every time their swords met, Penelope could practically feel her feet sinking into the dirt. His attacks were heavy and she didn’t have the strength to keep this up. Her arms were growing more and more tired but she had no opportunity to counter. He kept going for slash after slash and it left Penelope practically no opening to aim for his head. Even if he did give her one, Penelope wasn’t tall enough to hit it without getting really close.

It was her only option.

She bolted forward when she spotted his next opening and was inches away from his neck when she felt the wind get knocked out of her, her back crashing painfully against the ground. Getting kicked by a man three times her size was not pleasant and the sharp ache in her chest told her that he had definitely knocked out a rib or two.

She tried to get up but her body felt ten times heavier and even moving her arms hurt. Unable to get up quick enough, she was pinned against the floor by his foot with his blade to her neck. She definitely had a few broken ribs because even the weight of his foot was causing her immense pain.

She had lost and there was only one way to salvage this situation.

She used her last bit of strength to lift her hand up, her index finger pointing to the sky as a sign of surrender. The gladiator smirked and looked up at the host. Penelope looked up too but what she saw made her stomach drop. Josie’s uncle was the host. He was the decider of her fate and beside him was the man she had been running from initially.

She had been doomed from the start.

Suddenly all the sounds drowned out and Penelope’s eyes met with Josie’s. This was it. It was going to be the last time she saw her and the thing that bothered Penelope the most was that she wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t fast enough, to tell Josie what she knew. If she died saving Josie’s life, it would be well worth it, but she had failed.

She had failed them both.

Now, all she could ask for was that she would see her again in the afterlife. The chances of that felt slim but the chances of them ever having met was slim as well. The fates had brought them together and were now cruelly pulling them apart. Maybe it was always meant to end this way? They could never be happy in this world. If they were lucky, maybe they could be happy in the next?

The crowd’s cheer signalled Penelope’s death and Penelope readied herself for it. She closed her eyes and willed herself to take her last breaths. She was going to die and she couldn’t think of a better image to die with—Josie’s face would be the last thing she saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> retiarius - the gladiators that used nets


	25. nil igitur mors est ad nos - death, therefore, is nothing to us

Penelope patiently waited for death… but it never came.

Instead, a large thump was heard and the crowd collectively gasped. Penelope also gasped but only because the weight on her chest had been suddenly lifted. Was she dead?

She slowly opened her eyes but the first thing that hit her was the blinding lights and the same fucking Roman crowds. She was so tired of them. She was hoping she would at least be able to escape them after death.

She turned her head to the side and was greeted by a sight that would have caused her to panic and move away if not for how dead her body felt. Before her was the very gladiator she had just been fighting, completely collapsed with an arrow right through the side of his head.

What the fuck?

The crowd suddenly began to boo and Penelope did her best to look around her. What had just happened? Naturally, her eyes drifted over to Josie’s direction and there she was, bow in hand, looking more glorious than Minerva herself (Penelope had picked up some Roman religion over her stay). 

She dropped the bow and ran as quickly as she could towards an awfully confused Penelope. When did Josie get into the arena anyway?

Penelope gasped in pain when she felt herself being lifted, her head forced to rest on Josie’s lap as she worriedly brushed her hair out of her face. “Penelope!” she cried, praying to all the gods that Penelope was still alive. If they wanted Josie dead, the least they could do was let Penelope survive.

Sensing her only opportunity and being stupidly in love and selfless, the only words Penelope could manage was, “Kai…set up… pontifices…they… they lied.” The world went black afterward.

Josie’s brows furrowed and she couldn’t really process Penelope’s words but it didn’t matter. Penelope was alive and she had every intention of keeping her that way. The crowd continued to boo but the praetorian guards had already surrounded Josie and Penelope. 

“Josie, are you okay?” Kaleb asked, kneeling next to her. Rafael was beside him his sword drawn. The situation was dangerous. Upset crowds meant riots and riots meant death. Whatever this was, it was not good. Still, it was their duty to protect her. 

“I’m fine, but please, get her to a doctor!” 

Rafael looked confused but what mattered to him was that his wife was crying and begging for help. He immediately knelt down and gently began to lift Penelope. “I’ll take her. We need to go grab your sisters and leave.” A few of Rafael’s fellow soldiers had joined him and together they ran out of the arena. 

The streets were a mess and the guards basically had to surround the group the entire time in an attempt to get the Augustus’ family safely back home. Still, they were the best of the best and no one outright dared to attack them. It took too long for Josie’s liking for them to get back to her father’s estate but they eventually got back and Penelope was placed gently on Josie’s bed. Landon immediately rushed off to go fetch the doctor while Josie remained by Penelope’s side, her hands clutching Penelope’s tightly. 

Penelope couldn’t die. That was Josie’s job.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Alaric came rushing in, clearly angered. One minute, he was having a nice dinner with his wife (in an attempt to get her to forgive him), the next he had dozens of soldiers rushing into his home and a rioting crowd outside.

Josie didn’t respond, all she did was continue to stare at Penelope. She was all that mattered right now. Consequences could come later. 

Instead, Lizzie stepped in. “The crowd went crazy at Uncle Kai’s games. You know how they get.” Sports fans were crazy and were too easily worked up. Surely her father could believe that. 

“And what’s she doing here?” There had to be a reason why his entire family was seemingly crowded around a girl that had left their employ months ago. 

“Pater,” Josie finally spoke up but didn’t look away from Penelope. “Before she passed out, she tried to tell me something. She mentioned uncle Kai, the pontifices, then lying, and a set up.” Everyone’s widened eyes went down to Josie. Maybe she should have led with that? Unfortunately, Josie only now was able to piece the words together in any comprehensible way. She was fairly distracted by other pressing matters, after all. 

Alaric narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t trust the words of a former slave but that didn’t mean he couldn’t investigate for himself. It definitely sounded like something Kai would do. He’d been pining for his power ever since he got it. “Kaleb,” the guard in question looked up, “look into this.” Kaleb nodded and pulled a few of his guards with him so that they could figure out what was going on. “Did she say anything else?”

“No.”

Thankfully the doctor rushed in just in time for Josie to have an excuse to kick everyone out from her room so that she could focus on Penelope. 

* * *

It took a few hours for Penelope to finally wake up but when she did, she really wished she didn’t. It felt like every muscle in her body was sore and even breathing felt painful. That was her first clue as to the fact that she was very much alive. The next clue was when she opened her eyes, she was immediately greeted by Josie’s worried face and her saying, “You’re awake!”

Penelope tried to push herself up to observe her environment but barely managed to lift her arm before Josie grabbed it and placed it back down. “You’re seriously injured. Don’t overdo it.” She walked over to the table and returned with a glass of water. “Here.” She gently shuffled Penelope upwards so that she was at least upright before helping her with the water. 

“What—“ Penelope cleared her throat, her voice awfully hoarse and dry. “What happened?” While she was fairly confident she was alive, with Josie here, she would be quite content if she weren’t. 

“You passed out and I brought you back here.” 

Penelope closed her eyes and tried to remember the moments before she did and when she did, only one thought was in her head. “Your uncle—“

Josie shook her head. “My pater is taking care of it.”

Breathing was hard but Penelope let out a relieved breath knowing that Josie got her message. She didn’t have to die. Josie’s life was safe and that’s all that mattered to her. 

“You’re an idiot,” Josie suddenly stated, causing Penelope to bite her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing (it would hurt too much). 

“That’s pretty harsh for someone who almost died,” Penelope retorted, unable to keep herself from grinning. At least her face didn’t hurt. 

“You deserve it.” There was no real malice in Josie’s expression, however. If anything, it just seemed sad. “Hope told me everything.” Penelope didn’t respond, content to let Josie air her grievances. Josie had a voice and Penelope wanted nothing more than for her to use it.

Josie looked down at Penelope’s hand and took one in her own. “All this time I thought you left because you just didn’t think I was worth it...” Josie was going to die. There was no future here. 

Penelope immediately shook her head. “You’re worth everything and more.” That much was clear considering the fact she almost died and the one wish she had was that she could do more. “I love you, Josie.”

Josie smiled. “And I never doubted that. It’s still hard when your lover decides to leave you without even saying goodbye. I love you too, you know.”

Penelope smiled sadly and rubbed Josie’s hand. “That was because I knew that if you told me to stay, I would be too selfish to go.” Everything she did was to further Josie’s chances of survival and it horrified her how easy it would have been for her to give in to how much she selfishly loved her and not do the right thing. 

“Idiot.” Josie leaned forward and pressed their lips together. She had missed Penelope, more than she thought it was ever possible to miss someone. Penelope eagerly returned the kiss as best as she could. It had felt like an eternity since they had been this close and Penelope had almost forgotten how complete she felt whenever Josie’s lips met hers. How had she even survived this long without it?

When Josie finally broke the kiss, she didn’t fully pull away, instead, she rested her forehead against Penelope’s. “You’re never allowed to leave me again.”

“I promise I won’t.” It was one promise Penelope had every intention of keeping. “I don’t even think it’s possible for me to even try.” 

“Good. That also means you have to let me die before you do.”

“Fine.” Penelope rolled her eyes. “I guess I owe you that much for saving my life, but can we not talk about death anymore? We’ve been far too close to it for comfort.”

“Agreed.“

* * *

It took a few days for Penelope to even get out of bed and the entire time, Josie was at her side, taking care of her and making her want for nothing. Her entire body may have felt like it had been crushed by a marble statue but Penelope had never been happier to just spend time with Josie with no pretense and no one daring to bother them. Anyone who even tried was given a death glare and Penelope didn’t know someone so cute was capable of being so terrifying. 

Josie was really tired of everyone else’s problems. 

The only thing that managed to pull both of them out of Josie’s room was when her father invited Penelope personally to join him at the atrium. 

“Kai and his co-conspirators have been arrested for treason. Some of the members have already confessed,” Alaric declared. He wasn’t able to meet the eyes of his daughter, ashamed that he had so easily fallen for their trick. Regardless, all he could do now was to make it up to her. 

He looked down at Penelope. “As a thank you for saving my daughters’ lives, I wish to give you a reward. Name anything and I will do it if it’s within my power.”

Before Penelope could speak, Josie placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up at her. “Exile me.”

The words that came out of Josie’s mouth shocked both of them. 

“What?” Alaric was caught by complete surprise. His daughter’s life had just been saved and now Josie wanted to be exiled? That made no sense. 

“I don’t want to live like this anymore, pater. Everything I do is for you and the people of Rome. I am tired of it. I want to live for me.” Josie was confident in her choice. “Raf can divorce me, the people of Rome can forget about me,” she looked down at Penelope and smiled, “and I can be free from all this.”

She walked up to her father and took his hand. “I love you, pater, but it shouldn’t have to take death for me to be able to be free.” She never wanted this life—it was just the only one she knew. Now that there was something out there that she truly wanted more, she was ready to take it. 

She looked back at Penelope, who was still stunned, but the moment their eyes met, Penelope smiled. She was never going to say no to anything Josie suggested. If Josie wanted out, Penelope would happily stand by her side as they left. 

Alaric eyes went between the two of them. He may have been gullible in this instance but he wasn’t stupid. It was impossible for anyone in the room to miss the way the two of them looked at one another. He hadn’t seen Josie this happy and relaxed in what felt like forever. 

“If you were willing to lose me to death, I’m sure you’ll be fine losing me because I want to leave,” Josie added, raising her brow at her father as if challenging him to fight against her request. She was still his daughter and he was steps away from killing her. She had the guilt card in her hand and she wasn’t afraid to use it. 

Penelope had to contain her laugh, that moment reminding her of the first time they had met. Josie rarely wanted anything but when she did, she sure knew how to get it. 

Alaric sighed. “Is this really what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, but you’re explaining this to your mater and your sisters.”

* * *

“Lizzie, please talk to me. Aren’t you going to even say goodbye?”

Lizzie shook her head and looked away, refusing to acknowledge her traitorous sister. She was abandoning her and Lizzie took it as a deep betrayal. Not only was her sister leaving her with all her responsibilities so she could go off honeymooning with her lover (forever), she was also leaving her alone with Hope.   

Hope laughed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk some reason into her. I give it a week until she forgives you and comes crying to your new place in Herculaneum.” 

“Or until she murders you and somehow blames your death on me,” Josie deadpanned. 

“Very possible. If I die, I’ll probably blame it on you as well,” Hope joked. She looked over at Penelope and gave her a gentle hug. “Try to avoid death matches from now on, will you?”  

Penelope smirked. “No guarantees.”

Hope rolled her eyes before switching over to hugging Josie. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too but you can visit me at any time.” 

When Josie pulled away, she looked over at Raf. “Thank you for understanding.”

He smiled and shrugged. “I just want you to be happy, Josie. Besides, now I can find someone I love as well.”

“I’ll miss you, Penny!” Landon tried to hug Penelope, only to get shoved back. She may still be injured but he wasn’t allowed to take advantage of that. 

“Don’t die,” was all Penelope was willing to offer in return. She may have just gotten her ass handed to her by a giant gladiator but she still had an image to maintain. 

The rest of the group broke out into a good moment of laughter before they all calmed down and let a silence drift between them. 

“Ready to go?” Penelope asked, offering Josie her hand. 

“Since I’ve met you,” Josie teased, happily taking it. 

Nothing felt more right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very close to the end!
> 
> All we have left is the epilogue :D


	26. amor vincit omnia - love conquers all

**EPILOGUS**

“ _Mater_ , Julia is being mean again!” little Octavian cried out as he ran into Lizzie’s arms.

Lizzie frowned and glared at Penelope who was entering with Julia in hand, laughing as if the bullying of her innocent child was funny. Octavian had a soft soul like his pater and Lizzie loved him for it so she was more than willing to defend her son.

“Octavian is just angry that I won,” Julia declared proudly. She let go of Penelope’s hand ran over to Josie, jumping into her lap.

Josie smiled and wrapped her arms around the girl. “I thought you promised that you would make them play nice with one another?” Josie chastised, looking over at a very amused Penelope.

“I can’t control her,” Penelope replied, giving Josie a nonchalant shrug. “She’s as stubborn as you.”

“I’m the stubborn one?” Josie gasped, playing up her fake offence.

“Yes.” Penelope strolled over and took a seat next to Josie. “Besides, Octavian is like two years older. How is he ever going to become a military general if he finds little Julia intimidating?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. As happy as she was that Josie was happy, she had soon realized that Penelope was probably more annoying than Hope and that was saying a lot, especiallynow that Penelope didn’t care what Lizzie thought of her. “Don’t listen to her, Octavian. You’ll be great.”

Penelope laughed. They really did spoil the little kid. He was essentially the crown prince so Penelope saw nothing wrong with taking his ego down a peg or two.

“How is it back in Rome?” Josie asked.

“The same as it always was. I think pater has given up on trying to marry off Hope. Every time he mentions it, she runs here. He knows it’s a silent threat that she’ll pull a you if he forces it.”

“So that’s why her visits are always so sudden...” Josie couldn’t help but laugh. Her poor father deserved every bit of it. She missed him but his annual visits were enough for her. They were all happy and that was all that mattered.

Josie and Lizzie continued to talk, catching up on each other’s lives (with the occasional interjection from Penelope). The distance somehow made them rekindle their closeness. The competition that had been forced between them had dissipated and they were allowed to just _be_ again.

Everything felt perfect.

“It’s getting late, I think it’s bedtime for the little ones,” Josie stated, placing a small kiss on the crown of Julia’s head. Lizzie agreed. She had a long trip home tomorrow. It was nice staying with her sister but the small town was boring compared to Rome. She had invited Josie back many times but her sister was adamant about keeping her exile in place. Apparently, Rome had a habit of sucking people in and Josie wanted no where near that force.

Josie got up and lifted Julia with her. Penelope saw Lizzie and her son out before making her way to Julia’s room. By the time she had gotten there, Josie was already recounting one of the many stories she had memorized in her head and Penelope happily stood by the side, content to watch the two of them with absolute love and awe in her eyes.

Julia had been an unexpected addition to their lives but they couldn’t have imagined it any other way. They had fallen in love with her the moment they met her and were thankful that they had gotten to her first. Babies were too often abandoned for slave traders to find and they had only happened to discover her one night as they were taking a walk.

The moment Josie looked down at her with those wide eyes, there was no way Penelope could say no (not that she would have regardless).

When Julia had fallen asleep, they made their way to their own room and started their nightly routine. Thankfully, was never as complicated as it was back in Rome. While Alaric had been willing to accommodate any request, Josie asked for nothing more than security and simplicity.

To the rest of their new town, Josie was just the daughter of a rich Roman merchant and Penelope was a friend. It made their lives quiet. There was no need to entertain rich patricians and no need to mind what anyone else thought of them. As long as they kept to themselves, no one questioned it and Josie wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go back with Lizzie? Just to visit?” Penelope asked, getting into bed.

Josie shook her head. “Nope. I’m happy right here.” Her exile worked perfectly for her. There were no expectations for her return and her image had faded away from popular thought. The last thing she wanted was to be noticed again.

She leaned in and kissed Penelope before cuddling up to her. “Besides, there’s no way I’m leaving you alone with Julia. Knowing you, I’ll come back and she’ll have as many scars as you.”

“Are you saying you don’t trust me with our child?”

“Exactly.”

Penelope laughed and rolled over so that she could straddle Josie. “And yet you are so trusting of me when it comes to your own body.”

Josie raised her brow. “And if I didn’t?” On instinct, Josie’s eyes ran over Penelope’s beautiful naked form, her own body anticipating what was to come.

Penelope smirked. “I’m not sure you have a choice, Jojo.” She grabbed both of Josie’s hands and pinned them to the bed before leaning in so that she could whisper, “You’re mine.”

The words were enough to send a shiver through Josie’s spine and she turned her head so that she could connect their lips. There were many times at the beginning that Josie had claimed possession over Penelope because it legally suited them but Josie definitely loved it when Penelope claimed her in return. Silly laws meant nothing compared to the feelings they had for each other.

Penelope happily returned the kiss, the excitement of it still having not faded after years of being together. She wanted Josie as much as she did when they had first kissed (if not more). “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They kissed again, conveying every ounce of feeling they had for one another in the simple action. They could feel the years of knowing one another and loving one another flow between them. The familiarity was comforting but never boring.

 _This_ was home.

The fates had dragged them back and forth but they would never let anything pull them apart ever again. They were destined to be together and it was the one thing they would always be sure of.

There was no going back.

**FINIS**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been one wild ride!
> 
> Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope you've all enjoyed it as much as I have. I never thought I would make it this far but here I am and that's because of all of your unending support. Every comment brought a smile to my face, made me think harder about what I wanted this story to be, and I don't think I wouldn't have been so motivated to finish if not for your help :) 
> 
> I would especially like to thank Gaby for starting this journey with me and being endlessly patient as I screamed my ideas at her.
> 
> I would also like to thank rollyturtle for being the awesome friend I've made along the way. Your constant reactions and support has made this so much more fun and I'm glad we met through this craziness even though all I ever did was tease and torture your heart.
> 
> I also have to thank that one special person that always believed in my ability to write. She never stopped encouraging me even though I never believed in myself and I don't think I would have even attempted something like this if I didn't come around to seeing myself the way she saw me. I hope this made you proud :)
> 
> Nevertheless, the people who put in the effort of commenting after every chapter are the real MVPs. 
> 
> With any luck, I'll see you all very soon ;)


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